It'll Be You and I
by hermionesmydawg
Summary: Drabbles from my Tumblr. Mostly Kensi and Deeks.
1. I Wanna Die With You

This is just a drabble from my Tumblr. Set in the future with established Densi.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with this show. And even though I own the album, I don't own One Republic, who I blatantly stole a line from in this story.

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><p>"So, " Deeks said after checking his gun, "how much you got left?"<p>

Kensi loaded a new magazine into her Sig Sauer with a resounding _pop_. "Just my backup magazine left, so ten. You?"

"Five. And how many bad guys are out there shooting at us?" Deeks asked as he peeked his head around the large dumpster they were hiding behind. A bullet hit the side of the dumpster and he pulled his head back and winced.

"Uh, I'd say at least eight of them? Maybe more?" Kensi guessed.

"And Sam and Callen?"

"Probably at least 10 minutes out."

Deeks sighed. "So we got a chance to make it out of here if we both make the best shots of our lives, right? No big deal." He looked at his partner anxiously before aiming his gun around the corner and firing two shots. "Make that three left."

Another round of bullets hit the back of the dumpster again and the two huddled up together. "This _might_ be a big deal Deeks. We've got no backup, hardly any bullets, and pretty soon they're going to get impatient and surround us and…" Kensi paused.

"We're screwed," Deeks finished her sentence. "Okay, swap guns with me. I'll pop up and draw their fire and you make a run for it."

"Oh hell no!" Kensi yelled. "I know it's your turn to get shot again but not on my watch, babe." She winked at him. "We stay together or we go together."

Deeks grinned at her. He leaned over, grabbing her head and pulling her in for a kiss. "Well if we only die once, I wanna die with you."

Kensi shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I don't know if that's the cheesiest or the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."

"It is what it is," Deeks said solemnly, with a grave look on his face. "You know I love you right?"

"Deeks…"

He grabbed her empty hand and squeezed it. "You know, right?"

Kensi squeezed her eyes closed and nodded. "I know. You know too, right?"

Another round of gunfire hit the dumpster and they both hunkered down again. "Oh I know. And if we make it out of here alive I'm hoping you'll show much how much you love me," Deeks said, flashing her a devilish grin.

Kensi crawled to the corner of the dumpster and fired 3 shots, hitting one of the cartel members carrying an AR15. "Got one! And really?! We're taking heavy fire and still all you can think of is sex."

"What can I say? You're sexy as hell with a gun."

Another round of fire came suddenly, but nothing hit the dumpster. Kensi and Deeks shared a look. Kensi nodded to him and they both popped up on either side of the dumpster, aiming fire at the cartel members. Sam and Callen had come in from opposite doors with guns blazing.

"Deeks, you're out of ammo, get down!" Kensi yelled as she emptied her magazine, taking out two more bad guys. She ducked back down and hung her head, waiting for either the gunfire to stop or for them to be found.

"Deeks, Kensi, status!" Sam yelled.

"We're empty, not hurt!" Deeks yelled back.

"We got this, stay down!" Callen shouted, firing his weapon.

Soon it was quiet in the warehouse. Kensi and Deeks stood up slowly and abandoned the security of their dumpster. Sam and Callen were kickng weapons away from the dead and injured. "Hey Eric, we need ambulances and LAPD at our current location. We're all good," Callen called into his earwig.

"Thanks guys, we owe you one," Kensi said, relieved.

"You guys owe us way more than one," Sam responded. "I'm getting kinda tired of saving your butts all the time."

Deeks smiled at Sam. "We're not going to get in this pissing match again. Thanks man." He reached out and shook the large man's hand, pulling him in for a hug.

"Ahem," Kensi cleared her throat behind them, holding her hands together and swaying her hips. When Deeks turned around, she ran and jumped into his arms, planting a big kiss on his lips. He kissed her back, running his hands through her hair lovingly.

"Guys. Really. Are you always going to make out now after every near death experience?" Callen asked, rolling his eyes.

Kensi pulled away from Deeks and he set her down gently. She looked up into her partner's eyes. "Hopefully."


	2. Tackle-Hug

Prompt from Anonymous - Tackle-hug

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><p>Kensi was crouched nervously, shaking one of her legs back and forth and sighing impatiently every few minutes.<p>

"You okay, Kensi?" Sam asked.

"Pssha, yeah, I'm fine," she lied.

"We're professionals you know."

Kensi looked offended. "Are you calling me unprofessional?"

Sam rolled his eyes at her. "G and Deeks. They're fine."

"I never said they weren't," Kensi replied, looking nervously at the office building around the corner. Callen and Deeks had gone in undercover as the Dale Brothers; two farmers who bought and distributed dynamite legally for other farmers to use for destruction of crops. Recently however, they started looking into more elaborate, and therefore illegal, explosives for purchase. After being detained at the boatshed, Callen and Deeks took their place at a meet with a group suspected of selling C4 to homegrown terrorists.

"It is awfully quiet in there," Sam commented.

"Way too quiet…" Kensi said. "We need to go in."

"We're not going through this every time Deeks is undercover, Kensi," Sam warns.

Kensi replied through gritted teeth, "Well _last time_ I was right." Sam nodded and stood up, approaching the small building. He hesitated, cocking his head at the sudden noise level increase. "Eric, we need backup and possibly medical at our current location, gunshots fired. Kensi!"

She had left Sam behind, running full speed with her gun drawn. A strong force hit her suddenly, knocking her off her feet and slamming her into the ground. Her ears popped and she heard a loud explosion, debris falling all around her.

"DEEKS!" She screamed, wrestling on the ground and trying to stand up.

"You know, I think I already have one busted ear drum, I don't need you to kill the other one too," Deeks grumbled next to her.

"What? How did get out here, you were just in there, are you okay?" Kensi rambled, crawling over to him. She grabbed his face and looked him over. "You're okay?" She asked again.

"Fine," he groaned, standing up. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up with him. "We thought things were about to get hinky and tried to get out, guns go bang, bombs go boom, and we managed to run out before well…" he pointed to the burning building, "ya know."

Kensi pulled him close to her, hugging him fiercely. "I was about to go in after you."

"Yeah and thanks to me tackling you, you're still alive," he said pointedly. He ran his hand down her side that she landed on. "You good?"

She smiled and gave him a quick kiss. "Great."

"Yeah, you know, I'm okay too," Callen said bitterly next to them, brushing debris off of his suit. "Not that anybody cares."

Sam gave him a cross look. "You look fine to me, G. But I ain't kissing you."


	3. Post-Sex

Prompt from Aprylynn - Densi Post-Sex

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><p>Kensi rolls over and pulls the covers back over her body. "Well, that was…unexpected."<p>

Deeks grins mischievously and slides over, propping himself up on her pillow. "Sorry about waking you up, but I have been thinking about you _all day_." He trails a finger gently up her arm and then down her collarbone. "I hate having to work late."

"Well," Kensi says sleepily. "Maybe if you come back to NCIS we could work the same hours again. And have sex like normal people."

"I never want to have sex like normal people," he counters.

Kensi shivers as he traces his finger lower on her chest. "Stop that, you know I'm ticklish afterwards. And you know what I mean." She tugs gently at the hairs at the nape of his neck and he leans down to kiss her softly. "I miss you."

Deeks pulls back from her to lie on his back, crossing his fingers over his chest. "I know. I'm still thinking about it."

Kensi nods and closes her eyes. "Uh huh. I have to be up early. G'night babe."

"Hey Kens?"

"What?"

"You know you can wake me up in the morning…payback if you want."

Kensi sighs. "I'll think about it."


	4. Dell - Hug from Behind

Prompt from ifiknowyouatall - Deeks/Nell Hug from Behind

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><p>Nell stood by the hospital bed, awkwardly fingering the sheet. She never thought she would see <em>The<em> Henrietta Lange this way; frail, unconscious, and hooked up to numerous machines that were obviously keeping her alive. Hetty's past had finally caught up to her, and in typical Hetty fashion she had sacrificed herself to save her team.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save you this time," Nell said aloud. "I let you down."

"You know that's not true."

Nell jumped, startled at the voice behind her. Deeks has walked into the ICU unit behind her. "You scared me. I never even heard you walk in."

Deeks shrugged, looking at Hetty sadly. "We learned from the best, I guess."

Nell gave him a small smile before turning back to Hetty. "Yeah I guess. I feel like I need to be here, to make my peace with her before…" she cleared her throat.

Deeks nodded and pointed to the doorway. "Do you want me to leave?"

She shook her head furiously. "No. It's kinda comforting to have you here. We've known her the least amount of time, ya know? Imagine how everybody else is feeling right now."

Deeks stood quietly, letting her get out whatever it was she needed to. Nell rubbed her eyes and coughed, trying to keep from crying. "You gave me a chance, Hetty. You saw something in me that you thought was valuable, and you took me in and taught me things nobody else ever could have." She couldn't stop the tear that escaped from her right eye, breaking the seal for all the rest of the tears she'd been holding back.

Wrapping his arms around her shoulders, Deeks rested his chin on his friend's head. "It's okay," he whispered.

She nodded and rubbed Hetty's hand. "I just hope I can make you proud."


	5. Sleep Cuddling

Prompt from Aprylynn - Densi Sleep-Cuddling

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><p>"I'm cold," Deeks hears from the far end of the bed he was sharing with his partner.<p>

"I'm sorry?" he replies, not budging from his comfortable position.

Kensi huffs and pulls more of the covers over her. "These sheets are stupid. It's like they're two sizes two small for this bed. And they're so thin I can see through them." She kicks her legs under the sheets, trying to get comfortable and accidentally hits Deeks in the shin with her heel.

"Oh my God you have GOT to stop this. Sheesh." He rubs his shin. "This is like trying to sleep with a tiger in a sleeping bag."

"Neh neh neh," Kensi makes a face at him. "I'm cold and uncomfortable and I can't sleep. Deal with it."

Deeks groans and rolls over to her side of the bed, reaching his arm around her waist and pulling her back roughly against his chest.

"What are you doing?" she asks through gritted teeth.

"Warming you up," he replies sleepily.

"You could have gotten up and found a blanket."

"YOU could have gotten up and found a blanket, too." He adjusts his body down to avoid any inappropriate rubbing against her. "Is that better?"

"I guess so. But we're supposed to be married. Married people don't sleep like this."

Deeks snorts. "This coming from the expert on marriage, huh?" He waits for a smart remark, but all he hears is light snoring. He smiles and rubs her stomach gently with his thumb, nodding off to sleep.


	6. Densi - Hug from Behind

Prompt from Aprylynn - Densi Hug from behind

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><p>Kensi looks in the mirror in the dressing area at the mission, adjusting her pants and shirt awkwardly. "You know I'm not happy about this right?"<p>

"Well, it _is_ the only logical choice Ms. Blye, unless you are planning on sending Miss Jones in your place?" Hetty responds, offering a curt smile.

Kensi turns sideways, checking out her profile. "Does it look fake?"

"No my dear, in fact I think it looks quite…natural."

Kensi chuckles softly and rubs her prosthetic baby bump. "If you say so."

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><p>"You guys ready for this?" Callen asks of his team in the rearview mirror, pulling the Excursion into an alley close to the Marina del Rey harbor and parking behind one of their Mercedes'.<p>

Kensi and Deeks share a nervous look. "What?" "Ready for this?" "That's funny." "Hahaha." They both ramble over each in other in response.

"Ready for the _case_," Sam says, rolling his eyes.

Deeks tugs at his jacket nonchalantly. "Ready to be a dad to a fake baby? It's just like I'm back in college."

Kensi looks at him, disgusted. "Tacky." Deeks nods his head in apology.

"Okay, if we can get to the real point of being here," Callen says, agitation growing. "You two, backstory?"

"Husband and wife, work for NSA, baby on the way, turning traitor and selling secrets to the baddies so they can retire in the Bahamas and raise their baby on the beach, but not really cause this is all some really extreme double-sided plot with the CIA slash NSA slash FBI slash somehow now NCIS." Deeks looks proud of himself.

Kensi pulls out a flash drive from her purse. "Thanks for the full movie synopsis Deeks. We get them the flash drive, give them the bank account information in the Cayman Islands, and we're out." Sam and Callen nod in agreement, and Kensi and Deeks climb out of the SUV and get into the Mercedes, driving towards the boat owned by the Iranian attempting obtain secrets that could put thousands of Americans in danger.

Deeks looks over at Kensi as he parks the car. "You good?"

Kensi breathes in deeply and rubs her fake belly. "Yeah. Ready."

The pair exits the vehicle and approaches the boat cautiously. As they walk up the boat ramp two men appear on opposite ends of the boat with their guns raised. "Whoa," Deeks says, trying to position himself between Kensi and the two men. "We're not armed."

"Give us the drive," armed bad guy on the left says in a thick accent.

Kensi retrieves the flash drive from her purse and holds in the air, twisting her hands to show that is all she is holding. Deeks walks it up the ramp and the other man meets him halfway to grab the flash drive. He exchanges it for a business card.

"We need to get paid," Kensi says firmly.

"Call the number on the card and give him your information."

"I don't know if that's good enough," Kensi responds. Deeks sends a warning look to her but she doesn't meet his eyes.

"If it is not, you know where to find us." The two men disappear into the cabin of the boat, leaving Kensi and Deeks on the ramp alone. They both walk backwards off of the ramp, waiting until they're a good distance from the boat before turning and walking back to the Mercedes.

"I thought we were in and out? Why were you egging them on?" Deeks asks accusingly.

"We're trying to sell a cover Deeks. The whole point was to get paid right?"

Deeks sighs and opens her car door. "You've got to start being more cautious Kensi. In and out, nothing unnecessary." He slams her door and slides in the driver seat.

"Nothing happened Deeks. We're okay, aren't we?"

Deeks rubs her left knee. "This time."

She covers his hand with hers and intertwines her fingers in his. "And next time, and every other time. I have your back and you've got mine."

Deeks turns to look at her and smiles. "Always."

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><p>Kensi steps out from behind the dressing curtain and tosses her prosthetic belly onto a chair. She stands in front of the mirror again, smoothing her t-shirt down over her jeans. She sees her partner approach behind her and smiles.<p>

"Back to belly-less again I see," he says, sliding his arms around her waist and kissing her on the neck. He rubs one hand gently across her stomach. "Still not ready to tell everybody yet?"

"No," Kensi replies firmly. "As soon as they find out I'll be stuck on desk duty or up in Ops." She shudders overdramatically.

"You know that's what I want and that you're driving me crazy with worry every time we go out into a dangerous situation, right?"

Kensi nods. "I know. Soon, I promise. I just don't know if I'm ready for that big of a change yet."

Deeks meets her eyes in the mirror and kisses her cheek. "Okay, I'll give you more time. Cause pretty soon, _everything_ is gonna change."


	7. Frozen Lake AU

I still don't anything. Kinda sad really.

Prompt: Let's pretend that Kensi never was sent away. At the end of Frozen Lake, Kensi and Deeks got the chance to talk about their thing.

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><p>Deeks sprints into the side door of the mission, slowing down and breathing a sigh of relief when he sees his partner sitting at her desk packing her bag. "Oh good, you're still here. I broke like, every traffic law known to man trying to get here. Hell, maybe even a few laws of physics."<p>

Kensi cocks her head and stands up, throwing her bag over her shoulder. "You really thought that after a day like today, I was going to leave you?"

Grinning at her, Deeks approaches her and pokes her stomach. "I dunno, you know how you can get when you get really hungry and the Kensi-belly-monster takes over. It's like _rawr, feed me Seymour, rawr_." He makes an awkward gesture with his hand like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. "Rawr? No? Okay."

Kensi shakes her head and smiles at him. "Come on, we need to get you out that suit."

"Wow," Deeks says, raising his eyebrows. "Well in that case we really need to get you out of that shirt…" he teases, tugging at the hem of her now infamous shirt.

She pushes his hand away from her shirt and grabs his index finger, leading him away from their desks. "You know what I mean."

"Do I? Cause you sure say that a lot and I find myself wondering if I really do."

"Okay," she says slowly, glancing over at Hetty's desk. Hetty looks up from her paperwork for just a second before returning to her folders. "You need to change back into your clothes so we can get out of here?"

Deeks shrugs his jacket off of his shoulders, feeling around its pockets. "Good enough for me. Ahhh," he says, pulling out the knife she lent him earlier. "I wanted to thank you for, you know," he hands the knife back to her, "For trusting me. With this. Even if it is _just_ a knife."

Taking the knife, she rubs her thumb over it fondly before placing it in her back pocket. "Hurry up," she says, turning away from him. "I'm hungry."

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><p>"Wow, this is kinda like déjà vu all over again," Deeks says, opening the door to his apartment. "Hey Monty, what's up boy, did you eat?" <em>Woof woof<em>. "Good, you won't be begging us for our food." Monty cocks his head and wags his tail. "Yeah I know, you probably will."

Kensi spreads their food and drinks down on the coffee table and pats her leg for Monty to come over. Deeks joins her on the couch and they eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, sharing glances here and there. Kensi finishes her dinner quickly and sets her empty Chinese food container and fork on the table. "So. Where were we?"

Deeks points his chopsticks at her. "Last I remember, I got out of my suit so I guess that means…" and he wiggles his chopsticks at her shirt.

"Seriously Deeks."

"No, seriously, that shirt is starting to emit like a green gas, it's really distracting…" he laughs.

Kensi doesn't laugh. "And you say _I_ don't like to talk about it."

"Talk about what?"

"Our thing."

"Becoming more comfortable with that now, are we?" Deeks asks, grinning with his mouth full of his last bite of food. Kensi stares at him blankly. He bobs his head as he tries to finish chewing, places his empty container on the table, and takes a sip of his drink. "Okay."

"Okay."

"So, what do you think our 'thing' is exactly?" Deeks asks her.

She stretches her legs out and puts her feet in his lap. "I don't know. I guess it's two people that have grown to be very close, probably too close considering what we do for a living, that spend all day working together and still find an excuse to spend all night together too." Kensi tilts her head at Deeks, trying to guage his reaction.

"Or maybe," he offers, sliding closer to her, spreading her legs slightly. "Maybe it's two people that are partners, and best friends, and happen to be extremely attracted to each other."

"Extremely?"

"_Extremely_," he replies, brushing her cheek with his thumb. "You disagree?"

"No, no, no," Kensi says quickly, blushing. He leans down, brushing his lips gently over hers. "I just…do you think maybe we should slow down a little bit?"

Deeks pauses and pulls back slightly. "Oh. I'm sorry, I guess I just kinda thought that after last night, you know…"

"Yeah I know," she said smiling. "I was thinking tonight, maybe quality over quantity?"

Deeks laughs quietly and begins kissing her neck. "Oh yeah…I can do quality."


	8. Clinging

Prompt from the Cuddles/Hugs Meme: Densi - Clinging. This chapter is rated M for a couple of adult words.

I don't own anything to do with NCIS:LA.

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><p>"What, how do you miss that shot?! You guys suck!"<p>

Deeks glanced to his left at the belligerent man sitting next to him. He was at his usual after work hangout again, even if Kensi did make fun of him and his bar buddies for watching a documentary about Baktun 13 and for their stupid flavored condoms in the bathroom. _Like she does anything better with her evenings_, he thought. _She probably goes home and cleans all her guns and Googles 'how to be funny.'_

"Rudy, I don't see how you can get so mad every night. You know your team sucks. This is nothing new," Deeks said, chuckling. "I…" he paused, feeling his pants pocket vibrating. Pulling the phone out, he checked the caller ID. _Kensi_. He groaned loudly and threw some cash down on the bar. "I gotta go guys, work calling." He sprinted towards the exit, answering the phone as he pushed open the door. "Deeks."

"Heeeeey partner. I need a riiiiiide."

"Kensi?"

"Do you have another partner?" she slurred.

Deeks stopped walking and leaned against the outer wall of the bar. "Where are you?"

She giggled. "At that bikini bar you like to go to."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Welllll," she said slowly. "After work me and the girls went out for some drinks. And like, I said that I had a really stressful day at work and they said how is it stressful being an art curator and I felt bad that I couldn't say that I don't know shit about art so I ordered shots for everybody and we said hey lets go find some guys and I said that the cool guys go to bikini bars instead of strip clubs so here we are."

Deeks thought he heard her burp after she finished the longest run-on sentence he'd ever heard in his life, but ignored it. "I'm walking over there right now. See you in a second." The bikini bar he frequented (far less frequently than he used to) was just around the corner from his usual fully clothed bar. He walked over quickly but was stopped when the bouncer held his hand up to him.

"Cover."

Deeks sighed. "I don't want to go in, I'm just picking somebody up. "

The bouncer held up two fingers and Deeks ran in, scanning the room for his partner. He saw her sitting by herself at the table closest to door, looking at her phone. He walked over to the table and stared down at her. She stood up quietly, avoiding his eyes and sauntered towards the door proudly. Halfway out the door she tripped over her own feet and fell into him, clinging on to his shirt to keep from falling. "Oops."

Deeks sighed and wrapped an arm around her waist, helping her walk out the door and nodding a 'thanks' to the bouncer. "Uh, how drunk _are_ you?"

"I haven't drink too much, just too drive to drunk."

"Every single word in that sentence is wrong."

Kensi wrapped both arms around his waist, steadying herself as they walked. "I didn't pick anybody up."

"I'm sorry?"

"Everybody else picked somebody up. I was telling jokes, they were funny this time."

"Well _that_ explains everything."

"This guy said I was hot, but boring. Am I boring?"

Deeks looked down at his inebriated partner's face. She was trying way too hard to look sad. "Boring, no. Uber-serious and impossible to read, yes."

Kensi stopped walking and pushed off of him, trying to stand on her own. "But you see through it."

"See through what?" he asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"My bullshit."

Deeks tilted his head up, looking at the sky. "It's kinda my job to read people, Kensi."

"Callen and Sam, they don't see it!" Kensi responded loudly.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder again, guiding her down the street towards his car. "Maybe they're just not looking."

"Ooooh, how philosophical of you, Professor Deeks. So you're saying that you _are_ looking at me."

Deeks rolled his eyes at her. "I'm looking at a drunk idiot, that's what I'm looking at."

"Why doesn't anybody call you Marty?" she asked, slurring her words.

"People _do_ call me Marty, _you_ just don't call me Marty."

"Do you not like it because it rhymes with farty? Huh, Farty Marty?" she snorted.

"Classy," he repled dryly, pulling out his car keys. "Here's my ride, drunk princess."

She placed a hand on his arm to stop him from opening the door. "I just need a couple more minutes of fresh air I think," she said, leaning her back against his car.

He followed suit, leaning next to her. "Fine. I'd rather you not puke in my car anyway."

She rested her head against his shoulder. "I think I like you, Farty Marty."

"Well that's certainly new, must be all those buttery nipples talking."

"We almost died today," Kensi said bluntly.

"We almost die every day we go to work, Kensi."

"No really, there was a _nuclear bomb_. And Callen and Sam, they almost died twice. Twice in one day. Shit."

Deeks hesitated for a second, but chose to wrap his arm around her waist, resting his hand along the hem of her skinny jeans. "We roll the dice every day."

Kensi ran her hand across his chest slowly. "What would happen if we fucked?"

Deeks laughed. "Wow, you are _really_ drunk."

"No really, I mean, the world could end tomorrow and it would never matter. Or tomorrow when we go to work I could get shot, or you could get shot, or we could both get shot, and then that's it."

"Yeah."

"So what would happen?"

"Honestly?" he looked down at her. She nodded. "Okay. I'd probably be the best sex you've ever had in your life." She giggled. "And then you wouldn't be able to concentrate at work around me anymore, and we'd fuck something up big-time and then I'd get shipped back to LAPD."

"You promise?"

Deeks rolled his eyes. "Wow, you really know the way to a man's heart." He rubbed her side with his thumb and rested his head atop hers. "It's a bad idea."

"So you're picking the job over me then? Can't say it's the first time it's happened."

"No Kensi, I'm putting you before me or the job. Trust me, tomorrow you're going to regret even having this conversation."

"I already do," she said sadly. "But thankfully I probably won't remember it."

Deeks chuckled and pushed away from the car with his foot, pulling his keys out again. "That's definitely a good thing. But unlucky for you, I will _never _forget it."


	9. Near Miss

Cuddles/Hugs meme: Near-Miss. This is a post-ep to 1x20, Fame.

Yeah I don't own it.

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><p>"So, you're going undercover tonight? That's kind of short notice," Kensi asked, driving her Cadillac back to the Mission. She glanced to the passenger seat where her very temporary partner sat, staring out the window as she drove. "Deeks?"<p>

"Huh? Yeah, no, short notice, not really, like I said, we've been trying to put this together for a while." Deeks pursed his lips and turned his head towards Kensi. "It's a really deep cover. Deeper than my last one anyway."

Kensi snorted. "Well yeah, all you had was a drivers license. Even _I _could have made that crappy license on my computer."

"Wow, sorry LAPD doesn't have super badass computer geeks that can backstop somebody with the click of his heels," Deeks bristled.

Kensi was taken aback. Marty Deeks was still largely a mystery to her; she either knew him as a potential murderer or a goofy LAPD liaison that had been forced on them suddenly. "I, uh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by that…"

Deeks waved a hand at her. "It's not just you, but thanks for the reminder that my backstory is probably being created by, as you would put it, some girl with a computer."

"I'm sorry, some girl?!"

"Okay, some woman?"

"Wow, your communication skills are severely lacking, Deeks."

He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "What do you want me to say? That you're this awesome federal agent superhero who's obviously too good to be partnered with some plain ole cop like me?"

Kensi shook her head and jutted her jaw out. "Superhero. I'll take that as a compliment. And I said I was sorry about my comment this morning."

"I'm over that."

"Obviously not."

Deeks groaned. "Have you ever gone deep undercover?"

"No."

"Well, it's not easy. It's hard as hell, and I'm damn good at it." He paused, knowing he was going to regret the next thing to come out of his mouth. "Better than you are."

Kensi's eyes grew wide and she slowed the car down, pulling into a shopping center parking lot. She put the car in park and removed her seatbelt, swiveling in her seat to face Deeks. "Would you care to elaborate on that statement?"

He mimicked her, removing his seatbelt and sunglasses so he could look her in the eyes. "The Zuna case. I didn't believe you for one second."

"Well, everybody else did," she said defensively.

Deeks shook his head. "That's not my point. What if I wasn't the undercover cop, and I really was a bad guy, and you were stuck in Zuna's house with me. What would you have done?"

Kensi shrugged. "I wouldn't change a thing."

"So, you still would have tried to seduce me?"

She balked. "What?!"

He tilted his head at her. "That's what you were about to do before Callen conveniently showed up to rescue you."

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Maybe."

"So just how far would you go to sell your cover?"

"As far as I had to," she said seriously.

"And if I had gone along with it?" Deeks asked.

"Doesn't matter now."

"That's not an answer."

"And that's not a question."

"Well," he said, licking his lips. "I guess I'm just wondering what I would have missed out on."

"Well, I guess I would have had to shoot you," Kensi answered, faking a smile.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

Kensi scrunched her face. "No. Why would you think that?"

Deeks shrugged. "Just seeing the way you interact with everybody else versus me. It's different." He squints at her. "Maybe you don't like that I can see through you. Or _maybe_, you _do_ like it."

Kensi smiled, scooting closer to his seat and casually running her hand up his thigh. "Maybe you're right."

His eyes grew wide and he glanced down at her hand. "Uhh, what are you doing?"

She pulled her hand away and slid back into her seat, putting the car back into drive. "Selling my cover."

Deeks laughed. "Touché."

Kensi was quite proud of herself. She pulled the Cadillac back onto the main road and headed back to drop Deeks off. "You're just mad that I didn't actually touché anything."

Deeks shook his head and refastened his seatbelt. "I can't even begin to figure out what that means."

She turned her music up and beat her hands to the rhythm on the steering wheel as she drove. She wouldn't admit to him (or herself), but she was concerned for his safety on his long-term undercover mission. She nonchalantly asked him, "So you'll call us when case is solved?"

Deeks stared out the window again, taking in the late afternoon Los Angeles scenery. "I told you. I'll be back."


	10. HurtComfort

Prompt from Cuddles/Hug meme: Densi - Hurt/Comfort. I think this was supposed to be serious, but I kinda found it funny? I don't know. Rated M for language only. This is set in the future.

I own nothing. Except my brain. And that's a scary place.

* * *

><p>"I don't have a shot," Callen says from the left.<p>

"Me neither," Sam echoes from the middle.

"I'm close, but still no shot," Deeks says from the right, hiding behind a tree.

All four teammates hear Hetty in their earbuds. "We need this suspect taken _alive_, gentlemen."

"I need my partner alive more, Hetty," Deeks responds.

They're all in a standoff with a rogue Marine, Joshua Reid, in a public park. They had a plan in place: surround Reid from all four sides and try to disarm him. The plan failed, and he now has a hostage to prove it: Kensi.

"I'm going to say this again!" Callen shouts. "Drop your weapon, let her go, and we all walk out of here and talk!"

"Hell no. I let her go and I'm a dead man!" Reid shouts back.

"Guys…" Kensi whispers. "I don't think he's kidding…"

"Somebody's got to take a shot," Sam says. "It is _not_ gonna be me, all I can see is Kensi. Deeks?"

Deeks clenches his jaw, aiming his weapon. He's looking at the Marine's leg, which is just barely exposed. "I might have a small window…"

"Take it Deeks," he hears his partner through his earwig. He shakes his head.

"Take the shot, Deeks," Callen orders.

Deeks closes his eyes and holds his breath for a brief second. _God, just keep me steady_. He opens his eyes again, aiming for the miniscule amount of khaki he can see behind his partner's leg. He exhales, and shoots.

Reid and Kensi both scream and fall to the ground. "Shit!" Deeks mutters as he runs towards them. He thinks he can hear Callen and Sam calling Eric for medical personnel, but his pounding heart and rapid breathing as he runs drowns them out.

"Shit shit shit, Kensi, did I hit you? Oh my God…" Deeks picks up Reid's gun, securing it in his pants. The Marine is moaning and holding his thigh. "Shut up!" Deeks yells at the man as he kneels down by his partner. "Kensi, say something."

Callen and Sam arrive in time to see Kensi roll over onto her stomach and groan. The back of her jeans is covered in blood. "Oh my God, Kensi, shit, oh my God," Deeks keeps muttering.

"Where is she hit?" Sam asks, crouching on her other side.

"I don't know, there's so much blood, shit," Deeks keeps shaking his head. He reaches around the front of Kensi's jeans to unbutton them and he feels her tense up.

"Don't even think about," she says, muffled by the ground.

"I need to see where you're hit, I've gotta stop the bleeding, oh my God I'm so sorry."

"Shut it Deeks. I'm going to be fine," she grits out. She winces and tries to push herself up on her knees, failing to do so.

"Fine? I shot you! Where did it…"

"You shot me in the fucking ass, Deeks," Kensi says calmly.

"Ohhhh…" All three male members of the team say in unison.

"Damn," Callen mutters to his partner. "She's never gonna let him live this one down." Sam closes his eyes and shakes his head in agreement.

Deeks is still feeling over her body, trying to find the bullet wound. Sam and Callen share a glance and start backing away slowly, turning their attention to their injured suspect. "Kens, please, let me try to stop the bleeding," he pleads.

Kensi nods, not lifting her head up from the ground. Deeks unfastens her jeans and pulls them down a few inches, looking for the entry wound. "I see it. Damn."

"What?"

He pulls his black t-shirt off, rolling it up and pressing it against her wound. "It went straight through your tattoo."

"You really think I care about a tattoo right now Deeks?"

"No, I'm just saying…I don't know what I'm saying. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine."

Deeks sighs and lies down with his chest flush against her side, keeping pressure on her wound. "I'm sorry."

"You already said that," she responds, turning her head to face him. She forces a smile but Deeks can see the pain in her face. He brushes her hair behind her ear and leans over, kissing her cheek. "And it could have been worse."

He kisses her nose. "How is that? I shot you. We have reached a whole new low in our relationship slash partnership here."

"Well, _that guy_ could have shot me instead. Then I'd be dead."

He smiles, kissing her lips. "Good point. I'm going to make this up to you, I promise."

They can hear sirens approaching in the distance. Kensi closes her eyes, sighing. "You're damn right you're going to make this up to me. I'm talking massages…"

"Done."

"Not just sexy massages, I want my feet."

"Ew."

"You shot me."

"Okay, feet," Deeks laughs. "What else?"

"Cakes, cookies, pies, the whole shooting match. No pun intended."

"Homemade?"

Kensi nods her head, trying to stay awake. "Homemade."

"Done. Anything else? Kens, stay awake, they're almost here."

"Uh huh. Yeah, all the stuff. I want all the stuff."

Deeks sees the paramedics running through the park with two gurneys in hand; Sam and Callen are waving them over to their location. "Help is here." He stands up to get out of the paramedics way. "You still love me, right?"

"Yeah, I still love you. Asshole."

Deeks chuckles. "Now _that's_ a funny joke, Kens."


	11. Bear Hug

Cuddles/Hugs Meme - Prompt from Mockingjaylane: Densi/Bear-hug. This is a sequel of sorts to "Clinging", set in between 2x17 and 2x18.

I still own nothing.

* * *

><p>Kensi and Deeks were in her Cadillac outside of his apartment, sitting in somewhat comfortable silence. Deeks looked suspiciously at his partner. "I never told you where I lived."<p>

Kensi shrugged and opened her door. "Didn't have to. We pulled the video footage of the area after you were shot."

"Ah," Deeks winced, climbing slowly out of the car. "That's not at all creepy. My friendly neighborhood NCIS stalkers." Kensi grabbed his personal belongings from her hatch and met him at his door to help him. She tried to wrap her arm around him to help him walk but he waved her off. Instead she pulled his keys out and walked ahead of him to unlock his apartment.

"You know you didn't have to bring me home, right? I'm not so pathetic that I don't have any friends." Deeks smiled weakly.

"It's the least I could do," Kensi said, returning his smile. She unlocked his door and peered in, looking for a light switch. Light filled the room and she took a second to survey his apartment. It was neat and sparse, with very few personal touches to it.

"Don't get used to this place. I won't be here much longer," Deeks said, grimacing as he sat on his couch. "So what did you mean by 'it's the least you could do?'"

Kensi kept standing. She couldn't figure out whether to sit by him on the couch, or sit on the floor, or pull up a chair from his table. So she just stood. "You know. I owe you."

"Yeah you do," Deeks chuckled. "Let me count the ways. Saved you from a room of laser bombs? Check. Took your drunk ass home a week ago? Check. Got shot to draw you out, then saved your life again? Double check."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I get it. There will come a day when you'll need me too, ya know." Deeks sat silently, Kensi stood awkwardly. "So," she said, breaking the silence. "What did you think about?"

He looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"When you got shot. What did you think about?"

"Oh. Well for starters I regretted not taking you up on your offer," he joked.

Kensi's face paled slightly and she tilted her head. "What offer?"

Deeks flinched slightly and lied to her. "The other night when you were drunk. I think you really enjoyed that bikini bar, cause you offered to give me a private dance. But I was a total gentlemen and told you no stripteases until our five year anniversary."

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. You're lying."

"I am," he replied, but didn't offer anything else.

Kensi pursed her lips and looked around the room. "Can I see your comic books?"

Raising his eyebrows, Deeks pointed to a chest in the corner of his living room. "Be my guest."

She quickly walked to the corner and sat down in front of the chest. "Wow," she gasped as she opened it. He had more than just comic books; there were playing cards, action figures, an original Nintendo with Super Mario Brothers 3, and everything else any child of the 80s would have cherished. She smiled as she sorted through all of his childhood memories, flipping through his books and magazines. "Seventeen Magazine? Really Deeks?"

"What? It has Jennifer Love Hewitt on the cover. She was smoking hot."

Kensi thought he looked slightly uncomfortable and dazed, but he didn't stop her from invading his privacy. She put the magazine back in the chest and noticed a framed picture of a woman holding a little boy. Pulling it out, she glanced between her partner and the picture. "Is this you?" She asked, pointing at the little boy.

Snapping out of his daze, Deeks looked over at her. His face falls when he sees the picture. "Uh, yeah."

"And your mom?"

"Yeah," he replied, clearing his throat.

Kensi looked down at the picture and smiled. "She's very pretty."

"Yeah, she was."

She didn't want to overstep her bounds, so she placed the picture back in the chest on top of his books and magazines. "Do you want some water? Is it time to take your pain pills?"

Deeks nodded. "Yeah. I think I'm about ready for a nap."

Kensi walked into his kitchen, filling a glass with water and pulling his medicine out. He was struggling to stay upright when she walked back to him. She handed him the water and pills and he downed the whole glass in one gulp. "Are you going to be okay here by yourself?"

He nodded, smiling up at her. "I'll be fine. I'm a big boy."

Kensi took his glass from him and set it down on the table. She didn't know why, but she couldn't stop herself from leaning down and pulling him into a big hug. "I'm really glad you didn't die," she said.

Deeks relaxed in her arms and patted her on the back with one hand. "Me too."

She let him go and stood up straight, smoothing down her shirt. Deeks repositioned himself on the couch, laying flat and putting a pillow under his head. He was asleep within seconds.

Kensi walked quietly away from him and returned to his chest. She pulled the picture of his mother out, placed it on the bookcase next to the chest, and left.


	12. White Ghost

Drabble prompt: Deeks finds out that Jack is the White Ghost from ErinChristmasElvis. Happy Birthday! (or unhappy birthday?)

* * *

><p>"Don't shoot," Kensi says calmly to her team.<p>

Deeks glances at her for a split second before focusing back on the target at hand. "Kens, I don't know if you noticed, but you are strapped to a chair and this guy has an automatic rifle pointed at us." He glances in her direction again. "You good?"

Kensi nods and swallows deeply. "Please, don't shoot. We need to take him back alive."

Callen shakes his head. "No we don't."

The man in front of them still hasn't spoken. He looks to be in his thirties, tall and dark haired; not exactly what the three men were expecting when they found the infamous White Ghost. However, he still has his weapon raised, rotating his aim between Deeks, Callen, and Sam.

"Are you American?" Sam asks.

The man looks in Sam's direction. "I am."

"Okay." Sam is calm and focused as usual. "Then how about you drop your weapon and we can talk about things?"

"We have nothing to talk about," the man says calmly, moving closer to Kensi. Deeks visibly tenses and re-aims his gun. "I _am_ curious about how you found us, though. Impressive. Did you kill all of my men?"

"Yep," Callen responds.

"Look man, you've got two options here. Put the gun down and we all walk out of here alive…or we shoot you. You've got 60 seconds to decide," Sam warns.

"No," Kensi says, struggling to get free from her chair.

"50 seconds."

"Let her go," Deeks says firmly.

The man smiled. "I think you know I can't do that."

"40 seconds…"

"Put…your gun…down," Callen says through gritted teeth.

"Please," Kensi pleads, closing her eyes.

"Kens…" Deeks says softly.

"30 seconds."

Narrowing his eyes at Deeks, the man steps closer to Kensi again, aiming his rifle in his direction. Deeks meets his eyes and aims his weapon at the man's head. "If you hurt her, I won't wait 20 seconds to kill you."

"Stop! Just put your damn gun down!" Kensi screams, thrashing in her chair.

The man turns towards Kensi; all Deeks can see is the rifle now pointed towards her. There is a loud crack as Deeks fires, hitting the White Ghost square between the eyes. Blood sprays Kensi's face before her captor falls to the ground.

She blinks rapidly, stunned. Deeks, Sam, and Callen rush over to her to start untying her from her chair.

"It's over Kens, everything's gonna be okay," Deeks says, rubbing her cheek as she stares straight ahead.

"Jack," she says numbly.

Deeks tilts his head at her, working on her leg restraints. "It's Deeks. Your partner. And Sam and Callen. It's over. We're gonna take you home."

Kensi shakes her head. "Jack. He was the White Ghost." She looks at Deeks. "You killed him."

Reverting his gaze back to her restraints, Deeks doesn't respond. He slumps down on the ground, unbuckling her last strap. Pulling her down into his lap from her chair, he wraps his arms around her. She buries her head in between his neck and shoulders and he strokes her hair, reassuring her. "It's okay, Kens. It's gonna be okay," he whispers. He hates having to lie to her.


	13. Valentine's Day

Prompt from vmreborn on Tumblr: Fluffy Densi Valentine's Day, preferably with Kensi eating a lot of chocolate. :)

I don't own any of it. So sad.

* * *

><p>"I'm really sorry," Deeks said, unlocking the door to his apartment.<p>

Kensi dismissed him with her hand. "Please, it's not a big deal. I've got beer and the biggest box of chocolates I've ever seen in my life. What else could a girl want?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Uh, a candlelit dinner at the most expensive restaurant in the city? Romantic walk on the moonlit beach? Making love on said beach because you're so turned on by your smoking hot girlfriend that you can't wait until you get home to ravage her?" He paused and pursed his lips. "Wait sorry, that's what I wanted for Valentine's Day."

Kensi held up their six-pack in one hand and her chocolate in the other. "Beer. Big ass box of chocolates. And if you're still hungry after you ravage me on your twenty year old couch that has enough sand in it to actually _be_ a beach, you have ice cream in the freezer."

Deeks chuckled as he opened two beers and sat down on the couch next to Kensi. This Valentine's Day, their first as a real couple, had been ruined by work, of course. A major case came in that morning and they had to work late, missing their reservations for dinner. Kensi didn't seem bothered at all about having to trade lobster and wine for chocolate and beer. In hindsight, that probably should have been his plan all along.

He remembered their first Valentine's Day as partners, when Kensi walked in moping as she shoved chocolate truffles in her mouth. Deeks boasted that he had a hot date that night and teased her about a secret admirer that obviously didn't exist but still managed to buy her favorite chocolates for her. "I hate you sometimes," she responded.

Their second Valentine's Day as partners, Deeks bought her chocolate and a teddy bear. Kensi rolled her eyes at him. "This is Christmas candy and a teddy bear with a Santa hat," she said as she opened her chocolate. Deeks smiled and pointed to the 75% off sticker on her gifts. She laughed and put a piece of chocolate in her mouth. "That's fine, I didn't want you to be my Valentine anyway."

Neither of them mentioned potential dates on their third Valentine's Day. When Kensi arrived at work that morning, there was a box of candy on her desk. Nobody would admit to placing it there, but she knew it was him. That night they sat on his couch and watched the movie _Valentine. _"I love a good slasher flick," she said as she kicked her shoes off and got comfortable. "This is nice."

The memory of their fourth Valentine's Day wasn't so pleasant. Deeks bought a small stuffed puppy and a giant solid chocolate heart. He took a picture of her gift and texted it to her with the caption 'waiting for you when you get home.'" He felt like throwing up until she finally wrote back a day later. 'I miss you.'

And now, they were here, together. The road to his couch hadn't been easy, but it had been worth it. Kensi noticed him staring at her and cocked her head. "What's going on in that head of yours? Still thinking about the beach?"

He shook his head and smiled. "Just thinking that you have chocolate all over your face. And that this is the best Valentine's Day I've ever had."

She returned his smile and wiped the clean side of her face with the back of her hand. "Me too. Did I get it all?"

"Not even close." Grabbing her by the waist Deeks pulled her into his lap. She fought him playfully but relented quickly, straddling him and running her hands through his hair. He wiped her face with his hand and pulled her gently to him for a kiss. She tasted like chocolate, caramel, coconut, and heaven. Attempting to talk between kisses, he asked her, "Would it be too cliché…"

"No," she interrupted, kissing him again.

"I love you."

Kensi pulled away from him and blinked her eyes quickly. "I…I love you too." She grinned widely. "Took you long enough."


	14. Black Polo Shirt

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Kensi did her best to hide her true feelings and lied to her partner very easily. "I really don't like that shirt on you." It was a big fat lie. She loved his new shirt, a fitted black polo, and had been staring at him all day because of it. "In fact, the nineties called a few minutes ago, they said they want it back."

He gave her a cocky grin, looking directly in her eyes. "Really? You sure about that?"

She met his gaze, maintaining her cover as a completely not turned on at the moment woman. "Positive. I think it would look better in a dumpster." Or on her floor. "You're really familiar with dumpsters, right?"

Deeks grunted, accepting defeat in this particular verbal sparring match. When they parted ways at the end of the day, Kensi breathed a sigh of relief. Obviously it had been a very long time since she had been intimate with a man if she was drooling over Deeks. She shuddered at the thought and drove home, blasting her music at illegal sound levels to try to pound the desire out of her body.

The shirt mysteriously disappeared for two years, until his first day back at work after his torture. Desperate to get out of his god-awful hipster clothes, Deeks opened her spare tire compartment and pulled out a bag of clothes for both of them. They changed quickly in the bathroom of a gas station nearby, and Kensi nearly cried when she saw the shirt he was wearing; it was the black polo shirt that she told him she hated, and he in turn relegated to a last-ditch backup shirt. Because he thought she hated it.

Composing herself, Kensi stood tall and faced her feelings instead of burying them. "Nice shirt."

Deeks smiled knowingly. "Thanks."


	15. Scar

Kensi dried off the last plate and put it in the cupboard, turning around to stare at Deeks. "So I was thinking-"

"Frightening in and of itself," he interrupted, pouring out the remainder of that morning's coffee into the sink.

"Ha ha," Kensi said, making a goofy face. "No really, I was thinking about something you said a while back. About your ass."

Standing at attention, Deeks took a pause from his cleaning. "Listening."

"You said you have a scar. I've never seen it."

Chuckling, Deeks returned to cleaning his carafe. "Who's fault is that?"

Kensi waved her dishtowel at him. "Drop 'em."

"Now?"

"Yes, now."

Deeks pursed his lips before turning off the water and turning around to face his partner slash new but not quite so new girlfriend. He wiped his hands on his jeans before looping his finger in his belt, unfastening it. "Just so we're clear, are we-"

"Not in the kitchen, Deeks."

He frowned slightly as he popped open the button to his jeans and unzipped them. They fell to his ankles with a thud and a jingle, leaving him only in his boxer shorts. "Okay, I'm just not sure we're in that place yet in our relationship. I mean, yeah, doing dishes seems really domestic, but I don't know if we're ready for non-sexy naked."

"Oh shut up," Kensi said, grabbing him by the hips as she flipped him around.

"Wow. You sure about that not in the kitchen thing? Cause this could be fun."

Kensi ignored him, yanking his boxers down. She took an extra second to admire him before she started inspecting thoroughly. She squinted and tilted her head. "I don't see anything."

Deeks twisted his head around to look at her. "It's an ass, Kensalina, and from what you've told me, a very nice one."

"I don't see a scar, dumbass."

"Nice."

"Seriously."

"Seriously?" He asked, turning around to pull his pants up. "There's no scar."

She rolled her eyes. "You lied? About an ass scar?"

"In my defense," he said, flashing her a grin, "I was trying to impress you."

"Really."

"It made you blush, and you remembered it. I'd say it worked." Pushing off the counter, Deeks walked to the refrigerator and opened it, leaning in for a beer. Kensi spun her dishtowel into a tight spiral and released it, popping him squarely in one one of the back pockets of his jeans. He jumped, rubbing his ass. "Ow! What was that for?"

Kensi grinned, backing slowly out of the kitchen. "I'm sorry. You think that left a mark?"

Deeks wiggled his eyebrows at her, following her out of the kitchen. "Only one way to find out."


	16. Lies

Because ifiknowyouatall noticed that Callen owns a shirt identical to the one Kensi wore in Frozen Lake.

* * *

><p>"This stack: done," Deeks said, popping his lips as he filed away a pile of paperwork. "Next stack-" he paused, hearing the familiar banter of the senior agents in his unit. He raised an eyebrow at Sam's morning nagging routine. "To be continued."<p>

"So what you're saying is, you're not going to see her again? Because she's too normal? Come on, G."

"All I'm saying is, she deserves somebody that isn't always lying to her," Callen explained, turning the corner into the bullpen with his partner. "Morning Deeks."

"What's up Deeks," Sam greeted him, clapping him on the back.

"Gooood morn-"Deeks stopped speaking mid-word, feeling the color drain out of his face when he looked at his team leader. "Is this a joke?" he asked, pointing to Callen's shirt.

Sam narrowed his eyes, looking back and forth between his team members. Callen looked at his gray button down shirt, perplexed, pulling it away from his chest. "Am I missing something?"

Deeks cleared his throat nervously, looking back down at his paperwork. "It's nothing. I just…my mind is playing tricks on me, I guess. So, this teacher of yours, she's too good for you, yeah?"

"No," Sam answered for his partner. "G is, ironically, just not comfortable living a lie. Apparently."

"Yeah." Deeks glanced suspiciously up at Callen's shirt again. "Yeah no. I agree."

"Thank you, Deeks." Callen shot a smug look at his partner.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Deeks excused himself from the bullpen and walked over to the window by their lockers. He pulled up his photo album on his phone and started flipping through it, trying to find the last set of pictures he took with Kensi before she left for Afghanistan. Stopping at a photo of the team playing basketball in the gym, he focused in on the two of them. His arm was wrapped around her shoulder and they both looked happy, not knowing in short time the trials they were going to face. Sneaking a peak back at Callen for a second, he compared the shirt he was wearing with the shirt Kensi was wearing in the photo. They were almost identical.

Smiling sadly, he typed a text message to his partner:

"Hey Kens. I must really miss you cause I swore Callen came to work today in one of your shirts. I know it's not possible cause you've burned that damn thing by now, right? Be safe."

Unbeknownst to him, he was being watched closely by Sam and Callen. "What do you think he's doing?" Sam asked.

Callen pursed his lips. "Struggling to live his lie, if I had to guess. He's not very good at hiding it." He turned to look at his partner. "And if he thinks it's hard now, wait till she gets back."

Nodding, Sam turned away from Deeks and started walking up to Ops. "Trust me, I know." He paused on the stairs, waiting for his partner. "What is the deal with your shirt anyway, man?"

Callen shrugged. "I have no idea. I stole it from the dressing area like, 2 years ago."

Sam shook his head and rolled his eyes. "That is sad, G. That is really sad."

"Is it ugly?"

"Yes."

"Think I should return it?"

"I think you should put it out of it's misery."


	17. Circus

Prompt from Tumblr: Sam and Michelle take their kid(s) to the circus.

* * *

><p>"Can we go yet?" Sam flinched as a clown walked by, hugging his daughter's giant stuffed teddy bear close to his chest.<p>

"Sack up, Sam, it's just a damn clown," Michelle chided him.

"I. Don't. Like. Clowns."

Michelle sighed and rolled her eyes at him. "Fine. Go find baby girl and we'll go home."

Sam smiled and took a bite of Michelle's cotton candy. "Thank you baby. Where are the kids, anyway?"


	18. Granger

Prompt from Tumblr: Granger catches Kensi talking on her sat phone.

* * *

><p>"So then, I was like yippie ki-yay mother-"<p>

"I get it, Deeks," Kensi interrupted him, laughing.

"You know you miss me," Deeks teased in a low voice.

Kensi smiled and dropped her head into her palm. "Yeah. I do miss you." She froze, hearing the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her. Turning around slowly, she grimaced at the site of Assistant Director Granger staring at her. She met his steely gaze, refusing the be the first to acknowledge the awkward situation.

Narrowing his eyes, Granger pointed to her satellite phone. "Hetty?"

"No."

"Then who is so important, that you have to speak to them when you're supposed to be prepping our weapons for our trip?"

Kensi smiled sweetly at him and lied. "My mother. She has been ill."

Raising an eyebrow, Granger held his hand out to her. "May I speak with her?"

She felt the color drain out of her face and she could hear a light groan from the speaker of her phone as she handed it to Granger. Never taking his eyes off of her, he put the phone to his ear. "Julia. How are you doing?"

Deeks coughed loudly, plugged his nose, and raised his voice. "Sick. The flu. It's so good to hear your voice, Owen. You're taking good care of my girl, aren't you?"

Smirking, Granger replied sweetly. "Of course. Feel better soon." He handed the satellite phone back to Kensi, who snatched it eagerly.

"Happy?" Kensi asked, forcing a smile.

"Ecstatic," Granger replied sarcastically. "Gear up in five, Agent Blye."

"Yes sir," she said as he turned to walk back to camp. She exhaled into the phone in relief.

"Oh, Agent Blye, one more thing," Granger stopped and faced her again. "Tell your detective his undercover skills never fail to impress."


	19. Back Hair

Prompt from Tumblr: Densi. Kensi's chaetophobia is acting up during a case, Deeks can't fight his amusement.

* * *

><p>"Oh no." Kensi paused momentarily as she approached her target by the poolside cabana. "No no no."<p>

"Damn," Deeks chuckled as he slid into a lounge chair by the pool. "You gonna be okay? That's a lotta of back hair, Kens."

"I see that," Kensi said through gritted teeth, walking slowly towards the very large man in a very small speedo by the pool bar. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Just a hug and a spray, that's all you need." Deeks lowered his sunglasses to peer at Kensi's target; a Colombian salesman they suspected to be importing and exporting more than just coffee. "Try not to get your hands tangled up in that mess."

"Don't force me to make a detour over there to kick your ass, Deeks," Kensi threatened, adjusting her bikini top to accentuate her assets.

"I mean, this guy has back pubes!"

"No no no. I can't do this."

"He looks like he's got buckwheat in a headlock, too."

"Shut your ass, Deeks," Kensi whispered angrily.

Deeks groaned loudly. "Ugh, maybe you ought to give him the number to your bikini waxer, too."

"I'm literally going to walk over there and throw up on you." Kensi stopped just short of the large hairy man to compose herself before greeting him. "Poppy, it's so good to see you! It's been so long!" She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and suppressed a dry heave while misting his neck with tracking spray.

The Colombian salesman pushed her away and stared at her approvingly, grasping her by the waist. She balked, shoving his hands away from her. "You're not Poppy! Get your hands off of me!" Turning her back on him, she stalked away towards her partner.

Deeks couldn't contain his grin as Kensi snatched him up by his arm and dragged him away from the pool. "I hate you," she snarled.

"You love me," he batted back.

"Seriously reconsidering that."

"Oh come on! How is this in any way worse than the goulag?" He argued, still grinning.

Kensi scrunched her face, not wanting to admit he was right, as slammed her sandals on the concrete. "Just take me back to work. I need a shower."

"Do you want some company?"

"NO."

"Hey, I think you have a back pube on you."

"Oh my God."

"Just kidding." Deeks wrapped his arm around her waist protectively and pulled her close, whispering in her ear. "Sorry babe. Every guy can't be as smooth as me."


	20. Beach

Prompt from Tumblr: Kensi and Deeks on the beach.

* * *

><p>"I'm nervous. What if she gets eaten by a shark?" Kensi wrung her hands in worry.<p>

"Seriously?" Deeks asked, stretching his legs out in the sand. "We're at the beach. We're supposed to be visiting Chillville, not Panic Town."

"But this is her first time-"

"I know," he responded, grabbing her hands and stroking it with his thumb. "It'll be fine."

"What if she can't swim?"

"She'll be fine."

Kensi sighed. "I know. I'm just new at this. I'm going to spaz a little bit, and you're just going to have to deal with it."

"I know how to deal with you, Kens. Now can we please relax and enjoy our family time?"

Nodding, Kensi relaxed in the sand, staring out at the Pacific Ocean. She held her tongue for about five minutes before she had another outburst. "Okay, well what about all the sand? What if we can't get all of it out of her hair, and everywhere she goes she looks like Pig-Pen?"

Deeks rolled his eyes and stood up, dragging Kensi with him. He pulled her down to the water, where Monty was teaching their new puppy Millie how to properly dig holes in the sand. Tossing her over his shoulder, much to her protest, he ran into the water with their dogs in tow.

He tossed Kensi into the ocean and Millie was the first to go in after her, puppy ears and tail flapping away as she tried to swim. Laughing at her new baby, Kensi opened her arms wide and her puppy swam straight to her. Monty wagged his tail from the shallow water and barked happily.

"Okay fine, Deeks. You were right," Kensi said, kissing her smiling pooch.

Deeks smiled at her, wading water. "She's a great swimmer. Think we can get her a puppy surfboard?"

"No way," Kensi said. "One surfer in the house is bad enough."

Millie wiggled away from Kensi, swimming happily over to Deeks. He dog-paddled next to her as they swam in circles, with Monty barking and Kensi laughing. Smiling at his new puppy, Deeks shouted loud enough for Kensi to hear over the waves. "Don't worry baby girl. What mama don't know won't hurt her!"


	21. Airport

Prompt from Tumblr: Deeks and Kensi at the airport when she comes back

* * *

><p>A jolt, signaling the end of their flight's descent, startled Deeks from his sleep and brought him quickly back to his current reality. They were home; and they were alive. He looked down at his partner, body and mind so worn down and exhausted from her ordeal in the desert that she continued to sleep throughout the disruption of the plane's landing.<p>

She looked nothing like she did the last time he watched her sleep. That night she was happy and comfortable, sleeping with her arms wrapped around his forearm. Her hair tickled his arm continuously throughout the night, and he loved it. He never knew he could miss something so much after only having it once in his life.

Now, she looked different. Her face was pale and her cheeks sunken in. Even in her slumber her brow was furrowed with worry. Instead of hugging his arm, she was clutching his shirt like it was her lifeline. She was still the most beautiful site he'd ever seen in his life.

He knew he needed to wake her, but he was scared. Scared of how she would react now that life could go back to normal. Would life ever be back to normal for them? While she was asleep he could still pretend that she would ask to go home, with him, when they got off the plane. They would spend the night in each other's arms and allow their embrace to destroy all the evil that afflicted them. And in the morning, they would happy.

Kensi stirred and released his shirt, stretching her arms. This was it; the time for fantasies was over, and reality was about to set in. Deeks closed his eyes and said the same silent prayer as the night she left. "Please, God. Just bring her back to me."


	22. Vegas

Prompt: You're my family Kens, I don't need anybody else.

* * *

><p>"If we make it out of here alive Kens, you know what I want to do?"<p>

Kensi stopped struggling against her restraints and leaned her head back to try to look at her partner. "There's no if, it's when, Deeks. You're not helping, by the way."

"Would if I could." Deeks grimaced as he tried to bend his wrist to reach the knot of the rope that bound their wrists. His left arm had a superficial bullet wound, soaking his sleeve down to his watch. He wouldn't have been able to reach the knot even if he'd had two good hands. "Who uses rope anymore? I mean, really?"

"I was kidding, you know. Just be still and quit bleeding." Kensi sighed in resignation and slumped against Deeks' back. "So. What is it you want to do when we get out of here?"

"You. Me. Vegas." He bobbed his head backward to tap her on the head. "Married."

Kensi laughed. "Are you serious?"

"Deadly."

"Okay…so this is my proposal then? No ring, no knee, and hey, you didn't even really ask me."

Deeks tried to intertwine his fingers with hers, squeezing weakly. "If we get out of here, I'll do the whole thing. You want a ring? I'll get you a ring."

"I don't really want a ring. How about a Tiffany Glock instead?"

"An engagement gun? That's my girl." He squeezed her fingers again. "So we're doing this, yeah? We're going to Vegas?"

Kensi smiled and squeezed his fingers back. "I won't say yes till I'm actually asked. But okay. What about our family and friends though? Won't they be pissed if we elope?"

"You're my family, Kens. I don't need anybody else. Besides, we can throw a party when we get back and tell all of them then. It'll blow their minds."

Kensi chuckled, trying to ignore the fact that the voices outside of their room were getting louder and louder. "It's a plan. If we make it out of here, we're doing you-me-Vegas-married."

"I thought you said when we get out earlier."

"You said if we get out earlier."

"Kensi, you just said you'd marry me. God himself couldn't keep me from from breaking out of here."

The sound of gunshots interrupted Kensi before she could respond to him. They both tensed and squeezed their fingers together. Closing their eyes, they leaned back against each other to wait for either their inevitable demise or rescue.

"You know I love you, right?" Kensi asked with worry in her voice.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do." Deeks sighed. "I love you, too."


	23. Just Okay

It had been 20 hours, 14 minutes, and 58 seconds since Deeks had last uttered any words in her direction.

Brushing a strand of dirt encrusted hair from her face, he'd looked in her eyes and asked simply, "Are you okay?" When she nodded yes, he hoisted her weak body in his arms and ran after the rest of the mission extraction team back to their vehicles. He stared at her silently during their ride in the Humvee, afraid if he tore his eyes off of her she would disappear again. The longer he sat in silence, the clearer the situation became to him.

He knew his partner inside and out, probably better than anybody else on the planet. So when they infiltrated the cave where her captors had been hiding her and he came face to face with The White Ghost himself, all the pieces of the puzzle started to fall together perfectly in his mind. Deeks recognized the man instantly.

Kensi had destroyed all of her former fiancée's pictures but one. She kept it in a kitchen drawer under a pair of shears; when Deeks found it accidentally early in their partnership he just assumed she was awaiting the necessary courage to cut the last piece of him out of her life. That picture crossed his mind several times while she was on her assignment; he had hoped she would finally be able to put the past behind her and destroy it when she came home.

She'd allowed herself to be captured on purpose, and he knew it without ever asking her. The sadness and regret in her eyes had confirmed it for him. When the Humvee reached base camp again and the medical team rushed her away for evaluation, Deeks sunk to his knees on the cold ground and laid his forehead in the dirt. He knew tears were threatening to spill out, and he was too proud to let any of his team members witness it. Fear had turned to relief, then to sadness, and finally to anger as the whirlwind of emotions overtook him on the desert floor. He could hear Sam say, "Give him a few minutes" to someone, most likely Granger based on the grunt that followed.

When he had finally calmed down, Deeks composed himself and returned to the team as if nothing had happened. Sam gave him a knowing look, and he nodded in appreciation. After robotically going over the details of their rescue efforts in the debriefing, Deeks isolated himself until it was time to head to the airport. They met up with Kensi there, who'd been deemed healthy enough to fly home as long as she received medical attention the next day. Still, even seeing her cleaned up and dressed in normal clothes again, Deeks couldn't bring himself to speak to her. She sensed his anxiety and didn't push him, merely pleading with her eyes at him.

The sixteen-hour flight from Kabul to Los Angeles was nearly silent, save a few random snores throughout the night and morning. Kensi's Cadillac was waiting at the airport where Deeks had left it; he'd had complete faith at the beginning of their mission that he would either return to it with her in tow, or he wouldn't return at all. Her face lit up briefly at the site of her SUV and the small bit of normalcy it gave her.

Deeks drove to her apartment, playing the techno playlist he'd selected for her before he boarded the plane to Afghanistan. He unloaded their belongings, throwing most of her bags in the small closet that held her washer and dryer. They silently moved around her home, going through the motions as if they'd only just been on a short vacation together. When finally there was nothing left to distract either of them, Kensi stepped close to him and placed a hand gently on his chest.

"Are you going to say anything?" she asked, her voice weak and desperate.

Deeks looked down at his watch and frowned. He'd had exactly 20 hours, 14 minutes, and 58 seconds to figure out what he wanted to say to her and still couldn't compartmentalize the day's events enough to come up with anything. He raised his eyes to hers and they just looked at each other. Her eyes told him she was still scared and confused; his reflected a mixed bag of his relief at having her back safely and his anger for putting herself in that situation in the first place.

Not knowing what else to do, Deeks fell back on what was comfortable for them. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and she wrapped her around his waist, leaning her head into his chest. As he stroked her hair, he whispered over and over again. "You're okay. I'm just glad you're okay."


	24. Puppy

Prompt from aprylynn: Kensi and Deeks find a puppy while investigating a case and they have to take care of it until they find the owner.

* * *

><p>"Who's the cutest puppy, huh? You's the cutest puppy, that's right."<p>

Kensi grimaced at her partner, who was literally giving puppy dog kisses to the small hound puppy they'd found nosing around their crime scene earlier. "Deeks. Quit kissing the dog."

Deeks frowned at her and snuggled the little girl puppy in his lap. Ruffling the dog's ears, he whispered loudly, "She's just jealous."

Sighing, Kensi crossed the boatshed to take a seat next to Deeks. She rubbed her hand down back of the puppy, all the way to the tip of her tail. "I don't want you to get too attached."

"I'm not going to get too attached, Kens. She just needs some love and affection, that's all."

"Really?" Kensi's mouth dropped open. "You won't get too attached? You hit a squirrel with your motorcycle, took it to the vet, and then tried to keep it."

"In my defense," Deeks responded, holding a finger up. "It was a very cute squirrel. A bit of a biter, though." He looked down at the puppy, who was starting to doze off in his lap. "She's cute. And she's not micro-chipped. So what if I get attached?"

"She has a collar."

"With only a Rabies tag."

"And we're waiting on the veterinarian to call us back."

Deeks tilted his head, narrowing his eyes. "What are you so afraid of?"

Shrugging, Kensi continued petting the puppy, refusing to meet his eyes. "I'm not afraid of anything. I just think she deserves to find her home again, that's all."

"Uh huh."

"Yes, huh."

"Whatever you say."

"You're really annoying," Kensi told him, raising her eyes to meet his. "A puppy is a big commitment, Deeks."

"Are you saying you're not ready to make a commitment?" Deeks asked the question jokingly, but she saw the tiny twinge of hurt in his eyes.

Kensi leaned over the puppy to kiss Deeks on the cheek. "You know what I mean. This wouldn't be your puppy, or my puppy. It would be _our_ puppy. That's almost like having a kid." She closed her eyes and shuddered at the thought.

"Not quite," he responded, grinning at her. "But I think we're ready for it. The puppy, not the kid."

"See, this is what you always do! You're attached to her already," she chided. The puppy rolled over in Deeks' lap, wagging her tail. Kensi scratched her belly and the little dog started kicking a back leg uncontrollably.

Deeks placed his hand his hand over Kensi's, rubbing it with his thumb. "Yeah. I am definitely attached."


	25. Find Her

Prompt: Granger tells the Team via livestream that they lost contact with Kensi. I apologize for forgetting to post this here before Zero Days.

* * *

><p><p>

The tables had turned; Eric walked into Ops with his head held high, and Nell ran to meet him at the sliding doors with her arms wide open. "You're not allowed to leave Ops ever again, Beale." She pulled back away quickly and held him at arm's length, smiling proudly at him.

"He did good today," Deeks said, walking in behind Eric. "Not quite as badass as you yet, Velma, but he's getting there."

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna stay far away from guns for now, if that's okay," Eric responded, smiling at Nell. "And it's been a long day, so I can't wait to go home and play some videos games that _don't_ have any guns or death in them."

"Like what, Mrs. Pacman?" Deeks joked. The doors to Ops re-opened and Hetty walked in, with Sam and Callen in tow. "Hettyyyy, look, Eric is still alive. Barely."

Hetty crossed her hands in front of her and walked silently to the front of the room. Sam and Callen stayed where they were, close to Deeks. "I'm afraid the day is not over yet, Mr. Beale." She signaled to Nell to activate the big screen TV.

"What's going on?" Deeks asked, swallowing deeply.

Hetty met his eyes briefly before looking away. "Assistant Director Granger needs to speak with us. Ms. Jones?"

Nell nodded, fumbling with her tablet until Granger finally appeared on the screen.

"Where's Kensi?" Deeks asked immediately, tugging at the hem of his jacket nervously. Sam and Callen exchanged a worried look, each taking another step closer to their younger teammate.

"That's a good question, Detective," Granger replied gruffly. "We've been out of contact with Agent Blye for 24 hours now."

"What do you mean, out of contact?" Deeks' voice cracked. "You mean she's missing?" He cleared his throat. "Or that she's dead?"

"Deeks," Sam spoke in a low register. He tried to place a hand on the detective's shoulder but Deeks shied away from. "Keep cool, man." Deeks could only close his eyes and shake his head in disbelief.

"It means, Mr. Deeks," Hetty answered. "That we're going to go find her."


	26. Kicks

Prompt: Kensi is pregnant and Deeks feels the baby kicking for the first time.

* * *

><p>"I'm running out of time here, ya know," Deeks said, tapping on Kensi's large belly. She was laying on her side, sleeping nestled in between the curves of her pregnancy pillow. "By Mommy's calculations, you are supposed to break out of your baby cocoon in 4 days. If you're anything like her you'll come out asking for a twinkie and a beer."<p>

He placed his hand flat against her belly, waiting for any kind of movement. He felt nothing. "Come on, little guy," Deeks whispered. "Why won't you kick me? Because your mama kicks me enough already, yeah? I thought it was hard sleeping with her when she was tiny. Now she has this damn pillow taking up all of our space here, and I'm curled up in a ball like a dog at the foot of the bed." No movement.

"Okay, you don't wanna talk about Mommy. That's cool. What about the dogs?" Nothing. "We're not going to talk about guns, little dude. I don't want you to find out about those for a long, long time." Nothing. Deeks sighed, curling up as best as he could next to his wife. Everybody else they know had felt their still un-named little man kick but him. He blamed it partially on his new job and the fact that he was away from home so often now, and the rest of the blame fell on Kensi's stubborn genes that made up half of their little human. He really, really just wanted to feel it once, to foster their connection as father and son. It was silly and he knew it, but he couldn't help but worry and doubt his abilities to be a dad already. He wanted some sort of reassurance that his little boy knew he was there for him, even before he was born.

"We're gonna have a blast, you know. We'll do everything together; go to the park, the museum, the beach. I've already got a tiny little surfboard just waiting on you to get here." Deeks felt an odd feeling on Kensi's belly, like a hard round ball moving right under the surface of her skin. "Oh!" Deeks sat up and shook Kensi's shoulder, causing her to grunt. "He kicked me!"

"Whoopty-doo," Kensi grumbled. "And that wasn't a kick, that was his butt."

Shrugging, Deeks laid back down and rubbed circles along her stomach. "I'll take a butt kick. I'm used to it."

Kensi elbowed him lightly in the gut and he laughed. She laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand. "Go back to sleep."

He smiled and squeezed back. "Okay."

"Both of you."


	27. Here

It was 2:00 a.m. when Deeks finally pulled up to his apartment for the night. Working without a true partner for the last five months had increased everyone's workload, and no matter how hard they tried they couldn't manage to get rid of all the bad guys in the world. The paperwork was the worst; one less person to write up reports and deliver intel to the alphabet soup of agencies needing to know how and where the multitude of terrorists pouring into Los Angeles were planning to attack the country.

He was kidding himself by thinking the paperwork was the worst, though. No, the worst part was having his partner back, but not having her back. He knew immediately after they rescued her from her captors in Afghanistan that she just wasn't the same person he'd known for four years. Deeks hated that he understood why she was different. He was in no position to push her to open up to him, and respectfully backed away when she didn't answer her phone or respond to text messages for a couple of days. In the back of his mind, a fear remained that she would take as long as he did to come around; or that she wouldn't come around at all.

Unlocking his front door, Deeks walked into his apartment and the hairs on the back of his neck immediately stood up. Monty didn't greet him as usual, and the light to his bedroom had been turned off. He unholstered his weapon and cleared his apartment, starting with the living room and kitchen. Satisfied nothing had been disturbed there, he moved his attention to his bedroom. Creeping in quietly with his gun raised, he squinted in the dark to focus with the lights off. When he saw what was in his bed, he slowly lowered his weapon.

Kensi was fast asleep on the right side of his bed, with Monty curled up in the nook of her legs. Breathing a sigh of relief, he walked quietly over to his nightstand and released the magazine from his gun, placing both inside the drawer. He stripped his clothes off and dug through his drawers for an actual pair of pajama pants and a clean tee shirt to wear. Pulling back the covers, he climbed into bed as quietly as he could.

Kensi hadn't bothered to put on pajamas, or even pull her ponytail down. She was still fully clothed, save for her shoes. Sliding up next to her, he pulled the band out of her hair and let the loose curls cover the pillowcase. Much to his surprise, she actually looked peaceful, even snorting every few breaths.

Why is she here, he thought. She rustled slightly, and he hesitantly wrapped an arm around her waist and whispered, "Go back to sleep."

Kensi jumped, rolling over to face him. She blinked her bruised, puffy eyes but didn't speak. They laid in silence for a minute or two, just looking in each other's eyes until Deeks couldn't take it anymore. The longer he stared at her, the heavier his chest felt and the louder his heart pounded. Clearing his throat, he spoke softly. "So, I know you're good at picking locks but I never took you for a breaking and entering kind of-"

The soft press of her lips against his interrupted him. She pulled back as quickly as she'd fallen forward against him, but he followed her. His hands cupped her face as he kissed her back, not venturing farther than she did but allowing himself to linger a little longer. She sighed and shook her head when Deeks leaned his forehead against hers. "Why are you here, Kens?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I couldn't sleep, so I came here because...I have good memories here. I feel safe here."

Deeks smiled sadly at her. "Monty is a great watchdog, isn't he?"

"Yeah...Monty," Kensi replied, chuckling softly.

Nestling his head into the pillow Kensi had been sleeping on, Deeks gave her a serious look. "I'm here, ya know. For whatever you need."

"I know," she said, nodding. "But I just don't know what I need right now."

"Well, when you figure it out," he prodded gently. "You'll let me know?"

She nodded, closing her eyes again. Deeks wanted to ask her to change into one of his shirts to get more comfortable, but he didn't want her to think he was implying anything other than a sincere gesture. So he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to his chest, rubbing circles along her back. "Hey Kens?"

"Hmm?"

"It was really good to hear your little snorting again," he whispered, trying to make her laugh. Kensi didn't respond; she was already back asleep.


	28. Undone

Because Hetty is a little shit.

* * *

><p>Deeks knew that Hetty could feel his eyes on her from across the Mission. It's not like he was being subtle about it; he was just waiting for her to raise her head and acknowledge his glaring. He watched her take a sip of tea, flip through the pages of file (classified he's sure), close said file and place it in her desk, take another sip of tea, cross her hands on her desk, and finally turn her eyes to meet his.<p>

Pushing away from his desk, Deeks walked through the empty bullpen to stand in front of the tiny Operations Manager. "Working late, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked, straining her neck to look up at him.

"Yeah," he replied. "Waiting on Kensi. She's still finishing up a few things, paperwork from her uh, mission."

"I'm sure your partner appreciates that," she said, offering a tight smile.

"Partner..." Deeks said slowly, pursing his lips. "Is that what she is? Because last time I checked, we haven't _actually_ worked together in quite some time."

"Hmm," Hetty hummed to herself. "Is there something you'd like to get off your chest, Detective?"

"I'm not sure if you want to open that can of worms, Hetty."

Hetty sighed at him. "What do you want, then?"

Deeks crossed his arms over his chest. "I want my partner back."

"She's not ready-"

"_No_," Deeks interrupted her. "That's not what I'm talking about."

Hetty gestured for him to sit down, but he shook his head no.

"I want the partner back that I had a year ago, the strong Kensi that she used to be. Did you know that when I went to check on her after work two days ago, there was a fly in her apartment. So what did I do, I slammed my hand against the wall and killed it. And she practically jumped out of her skin, like she was afraid of me. She's still not herself."

"That's why she's not back in the field yet," Hetty rationalized. "These things take time."

"Time can't fix everything," Deeks said sadly. "It just gives you more shit bury the pain under."

When she cocked her head, Deeks thought that for once he saw a hint of emotion in her eyes. "Are you alright, Mr Deeks?"

"No," he responded, voice lower than usual. "No I'm not."

"Do you still blame yourself for this?"

Deeks laughed bitterly. "No, despite the fact that you've let me go on for months blaming myself, I see things a lot more clearly now."

"Good. I think." Hetty nodded her head, reaching for another file.

"I blame you," Deeks said numbly.

Hetty froze for a moment before clearing her throat. "You're not the only one."

"It's a little late for self-reflection, Hetty. Just like it's too late for apologies. Nothing you can say will undo the damage that you've done to her, that you've done to all of us."

"Tread lightly, Detective," Hetty warned.

"Why?" Deeks asked, leaning down against one of her antique chairs. "What are you going to do to? Send me back to LAPD? That thought has crossed my mind on more than one occasion. Separate me from my partner? That's already happened. Take away everything I love? Yeah, you already did that, too."

"You are unhappy here, obviously," Hetty replied. Her stoic face almost hid the sadness in her eyes. She made no move to stop his tirade anymore, as if she knew she deserved everything he was saying to her.

"I _love_ my job," he said emphatically. "What I don't love is the lies, and the secrets, and the utter bullshit that we have to deal with every day. I thought that we were friends, Hetty. I've always thought I could come to you with any problem and you would have my back. Now I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

"I'd like to think that you can still come to me, but I _am_ your boss. I have always been that first."

Deeks nodded his head slowly. "Our boss. Right. I miss those days. When you played the role of our boss, instead of playing fucking God with our lives." He regretted the words as soon as he said them, but there was no way to take them back.

Hetty's eyes grew wide and she opened her mouth, but no words immediately came out. She hung her head as if she were trying to process what she had just heard. "I...I spoke with Kensi today," she said with slight hesitation. "I apologized for misleading her about the details of her mission, and I believe she will forgive me."

"And the rest of us?" Deeks asked wearily. "You kept us all in the dark, put all of our lives in danger, and for what? Was there even a mission that related to NCIS in the first place?"

"There are a lot of things about this mission that go beyond even me." Hetty looked him directly in his eyes, for once showing the sadness and regret that she was feeling. "But I would like to ask your forgiveness as well."

Deeks heard bustling at the top of the stairs and turned his head to see Kensi heading down to the bullpen. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Hetty. I know what I said was out of line."

"No need to apologize. I would say I probably deserved it."

Smiling for just a second, Deeks nodded his head in agreement as Kensi approached Hetty's desk. His eyes lit up when she placed a hand on his arm. "You done for the day, Deeks?"

"Yeah. I was uh, waiting on you. Didn't know if you wanted to grab a bite to eat, maybe?" Deeks shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels.

Kensi motioned toward the exit. "I'd like that." She turned to look at Hetty. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, dear."

Deeks and Kensi walked out side by side just like they did before he didn't take the shot, before promises they haven't had a chance to keep, and before classified missions to Afghanistan. He nudged her shoulder gently with his own. "It's good to have you back."

Kensi smiled at him. "It's good to be back."


	29. The Box

Prompt: Deeks gives Kensi her knife back.

* * *

><p>It was one o'clock in the morning when Deeks walked back into the Mission. A nagging feeling in the back of his mind kept him from falling asleep. That same nagging forced him to get out of bed and made him drive to his empty workplace in his pajamas. He never needed to know what was in the damned box Kensi had given him before now; now, he needed to know how she felt before they gave in to their desires, before she was ripped away from him, and before she had to face her painful past in the desert.<p>

Whatever feelings she had were disrupted by the events of the last 5 months. They had finally sat down and talked, really talked, about their 'thing', but their status was still undecided. They acknowledged that feelings were there; but when all was said and done, feelings were all that there still was between them. Deeks was sure the lingering stares in their direction from Hetty and Granger all day hadn't helped the situation. One wrong move again, and who knew where Kensi might get shipped off to next time.

Deeks shuffled past his desk, flip flops dragging across the old floor loudly. He snatched the box down off the shelf, placed it on his desk, pulled Kensi's knife out of his pocket, and…hesitated. Again. The contents of this box could either give him hope or crush his spirit. Before now, he was okay with the mystery. But now, he needed to know for himself whether or not their thing was worth all the trouble it had caused in the past, and would certainly cause again in the future.

Exhaling rapidly with three loud puffs, Deeks cut through the tape and opened the box to find…bubble wrap. "The hell?" The box was filled to the brim with sheets of bubble wrap. He started yanking it out and throwing it on the floor in disgust. "Oh you have got to be freaking kidding me!" Thankfully there was no one around to hear or see his full body spasm as he destroyed the contents of the box that had been taunting him for a year. He would be sure to apologize to whoever reviewed the security footage for his outburst in the morning.

At least this settled his inner turmoil. The box, and probably their pseudo-relationship, was nothing but a joke to her. And like any of Kensi's other jokes, he didn't find it funny. He pulled the last sheet of bubble wrap from the box and threw it on the ground, stomping on it. The loud pop rattled his ears for a second. He shook his head instinctively to clear his ears, and a piece of paper on the floor caught his eye. Still angry, he grunted and bent down to pick up the paper, discovering it was actually a hand-written note.

In Kensi's handwriting, it said, "The box is what you make it. Tell me what you want, and it's yours. K."

Deeks stared at the paper, dumbfounded. "I'll be damned," he muttered to himself, breathing a sigh of relief. The box wasn't a total joke after all; and maybe their relationship wasn't either. He proceeded to pick up all the bubble wrap and place it back into the box, folding the top tabs in on themselves to close it up again so he could return it to it's usual spot on the shelf.

He knew what he wanted, and unlike when she wrote that note, she knew what he wanted too. The only evidence that remained of his rage against the box was Kensi's knife still sitting on his desk. He hadn't offered to return it to her yet, and she hasn't asked for it either. But he was ready to give it back now; it was a reminder of his time without her, of a time when they didn't know where they stood with each other.

Deeks grabbed a pen and a rubber band from his desk drawer and turned her note over. He bit down on his bottom lip, choosing his words carefully. Speaking aloud as he wrote, he scrolled on the paper: "I want you. When you're ready to give, I'll be ready to receive." Rolling the paper around her knife, he wrapped the rubber band around it and set it on her desk. There were no more mysteries or secrets between them anymore; and he still had hope for the future.


	30. Haircut

"It's fine."

Kensi shook her head angrily. "It's awful."

"Maybe not awful."

"But not good."

Deeks shrugged. "It's hard for you to look bad, really."

Frowning, Kensi tugs at her suddenly much shorter hair. "I look like a boy."

"Wow, you definitely do not look like a boy." He pointedly drags his eyes up and down her body. "Yup, you've still got boobs. Nothing boyish about you. All woman."

"But I know you prefer longer hair on women," Kensi said, raising an eyebrow.

"I also prefer you without any clothes on, but that's doesn't mean I don't find you attractive in jeans and an ugly button down shirt." Deeks tugged playfully at her gray top.

"So now you don't like my shirt?"

"This isn't new information." Deeks crossed his arms across his chest. "And you're still just trying to get me to say I don't like your hair. Your hair is fine. Look, it's not your fault that Martee and Donnie put gum in it while you were sleeping."

Kensi gritted her teeth. "Correction: while I was sleeping and you were supposed to be watching them."

"I was watching them..."

"No."

Deeks pouted. "The Clippers game was on. It happened so fast."

"I'm still pissed." Kensi said, poking her bottom lip out.

Deeks didn't buy it for a second, knowing that she was still trying to make him feel bad for her unfortunate hair accident. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against his body so he could look directly in her eyes. "Listen. You could be bald, pimply, pasty-faced, and weigh 300 pounds and I would still want you. Because it's you."

She smiled finally and squeezed his waist as he leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Curling his lips playfully, Deeks rested his forehead against hers. "Besides. I can't see your hair when my head's between your-OW!"

Kensi had pulled away from him, grabbed his nipple, and twisted hard to interrupt him. "Not in front of the kids, Deeks."

"They'll have to learn how they got here one of these days." Kensi raised her fingers and made a pinching motion at him again. Rubbing his nipple, Deeks half-chuckled, half-grimaced. "Okay, okay. You know what? Even with that haircut, you're still adorable when you're angry. Ow."


	31. Tattoos

"Drop 'em."

Deeks curled his lips and furrowed his brow. "Um, I'm sorry but what am I dropping?"

"Your pants," Kensi replied calmly.

"At work?"

"Yes, at work."

Deeks unfastened the button of his jeans and held his zipper between his thumb and forefinger. "Okay, but there are cameras everywhere you know."

Kensi sighed and started walking towards the gym. "Not here. Locker room."

Following behind, Deeks continued to hold his zipper up, pants hanging a lot looser with the button undone. "Can you tell me what the hell is going on? Last time I checked we were no longer in the pants dropping, sneaking away to do dirty things phase of our relationship. Okay I don't think we were ever in that phase of our relationship. What the hell is going on?"

Kensi dragged him into the dressing area of the locker room and nodded to his pants. "We're about to go undercover as a married couple again. We didn't prepare as well as we should have last time. I need to know where your tattoo is."

"Um..." Deeks dropped his pants. "You've uh, yeah, you've seen...all of...this yeah? Did I imagine that?"

"It was dark, and I wasn't looking."

"Thanks."

"You know what I mean," Kensi growled. "And like you said, I've seen it before so what's the big deal. Show me."

Deeks licked his lips and tugged the band of his boxers down slightly, revealing a small tattoo in the curve of his hip. "There. It's not much."

Squinting, Kensi ran her fingers over the characters. "What does it mean?"

"Okay, yeah, you, no touchy," Deeks flicked her hand away. "And it's the Japanese symbol for strength. I got it in college." He motioned to her pants. "Your turn. Don't even act like you don't have a Hello Kitty tattoo somewhere down there."

"Wrong," Kensi responded with a smile as she turned her back to him. She wrapped her long, loose curls around one of her hands and pulled her hair up, revealing a heart tattoo on her neck just below the hairline.

"A heart? Really?" Deeks asked, running a finger around the edge of it. "How have I never noticed this?"

"Maybe you weren't looking," Kensi answered coyly.

"Fair enough." Deeks smiled at her as she turned back towards him. "So we're good? We know everything we need to know about each other now?"

Kensi tilted her head and offered a tight smile. "Nobody ever really knows everything, Deeks. But yeah, we're good."

"Good. So we're ready for this."

"We're ready for this," she repeated. "One thing though."

"Yeah?"

Kensi smirked and pointed to the floor. "You can pull your pants up now."


	32. Walmart Kensi

Kensi was seeing red. Literally.

This Walmart knock-off version of herself had just given her partner, HER Deeks, a way too friendly punch to the shoulder. "Hey partner," Walmart Kensi had said.

And before she could even say "oh hell no, whore," Kensi had jumped her, pummeling her fists into her kind of pretty face. Walmart Kensi returned fire, and soon Saks Fifth Avenue Kensi couldn't tell which blood was Equate brand and which was Chanel.

A pair of strong hands grabbed each woman by the collars of their shirts, yanking them apart like a pair of pitbulls fighting over the last turkey leg. Deeks shoved them to separate corners of the boatshed, glaring in disgust and a little bit of desire. Wrapping his hand around Kensi's arm, he pulled her into one of the interrogation rooms and slammed the door behind them.

"That was so fucking hot," he said, trapping her body between his lean frame and the flimsy wooden door. He kissed the crook of her neck roughly, sliding his hands down the curve of her waist to her firm thighs. "Oh Kensi," he moaned into her ear.

"Kensi."

"Kensi!"

Shaking her head in confusion, Kensi broke herself away from her daydream. "Huh?"

Deeks squinted his eyes at her in confusion. "This is Talia del Campo, with the DEA. We worked a case together while..." He trailed off, not wanting to reveal anything about her classified mission.

Talia extended her hand with a stiff smile. "Hi. Nice to put a face to the name."

Offering a weak smile in return. Kensi shook Talia's hand a little too firmly. "Yes. Nice to meet you, too."


	33. Facebook

Prompt: Kensi being nosy on Deeks' Facebook page.

* * *

><p>Kensi opened one eye and peered at the window, squeezing it shut again when she saw the morning California sun peeking through the antiquated curtains. Stretching her arms in the air, a weird combination of a squeak and a groan rumbled out of her throat. A big, content smile crept across her face; she had slept wonderfully the night before, and really didn't want to get out of bed unless it was for a giant cup of coffee and an apple fritter. Or a cheese danish. Or a donut. Any pastry really.<p>

Sitting up in bed, she looked around the room for her cell phone. She groaned when she saw it was all the way across the room on top of the dresser. Kensi was bound and determined that her feet were not going to hit the floor until it was absolutely necessary. Crawling to the edge of the bed, she precariously leaned off the end until she could reach the cell phone and tablet on top of the dresser. Flopping back on the bed, she laid back down on her stomach on top of the covers with her feet crossed in the air.

No missed calls or text messages were on her phone, so she tossed it to the side and unlocked the tablet. Swiping through the the different apps, Kensi looked for something fun to play. Plants vs Zombies wasn't something you played when you only had a few minutes to spare. Clash of Clans sounded promising but a lot of work. She made a face and rolled her eyes when she saw an app for Pinterest. "I don't even want to know..." she muttered. Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Padgram, Flickr, Vine; nothing but social media apps. Her curiosity got the best of her, and she tapped on Facebook.

Kensi couldn't help but gag and stick her tongue out at Deeks' Facebook feed. It was mostly full of busty blonde women in bikinis, no doubt showing off their latest surgical enhancements. Making a face, Kensi mocked one in particularly named Candi. "Of course it's Candi with an 'i' instead of a 'y'. 'Oh look at my new boobs, aren't they awesome. They're like, totally huge right?'" She snorted at her impersonation, even though it wasn't very funny, and then snorted at herself again for laughing at herself when she knew she wasn't being funny.

Scrolling through, she ooohed and awwed at the various puppies and babies and made gagging noises at all the boobs. She laughed at Eric's picture of his pasta at Olive Garden, knowing full well that it meant he had eaten dinner with Nell since that was her favorite restaurant back home. "Like," she said aloud, clicking the thumbs up. There was a small part of her that felt like she was invading her partner's privacy, but it wasn't like he didn't pull up all his social media apps to show her stupid stuff all the time anyway.

A message popped up on the screen from someone named Tanya Camp. "Heeeeey I finally found you. Your cover is blown!" Kensi tilted her head in confusion, looking closely at the woman's profile picture. It was a black and white photo and didn't show any real facial features, just long brown hair and a side profile. She didn't recognize her, though.

Hearing the connecting bathroom door handle jiggle, Kensi quickly excited the Facebook app and clicked on the Weather one instead. Before it could even load the current weather for Los Angeles, a wave of steam hit her in the face as the door opened. Steam that smelled like Axe bodywash, overpriced shampoo from a salon in Beverly Hills that he would never admit that he used, and just the overwhelming scent of Deeks. The smell of Deeks wasn't anything she could actually put into words, mostly because the only thing she could think of when she smelled him was garbeldy garbeldy drool.

Deeks stopped dead in his tracks when he walked out of the bedroom, mouth dropping open slightly as he towel dried his hair. Since subtlety wasn't Kensi's strong suit, her jaw almost hit the mattress when she turned her head to look at him and saw that he was still slightly wet, with only a white towel wrapped around his waist. Water was dripping from his hair and landing on his shoulders, rolling down his pecks and abs. Some of the droplets were falling in his belly button and some of the others were rolling down to his hips. She watched, fascinated, as one drop fell on his stomach and wow she never noticed the fine blond hairs that trailed all the way down to his towel and wow again she didn't realize that he had a tan line there. Garbeldy garbeldy drool.

The sound of him clearing his throat broke her out of her trance. "Hey."

She smiled up at him, wiggling her feet in the air. "Um, hey yourself."

Deeks pointed to her awkwardly. "This uh, isn't how I left you."

Biting her bottom lip, Kensi's eyes drifted back down to his towel. "Yeah, this is pretty much how you left me."

"No no, pretty sure you were asleep and under the covers when I got in the shower. Not laying completely naked on top of the covers. Not that I'm complaining about your uh, current position or anything because I think it's great. Better than great, even, it's probably the best thing I've ever witnessed in my life. I'm just not, you know, used to-" Deeks circled a finger in the air in her general direction, "this."

Quite pleased with herself, Kensi rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her hand, positioning in such a way that Deeks could almost see all of her body but really couldn't see anything at all. No, subtlety was definitely not in her vocabulary. She still couldn't tear her eyes away from the towel resting very low on his hips. It was probably the hottest thing she'd every seen in her life. She glanced up very briefly and saw that he was as captivated by her and she was with him. "You're staring, Deeks."

He raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you've been staring at my junk since I walked out here."

Kensi didn't deny it, looking back down at the towel again. "I think it just moved."

Laughing, Deeks looked down at himself too. "Wow, you could tell that from over there?"

"I think I'm fascinated right now, sorry. I've just never-"

"Yeah," he interrupted. "I've never seen you like this before, either."

"I mean, we've seen each other naked a couple of times now..."

"It's just always been at night, in the dark."

"And now..." Kensi forces her eyes back up to his again. "Here we are."

Deeks shook his head, sending water flying through the air before draping his small hair towel over the door handle. He walked over to his bed and leaned down to look her in the eyes, but not before looking everywhere else first of course. "Here we are. Is it awkward?"

"Not like I thought it would be," Kensi answered, licking her lips. "I should get up."

"I'm already half-way there," Deeks said, grinning devilishly.

She curled her lips into a sly smile. "We have to go to work."

"We'll blame it on traffic."

"I need to get a shower." Kensi pushed herself up to a sitting position. "And I think you're way past half-way there, by the way."

Deeks stuck his bottom lip out, staring quite obviously at her boobs. "Okay, so why don't we get really, really dirty and then take a shower together?"

His towel was starting to loosen at his waist some, and Kensi's eye darted back in that direction. Then she thought about him in the shower with her, completely naked and wet. "You know, you make a very convincing case."

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Yeah?"

Kensi nodded her head emphatically. "Oh yes. Just...one thing first." She reached for her phone and angled the camera at the knot in the towel at his waist, zooming in to where she could see the faint tan peeking out before she took the picture. Throwing the phone back on the bed, she grabbed the towel and ripped it off of him with a huge smile. "Okay, I'm good."

Deeks narrowed his eyes at her. "That better not end up on Facebook. You know you like to put weird pictures on there."

She shook her head. "Never. This is for my eyes only."


	34. Lay Down the Gun

**Warning: some coarse language.**

* * *

><p><em>Deeks and Kensi stood facing each other in the bullpen of the Mission, taking in each other's new appearances. He had refused to cut all of his hair off but agreed to a trim and a lot of bleach to make his normally dark blond hair platinum. She had opted for an auburn red, with green contacts to attempt to cover her birthmark.<em>

_"You look hot," Deeks told her._

_"You look kind of like a muppet," Kensi responded with an evil grin._

_"It hurts, it really hurts."_

_Sam and Callen watched cautiously as the partners (and lovers) prepared for their new undercover assignment together. They put their lives in harms way every time they came to work, but something about this situation made the elder members of their team more concerned than usual. They both knew how complicated things could be, living lives as other people and having to maintain a cover at all times. Sam, more than anybody, knew how much harder it was to do it with somebody you loved._

_Deeks was used to deep undercover; Kensi was not, and had a habit in the past of letting her judgment be clouded by concern over his safety. "You can quit staring at us like two nervous parents about to send their kids off to kindergarten," Deeks called over his shoulder._

_"Does that sound accurate to you, Sam?" Callen asked his partner._

_"Sounds about right to me," he quipped back. "And since Deeks brought it up, I think it's time for us to have a little talk."_

_"We already know about the birds and the bees..." Deeks teased._

_"Maybe they know something about it we don't yet, I mean, with age comes wisdom, right?" Kensi joined in with a smile._

_Sam and Callen crossed their arms in unison and stared at the junior agents on their team. Kensi's pursed her lips and crossed her hands in front of her, and Deeks' face grew more serious. "Okay, get it out."_

_"Don't lose yourselves in this mission," Callen started._

_"Trust your training," Sam added._

_"If you don't make a check-in, we will extract your asses faster than Deeks' eyes tear up after a papercut."_

_Deeks looked at Callen, offended. "Hey!"_

_"Kensi, watch his back. He's on point, you're the backup. Keep your head on straight."_

_"We'll be fine, Sam," Kensi said warily._

_"And Deeks," Sam continued. "You know how to do this. Keep her at a safe distance. If you do anything stupid to harm her, I'll kill you myself."_

_"Hey hey hey, now, the only person allowed to hurt my boyfriend is me," Kensi interjected, trying to ease the tense feeling suddenly in the air._

_"Sam." Deeks looked at him seriously; eye to eye, man to man. "You have my word. I'd lay down my gun and my life before I let anything happen to her."_

* * *

><p>The shiny 9mm Taurus pressed against his temple brought Deeks out of his flashback to the last time he saw Sam, Callen, and the inside of the Spanish Mission that provided such a safe shelter to the team's support staff. He and Kensi had missed their scheduled check-in for obvious reasons, one of which being that their covers may have been blown.<p>

"Who is she?" A large dark-haired man that Deeks not so affectionately called Shrek held the gun to his head, but he was just a grunt. The blond man standing in front of him asking the questions was the one in charge; and also the one he'd been trying to impress in order to sneak his way into the smuggling ring they were trying to thwart.

Deeks closed his eyes and shook his head. "Look man, I took her home and fucked her the other night. I don't even know this chick's last name." Opening his eyes again, he looked across the room to where Kensi was being held by a man named Tommy. Deeks had been working Tommy hard, trying to become "friends" with him because he seemed to be the least evil and most gullible of the crew.

Kensi's face showed fear, more fear than he knew she was actually feeling due to her trying to maintain her cover. Her fake green eyes were still strong, and it gave Deeks the strength he needed not to lose his mind over her being manhandled in front of him.

"Okay," Viggo, the bad blond man, said. Deeks usually wanted to laugh at the obviously villainous name; not today though. "Why is she snooping around?"

"It was really good, man. She must be coming back for round two. Or round three actually. Isn't that right, sugar?" Deeks tried to wink at her and made a crude gesture with his hands.

Viggo rolled his eyes. "Get rid of the bitch."

"She won't come back, I swear," Deeks said, relieved.

"Yeah, I know she won't. She was snooping too much." Viggo nodded to Tommy. "Just toss her body with the rest of the ones we have to get rid of."

"No!" Kensi screamed, and Deeks knew that her scream was only partially an act at this point. The rest of them would be a reference to the last batch of women that didn't make it after being smuggled into the country. Their screams were just a little too loud and the crew used a little too much Ether to shut them up. It'd been dumb luck on their part that they didn't blow the whole ship up. Deeks swallowed the bile in his gut back down, remembering the sight that met him on his first job for Viggo.

"No man, she's just a stupjd girl, she doesn't know anything, let her go," he plead with Viggo, glancing back and forth between Kensi and Tommy worriedly.

"This can just be a lesson to you. Keep your cunts under control." Viggo scowled at the large man holding the gun to Deeks' head. "Give him the gun."

Deeks clenched his teeth when Shrek gave him a dirty look and handed him his 9mm. Staring at the gun, Deeks weighed his options. By now their team would be searching for them to do an extract, right? But he had no idea when they would show up. He could only hope it would be soon. The gun in his hands was only a 9mm, not as weak as a .22 in his ankle holster but less powerful than the .40 cal he usually carried. For a brief second, he wondered if he could aim well enough to shoot Kensi without killing her so he could get her out of there and to a hospital by saying he would dispose of the body. The thought made him feel sick, and he knew he was less likely to get a through and through with the 9mm anyway, meaning she would need surgery as soon as possible.

It didn't matter what the situation was, Deeks knew he could never hurt Kensi. Shaking his head violently, he tried to clear that thought from his mind. If he shot Viggo or Shrek or Tommy, then whoever he didn't shoot would just return fire. If Sam and Callen and LAPD didn't bust through the door in the next couple of minutes, they were both as good as dead. Deeks looked up from the gun to see Kensi struggling against Tommy, who was letting his hands become way too familiar with her body. His eyes met hers and he tried to convey the emotions he was feeling to her; I'm scared, I'm sorry, and I love you. Kensi held her head high, not willing to give up on him or her chance of survival.

"Hey!" Viggo shouted, snapping Deeks out of his daze. "What are you waiting on, fucking shoot her."

That wasn't going to happen. Deeks closed his eyes again and said a silent prayer that he was making the right decision, that their backup would show up soon, and that his stupidity wouldn't result in both of them getting killed. The chances were pretty high that it would, but he had to try anything he could to save her. He knelt down slowly and placed the gun on the ground, standing back up with his hands raised. Viggo's face curled up in confusion, then grew even angrier than it had been before.

"What the fuck is this?"

Deeks averted his eyes away from Kensi, but he could still see her shaking her head and he could faintly hear her muttering "no no no" through the sound of his pounding heart in his ears. Staring Viggo in the eyes, he began to speak.

"I don't know who she is, but she doesn't deserve to die. Let her go, and I'll tell you everything you want to know." Deeks paused, exhaling nervously. "My name is Marty Deeks, I'm a special agent with the DEA..."


	35. Photo

prompt: Kensi accidentally sees the pic on Deeeks phone what Nell&Eric send him of her being dead...

* * *

><p>"Good work, guys." Nell sat down in her chair with a plop big enough to send it spinning in a semi-circle and make her auburn hair bounce in the air. She smiled, slightly embarrassed, and corrected her position at her computer.<p>

"Is Nell actually the boss now?" Kensi whispered to Deeks.

Deeks smiled at Nell, who was busying herself with work on her computer again. "I don't even think she's Hetty 2.0 anymore. She's her own entity now. Did you see the way Granger crumpled under her stare earlier? I think he actually asked to be excused from Ops."

"Ahem." Nell cleared her throat loudly. "If you don't mind, I need to reorganize this year's files-"

"I'm going to backup and reformat everybody's computers," Eric interrupted.

"Yes, Eric, and everybody really needed to know that right now." Nell shot him an annoyed look.

"We get it, you two need some nerd bonding time," Deeks joked. Nell and Eric both ignored him, typing furiously on their keyboards. "Yeah, I can take a hint. You ready to get out of here, partner? Beers on me?"

Kensi grinned and looped her arm with Deeks', leading him to the automatic doors. "That sounds kinda naughty, but I'll let-" She paused, looking at the big screen. There were numerous photos from different cases scattered on the screen as Nell assigned uniform naming conventions to all of them. A picture of Jack had caught the corner of her eye, along with several other pictures pertaining to her mission in Afghanistan. All the pictures on the screen started disappearing almost as quickly as they had appeared, flying into a file named WGA-closed.

"What was that?" Kensi asked Nell, dropping Deeks' arm. "Those pictures of me, and of Jack? Did they actually-"

"Come on, I thought we were getting beer," Deeks interrupted, practically shoving her through the doors as soon as they opened.

Kensi planted her feet outside of Ops as soon as the doors closed behind her, crossing her arms over her chest. "Answer my question."

"Yes, this actually is my natural hair color, and I love that you're so jealous of my beautiful Scandinavian features," he deflected casually, even though he was visibly tense.

"Deeks!" She had a stern look on her face, and was not amused at all. "Those pictures. I didn"t...I didn't know about them."

"You were there, what do you mean you don't know about them?" Deeks looked at her, confused and extremely irritated that Nell hadn't waited until they left Ops to start her organization process.

"I mean, I knew they were taken, obviously. Everything was really blurry at the time, and we didn't know..." Kensi uncrossed her arms, shoving them in her pockets. Neither she nor Deeks were looking each other in the eye, instead darting their gazes everywhere but. "I didn't realize the pictures had been sent to anybody."

"Sam, Callen, and Granger found them while they were tracking the cell that took you. They sent them back to Ops after that," Deeks stated matter-of-factly.

"And you?"

"I was otherwise occupied."

He was avoiding the question, but Kensi wasn't going to accept his answer. "So you didn't see those pictures before you knew I was actually alive?"

"No," he answered, still not looking her in the face. "I probably would have done something unthinkable if I had."

Kensi tilted her head, taking in her partner's uncomfortable expression. He was lying; she knew it, and he knew that she knew it. Deeks had spent his entire life telling tales as if they were the gospel. As an expert at lying, he'd been able to decipher Kensi's lies from the truth within a few months of knowing her. It took her longer, but in time she'd figured out his lies as well. But for now, she'd let him get away with this one. He would tell her the truth when he was ready.

Placing a hand on his bicep, Kensi simply stated, "Okay."

Finally making eye contact again, Deeks smiled for just a second. "None of that matters now anyway, right? You're alive, and you're back. Where you should be."

As she linked her arm in his, she could feel him relax again. "Right where I should be," she said with a smile. "Come on. I'm still waiting on that beer you promised me."


	36. Boom

Prompt: Deeks has to touch Kensi's boob. Not established Densi.

* * *

><p>Smoke surrounded them, his ears were ringing, and he tasted blood. Rolling over, Deeks coughed and spit out onto the gravel cutting into into his hands. He ran his tongue over his teeth and winced, realizing thankfully he wasn't missing any of his now well-insured teeth and had just bitten his tongue when he landed after the blast. Blinking his eyes, he coughed again and started searching for his partner among the rubble with his hands as the smoke cleared some. Kensi wasn't within arms reach of him, so he started crawling towards the burning building.<p>

"Kensi!" Groaning, he pushed himself up to his knees and then to his feet as he stumbled across the unpaved parking area they were searching when the car bomb went boom. "Kensi!"

Through the smoke, he saw he laying on her back much closer to the now nonexistent Honda. Her eyes were open and she was breathing so heavily that Deeks could see her chest moving up and down from where he was standing. There was a lot of smoke surrounding her, but not so much that he couldn't see a concentrated amount of smoke coming off of her shirt. "Shit," he muttered as he ignored the pain shooting through him to run over to her.

"Can you hear me?" Deeks asked, falling down beside her. He pulled his sooty white tshirt over his head and laid it on her chest, patting all over to try to smother the embers on her clothes. "You're on fire, do you not feel that? Say something."

"Deeks," Kensi moaned, her voice scratchy. "I'm fine."

"No. You're not moving, you were on fire, and hello, we just barely got away from a car bomb. That's not fine." He continued patting her all over, more gently this time as he inspected her physical condition.

Kensi wrapped her hand firmly around his wrist, pulling his hand away. "I was on fire. I already rolled all over this freaking gravel...whatever this thing is, to put it out."

"Oh," Deeks said, sighing in relief. "Well. Good then."

"Did you not go to elementary school?" Kensi closed her eyes and rubbed her head, wincing. "Stop, drop, and roll?"

He could hear sirens off in the distance coming closer and closer to them. "Um, I can tell you what to do in case of an earthquake? And shut up, I just saw smoke and you were laying really still and I panicked a little, okay? You should be thanking me."

"I should be thanking you?"

"Yes."

"You," she said, bending her neck to look down at her chest. "Should remove your hand from my boobs."

"What?" Deeks' eyes grew large as he looked down at his hand resting on top of his discarded shirt, way too close to comfort to her breasts. "My bad."

"It's still there, Deeks."

"Yeah, yeah, sorry." He snatched his hand away like it was on fire. "You'd think I'd notice something like that."

Kensi scowled at him and extended her hand for him to pull her into a sitting position. "I'm choosing to take that as an insult."

"No no, what I meant is, ahhhhh..."

"Shut up, Deeks."

"It's just that they are really very nice, I don't want you to think-" Deeks sighed, shutting up before he dug his own grave any deeper. "Sorry."

Eyeing her shirtless partner, Kensi narrowed her eyes at his chest and tweaked one of his nipples.

"Ow, hey!" He rubbed his chest, pouting as Kensi smiled smugly. "What was that for?"

"I think we're even now."

Deeks shook his head as he stood up, brushing the debris off of his pants. "If you say so."

"I do say so," Kensi repeated as Deeks dragged her to her feet. "Although you probably enjoyed it way more than I did."

Deeks laughed as he tried to wipe Kensi off and she shooed his hand away. "You wouldn't be wrong."

Kensi glared at him with her mouth agape before smacking him on his bicep. "I knew it, you lingered on purpose!"

Grinning devilishly, Deeks responded proudly. "Best. Explosion. Ever."


	37. Saturdays

This was part of a joint gifset/fan fic collaboration with toucheblye. It can be found here:

post/86367777705/how-kensi-deeks-really-spend-their-saturday

* * *

><p>His lips trailed kisses slowly from her navel to her collarbone, relishing in the salty sweetness of her perfect skin. "Worth getting up early for on a Saturday morning?" Deeks asked her, voice still husky and sleepy.<p>

"Hmm mmm," Kensi murmured, eyes closed and still breathing heavily.

Deeks chuckled softly. "You okay?"

"Hmm mmm."

He laid his head on her chest, careful not to press his entire body weight on top of her. Long fingers curled and twisted in his messy hair, almost lulling him back to sleep again. "Ya know, I don't think I've ever been woken up quite like that before," Kensi finally spoke, playing with one particularly unruly strand of his hair.

"I might have to make this a Saturday tradition."

"I wouldn't go that far." Kensi ruffled his hair one more time as he pushed himself up off of the bed. Her eyes widened as she made no attempt to hide the fact that she was ogling his very lean and very naked body as he stood in front of her. "I uh, um, do enjoy sleeping in. Yeah."

Deeks grinned at her, pleased with all of the reactions he was able to get out of her that morning. "Speaking of Saturday traditions though…you mind if I go surfing?"

Attempting to hide her pout, very poorly, Kensi threw the covers off of her and sat up in the bed, sitting on her calves. "I guess. With one condition."

"Anything."

"Bring breakfast when you come back."

"I thought I just had breakfast," Deeks responded, eyeing her naked form appreciatively.

Kensi threw a pillow at him and he caught it before it smacked him in the head. "Second breakfast, then."

"Are we hobbits?"

Kensi rolled her eyes. "Are you a giant dork?"

"Maybe." He tossed the pillow back at her and made a motion like he was aiming a bow. "I am much more of an elf though, yeah, don't you think? All tall and sexy?"

All she could do was shake her head in amazement. Deeks shrugged and began digging through his dresser drawers, pulling out and quickly putting on pair of gray shorts and a white v neck tee shirt. After getting dressed and slipping some flip flops on his feet, he flopped on the bed next to Kensi, who pulled the sheet up over her. "You sure you don't mind?"

Kensi nodded wordlessly.

"What's on your mind, Kens? You have that funny look on your face, like you either just ate some bad Thai food or you're worried about something."

She shrugged. "This is just…different. I'm used to spending a lot of time with you, it's just usually working. And not naked."

"I'm a huge fan of the naked."

Kensi shoved his shoulder playfully. "Yeah, me too. But speaking of naked, I've stayed at your place the last three nights and I'm out of clothes. You go surf and I'll go to my place and clean up-"

"Clean what?"

"Shut up. Get a shower, ass. And we'll meet back here?"

Deeks leaned in for a chaste kiss. "Sounds awesome. You, me, no work. It's a date."

"Oh, and Deeks?"

"Yup?"

"Don't forget my breakfast."


	38. Toothbrush

Prompt: Deeks and Kensi discover they've been using the same toothbrush.

* * *

><p>Something is licking her. Much to Kensi's disappointment, it's her canine bedmate instead of the human one. "Monty…" she groans. "Stooooop, you lick your butt with that tongue."<p>

"You're just going to encourage him, he likes it when you talk dirty." Deeks walks, or more like sways, out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel around his waist and a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

"You're both weird," she grumbles. "Why are you wearing that towel? I thought it was Naked Sunday?"

Grinning like a very sexy devil, he drops his towel and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. She grins and crawls to the foot of the bed, narrowly avoiding a second tongue bath from Monty. "What are you cooking for breakfast?"

Deeks pulls the toothbrush out of his mouth and talks with a mouthful of minty freshness. "No bacon, I learned that lesson the hard way last Sunday."

Narrowing her eyes, Kensi grabs the toothbrush from his hands. "WHY are you using my toothbrush?!"

"That's not your toothbrush, this is my toothbrush," he answers, snatching it back from her.

"Oh my God." She jumps off the bed and runs to the bathroom and returns with another toothbrush. "THIS is your toothbrush."

Frowning, Deeks peers at the object in her hands. "But that's Wonder Woman, why would I use a girl toothbrush?"

Kensi looks at him angrily. "Because, you put Wonder Woman in your mouth, and I," she takes the second toothbrush from him again, "put Superman in my mouth. This was your idea, idiot."

"Oh yeah," Deeks says, staring off into space as he remembers. "Yeah, that was pretty funny."

"I'm going to be sick." Stomping into the bathroom, she starts rummaging through the cabinets.

Deeks follows her and spits into the sink. "What are you looking for?"

"Either some strong mouthwash or bleach, whichever I find first."

He rolls his eyes. "What's the big deal? You know where my mouth has been."

She widens her eyes and stares at him. "Exactly." Huffing in exasperation, she throws on a pair of yoga pants and a tshirt that are laying on the closet floor and starts heading for the door.

"I've been relegated down to your level, buddy," Deeks mutters to the dog as he follows her. "I didn't hear you complaining last night. Where are you going? It's naked Sunday," he whines.

"I'm going to go buy a new toothbrush. Pink, so you'll know which one is mine."

Deeks pouts. "But I like pink in my mouth, too."

"I…I just…no. I'll be back." Kensi grabs her purse and keys. "And I would like bacon for breakfast, thank you."

"But the splatter!"

"Toothbrush!"

Deeks grabs her by the waist, pulling her roughly against him. He counteracts the gruffness with a soft kiss to her nose. "Is this our first fight since you moved in here?"

She nuzzles her nose against his chin. "This is pretty tame for a fight. By our standards anyway."

"Can we classify it as a fight so we can have make-up sex when you get back?"

She smacks him on his bare, amazingly firm ass. "I suppose so. It is Naked Sunday after all."

Kissing her softly, he whispers against her lips. "Can't wait."

Kensi leans up and takes his ear in her mouth, nibbling just a bit before whispering, "After the bacon."


	39. Nightmares

Prompt: Deeks has a nightmare about Afghanistan and Kensi sees/hears it.

* * *

><p>It happens every once in a while, and afterwards he thinks he's losing his mind.<p>

_He shoots somebody out of anger instead of necessity._

_He punches somebody in the face and the pain in his hand feels really good to him._

_He refuses to help a worthless bastard hanging on for dear life for a roof and walks away._

The nightmares have been a problem on and off for his entire life. Every kid has nightmares, but they usually wake up to a reassuring hug from a parent, not the smell of Jack Daniels and complete silence. So he learned to deal with them on his own, and for the next several years nightmares were nothing more than an excuse for a midnight snack of Doritos and Captain Morgan's. Anything but Jack Daniels.

Something about the nightmares change after he's tortured at the hands of the sociopathic Russians. Of course he expected the subject matter to change, and the degrees of fear he feels when he realizes he can't close his mouth, he can't swallow because all he can taste is blood, and he can't even beg them to stop anymore are much higher than any of his previous nightmares. What scares him the most though, is his reaction to his nightmares. It's not fear he's feeling anymore, it's anger.

The real life, awake Marty Deeks recovers well and becomes more like his old self again, save for the fancy dental work and occasional haunted look on his face. Everyone expects him to still struggle in day to day activities, but he's fine. He swears. But there's a small part of him that was thankful that Kensi completely ignored the fact that he kissed her in a moment of truth (not weakness) and made no attempt to establish anything other than a friendly, albeit more friendly than before, relationship with him. Because he didn't want her or anybody else to know that he is still a little afraid of his worst enemy: himself.

He's a good person, and he knows it. He saves lives. He helps people. He stops evil. That's why he's upset by the things he is capable of doing in his sleep, because he doesn't want to do anything to purposely hurt somebody and he doesn't want to enjoy the feeling of releasing his rage on somebody. Or so he thought.

Now his dreams, he can't even call some of them nightmares anymore because they're too close to the truth, remind him of the monster he's so afraid of becoming. He can blame his desire to kill a man in cold blood and his ability to torture him for information (because he knows torture is torture, and just because he stopped himself doesn't mean he didn't start it) on his feelings for Kensi. The fact that he loves her more than anyone else on the planet is why he crumbled and let his angry Marty come out when he believed she was dead. Maybe she was the reason he tried so hard to keep him hidden in the first place.

When she comes home, Kensi is a little broken but a whole lot of alive. That's all that matters, not whatever happened to her that she won't talk about or whatever he did in order to find her that he won't talk about. Nothing intimate happens between them, but she sleeps in his bed every night after she comes home. "Monty makes me feel better," she lies. Her presence is calming to him, and he goes for a couple of weeks without dreaming at all until the one night he's in the cleric's house again. And he's screaming at him and holding a gun to his chest and this time he pulls the trigger and watches the life drain out of the cleric's body, satisfied that somehow he has avenged the murder of his lover. He falls down to the floor and starts shaking uncontrollably, and he thinks it's weird because he's pretty sure he's awake now and this has never happened before.

It's Kensi, she's shaking him to wake him up and saying his name over and over again. He blinks his eyes as he tries to focus on her hovering over him in the dark. "What happened?"

"You," she sits back on her heels. "I think you were having a nightmare. You were screaming but I couldn't tell what you said."

"Oh." Deeks rubs the scruff of his jaw and rolls out of bed. "I'm thirsty, you want anything?"

She shakes her head no and he walks into the kitchen for his usual routine, goes to the bathroom to rinse his mouth out with Listerine, and comes back to bed. Kensi is still sitting up, a concerned look on her face. "Does it happen often?"

He shrugs and climbs back into bed. "Probably more than to a scientist but less than a school teacher."

"Have you talked to anybody about it?"

"I'm talking to you about it right now."

She growls at him, and he can't help but forget everything that happened in his dream that night or in his reality over the last year when he sees her beautiful face and messy hair. She's so fucked up and he's so fucked up and they're so perfectly wrong for each other that it has to be right.

"I'm thinking of doing it. Talking to somebody, I mean," she confesses. "I think I have some issues, and I have trouble dealing with them. Maybe you should come too."

He smiles weakly at her, and hates himself for loving her so much that he won't let himself take the steps to be with her in all the ways that he wants. It's hard to tell her no, and if she had asked him to touch her any of those nights they've shared a bed he couldn't have stopped himself. What they need is for him to be happy, and for her to be happy, and for them to be happy.

Her hand grabs his and she squeezes it, and it feels so good that he takes her into his arms and holds her as tight as he can manage. Messy strands of brown hair fall into his mouth when he starts to talk, but he doesn't care. "Maybe I should."


	40. Captain Marty Deeks

Prompt: Deeks discovers the magical pillow properties of Kensi's boobs.

* * *

><p>Deeks is drunk. He almost never gets drunk, and he really really almost never gets drunk because he's sad or lonely or hating himself a lot. So this, tonight, was a mistake. But it was work and his life and his partner and not just all separate but sometimes all together and it was too much. Cases with kids, they always got to him more than the others did. And now, cases with kids and seeing the look on his partner's face when something bad happens kills him a little bit. It makes him sad. He was already lonely. The hating himself comes and goes.<p>

So here he is, lying on his back on the beach with a bottle of rum half buried in the sand. He fancies himself in his drunken stupor to be kind of like a modern day Jack Sparrow. Minus the pirating and the sword. He would really like the sword though. "Yo ho!" he yells at nobody. Cassiopeia maybe. It's quiet and peaceful with the waves crashing and the few stars that he can see despite the bright lights of the city. He's pretty sure this is the same beach where Nate found him and talked to him about his torture. Kind of. Or about Kensi. Definitely.

A lot of good it did him, admitting to himself that he was in love with his partner. He still couldn't admit it to her, so what was the point in knowing it himself? He's pretty sure he called her a few minutes ago, but it could have been a figment of his imagination. Being extremely drunk and all. It would be rather embarrassing to fall asleep on the beach and get arrested for public intoxication. Funny, but embarrassing. That's probably why he called her. It's probably her standing behind him, burying her toes in the sand and looking at him disapprovingly.

"Deeks."

"Ahoy, me lady," he slurs, leaning his head back as far as he can. "I've sailed the seven seas, and you're the sleekest schooner I've ever sighted."

Kensi sits down in the sand with a huff. "You're not a pirate, Deeks."

Lifting his bottle in the air, he shouts, "But what about the rum?!"

She ruffles his hair, because she doesn't really know how to handle him in this situation. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"That's what I'm talking about." He forces himself to roll over in the sand, somehow, though he'll never know how he mustered the strength to do it. Now he's on his stomach and staring at her in the moonlight and she's so pretty, so very very pretty. "But I don't want to go home alone."

She sighs and smiles crookedly at him. "That's the rum talking."

He shakes his head emphatically and immediately regrets it. "No. No it's not that, well not only that, that would actually be really nice but I don't think that even I, master of the seven seas, could rock that boat tonight." Frowning, he drags himself until he's practically in her lap and flops over again, leaning his head against her chest. "It was a bad day. A really bad day."

"I know," Kensi answers. She ruffles his hair again, not because she doesn't know what to do, but because she knows exactly what to do. "You could have called earlier. Ya know, before you ended up here."

"But what fun would that be? Making good decisions. That's not fun." He's snuggling against her, she's not stopping him, and she's really comfortable to him.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

Deeks smiles and closes his eyes. The real ocean sounds are way more calming that the fake ones he listens to when he is stressed out. "You know what you just said," he says, yawning.

She snorts. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, hard on."

"Kens?"

"Uh huh."

"I don't think I can walk to the car. You're gonna have to carry me."

Kensi takes the bottle of rum from him and sets it in the sand next to her before wrapping both arms around his shoulders. "How about we just stay here for a little while then?"

Somehow he feels like his head is in the stars and his body is in the ocean but he's still never felt more grounded in his life. A hug is probably what he needed in the first place, not the booze. "Okay. I'd like that."


	41. Love Story

Kensi and Deeks' daughter asks Kensi about how they fell in love.

* * *

><p>The third Saturday of every month was Girl's Day Out. Girls meaning just the two of them, Kensi and her now 13 year old daughter Morgan. No phones or electronic devices were allowed, as it was a time for just the two of them to spend time with each other since they didn't get much together anymore between work and school and Morgan's ever exciting social life.<p>

"And then I caught him video-chatting with that skank. Ugh. Guys suck," Morgan vented in between licks on her ice cream cone.

"This is a good philosophy to have. You're too young to worry about boys anyway," Kensi responded. She, of course, had a double scoop cone.

"Whatever."

"I'm just saying."

Morgan rolled her eyes at her mother. "I'm going to be alone forever."

Kensi made a face in return. "You're thirteen. I don't even want to hear it. Besides, you have me."

"This. No. Not making me feel better, Mom." Morgan took a big bite of ice cream. "How did you do it?"

"What is 'it'?"

"Fall in love. With Daddy," Morgan answered.

Kensi shrugged. "It's complicated. Do you want the long story or the short story?"

"Short story please. I don't need a repeat of that show you watch on Nick at Nite, where the guy spends years telling his kids how he met their mother."

"That was a great show," Kensi argued. "Until the finale. I hate finales."

"Mom."

"Okay, okay. Well, we met at a gym, when he was still with the police department and we were both undercover and I thought he killed this guy-"

"No, not that story," Morgan interrupts. "Daddy told me that one. White shirt, red shorts, black socks and all that shit."

"Um, language much?"

"Whatever, you say shit all the time."

"Yeah, well, when you can say shit in at least four different languages, then you can say it whenever you want to." Kensi looked at her daughter and raised an eyebrow.

"Merde. Szar. Merda. Scheiße." Morgan smiled smugly, and her mother shook her head in disappointment.

"I'm going to have to have a talk with your uncles."

"Love story, Mom."

Kensi smiled wistfully, as those words brought her back to a long time ago when those two words made her heart flutter for the first time. "Right. Love story. Well, it wasn't fast by any means. If anything it was really slow, because we were just partners when we first got to know each other. And then we were friends. There was a time where neither one of us really knew what we were to each other. But I think we fell in love without even knowing it, and when we realized it, it was too late to stop it."

Morgan took a crunchy bite of her cone. "So, which one of you admitted it? Cause, hello stubborn people."

Looking down at her wedding set sparkling in the afternoon sun, Kensi remembered the day everything changed. "He did. Of course. We were so stupid, really, just pretending and making any excuse we could think of to not be happy. But one day, we both almost died. Together. And he said that he couldn't do it anymore. That if he only had one more day to live that he needed that day to be with me. So I tackled him and kissed the hell out of him. And that was it."

"That sounds like you guys, for sure."

"The tackling or the kissing?"

"Both. Thanks for sparing me from any sexy details by the way," Morgan said, tilting her head with a crooked smile. "I miss him."

Kensi nodded and smiled back, still looking at her rings. "Yeah. I miss him, too."

* * *

><p>The end of this is whatever you want it to be. Don't assume the worst unless that's what you want it to be.<p> 


	42. Change

Prompt: Kensi dyes her hair red.

* * *

><p>It was time for a change.<p>

No matter how long it had been, Deeks still continued to look at her in ways that made her want to rip off his stupid hoodies and straddle him against her car (or throw him on her desk, or handcuff him to his chair...) and do any manner of inappropriate workplace activities to him.

It was her own fault, really, for letting him in and opening up her heart in the first place. He may have been the one to finally say that he wanted to be with her, but it was her idea to fuck in the backseat of her car. He at least wanted to wait until they got back to his place. They both got their way that night.

They had broken the rules, rules they didn't even realize existed until after they'd been shattered. So now they were paying the price of almost loving the wrong (right) person. But he needed to quit looking as if nothing had changed, as if a year hadn't passed since their night together. Her body and her mind couldn't handle it anymore.

She stopped wearing make-up, save for a small bit of powder on her nose, to work. He still stared at her and smiled every morning before handing her a cup of coffee.

Her clothes became looser and frumpier as she became thinner (she was slowly losing her appetite altogether). For some reason he didn't treat her like she looked different at all and never hesitated to give her a rough shoulder bump as they walked out to their cars each night, alone.

It was no secret that Deeks loved brunettes. So one weekend she dyed her hair, as bright a red as she could manage over her dark locks. This would do it, she thought. This would be enough to make him finally turn his nose up at her.

For some reason it wasn't enough to turn him away. That Monday morning he walked in and his eyes lit up when he saw her. "Your hair," he said, placing a cup of coffee on her desk.

"Yup."

"I love it." Deeks gently grasped a strand of her hair and twisted it in his fingers.

When he touched her she felt like she was so alive and slowly dying all at the same time. All of her personal modifications couldn't change him and the way he looked at her. Maybe it wasn't her face, or her body, or her hair that he smiled at everyday; it was just her.

It was time for a change, a real change.

"Quit," she told him softly.

A look of sadness briefly crossed his face, and he dropped her hair. "Oh. Sorry."

"No." She shook her head. "Here. Quit here." He tilted his head in confusion. "If you don't, I will."

The sadness in his face disappeared, replaced by a ray of sunshine that only his smile could produce. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

Kensi nods and smiles the happiest smile since before she was so rudely whisked away to the desert over a year before. "I choose you."

Not all change was a good thing, but one change was the best thing ever.


	43. Twinkies

Prompt: Kensi finds out Twinkies are going out of business.

* * *

><p>After grumbling about the fact that she has never kept a single shoe box in her life, Deeks methodically stacks Kensi's shoes in a medium sized cardboard box. "You're like an animal, you know that?"<p>

"Not the first time you've told me that. Last time I think it was much more complimentary though," she responds, tossing some remote controls in the box.

"What what no, what the hell are you doing?" He pulls the remotes out and tosses them on her bed. "Shoes! Box of shoes!"

"But I need to pack them, they have to go somewhere."

"YOU need to go somewhere. God, you suck at packing," Deeks growls as he folds the now full box closed, tapes it shut, and labels it 'shoes-kind of slutty' with a fat black Sharpie.

Kensi makes a face at him and takes the box, stacking it in the living room with all the rest of her bedroom belongings while he continues to attempt to clean her closet out. Pushed to the back corner are several unopened and unmarked boxes. Sighing for probably the thousandth time that day, he starts pulling the boxes out. "Kens!"

"Yeah?"

"Unopened boxes in closet, what do I label them?"

Kensi returns to her bedroom with more empty boxes to fill. "Emergency supplies."

Deeks picks the box up and shakes it. "This is way too light for a decent emergency kit." He shakes it again, hearing a distinct rattling of plastic upon plastic. "It isn't. Is it? It isn't. It is, isn't it?"

"Shut up." Kensi throws a balled up pair of socks at him.

"Twinkies."

Kensi opens her mouth to defend herself, but closes it again silently.

"How many freaking Twinkies do you have in here?!"

"Enough to last a while," she answers weakly. "I may have panicked a little when I found out they were going out of business."

Deeks narrows his eyes with a smile. "There's more in other closets too, isn't there?"

Grinning sheepishly, Kensi nods and holds up eight fingers.

Snorting, Deeks shakes his head and pops the top off of his Sharpie, writing on the box of Twinkies - 'This is why I love you."


	44. Troubled Spirits on My Chest

Prompt: Deeks finds himself on the other side of the interrogation table. Post three hearts, established Densi.

* * *

><p>The view of the window is wrong. His seat with uneven legs is wrong. The cold draft of air on his neck is wrong. The fact that he is not with Kensi at this very moment is so wrong that he's dangerously close to throwing his wobbly chair through the obviously two-way mirror.<p>

Deeks thinks that maybe the Internal Affairs NCIS Special Agents are trying to psych him out, as if he's just a regular old navy bad guy. The longer he sits, and waits and waits, the angrier he gets. The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that's actually what they want; they want him angry, because he's not going to incriminate himself unless he loses his cool.

So he closes his eyes and breathes slowly, imagining happier times before the events of the past week that led to him sitting on the wrong side of an interrogation table at the NCIS San Diego Branch Headquarters. He thinks about surfing. About Monty and how much his pup hates it when he's gone for extended periods of time. About the last thing he remembers Kensi saying to him, a joke about where they'd be eating out that night. Unfortunately, thinking of Kensi doesn't relax him, it makes him sad. But that's better than angry.

The lone door to the small dark room opens and two well-dressed agents, a male and a female, walk in together. Partners, he supposes; he feels a little sorry for them and the fact that they have to wear suits to work every day. It's a bitch to try to chase bad guys in a suit.

The woman, an attractive blonde in her late thirties, approaches him first with her badge raised. "Good afternoon Detective. I'm Special Agent Veronica Fisher, this is Special Agent Benjamin Carter." The slightly younger dark skinned man shows his badge as well. "We would just like to ask a few questions about NCIS case number 150402b. Are you familiar with the case in which I am referring?"

Tilting his head with his most charming smile, Deeks reaches into his pocket and pulls his own badge out, tossing it on the table in front of him. "Detective Marty Deeks, LAPD. And seeing as how I wrote a good portion of the file that I'm sure you were studiously reading before coming in here, I'd say I'm far more familiar with the case than the two of you are."

The partners in suits share a glance and a quick smile with each other before Agent Carter sits in the chair across from him and Agent Fisher leans against the side wall.

"So now what?" Deeks asks, leaning back in his chair. He is not as comfortable as he appears to be, but he is not an amateur and has no intention of letting the pair control the room. "This is smart, having her be the mobile one since she's wearing that nice suit with the short skirt and I'm a man, so of course I'll get distracted. Maybe one of these days I'll suggest that idea to my partner. And you," he points to the man in front of him. "I bet you watched the Clippers game last night, right? You wanna talk all about how shitty the refs were, and how lucky we are to have home court advantage since we barely pulled the win out." Pointing back and forth between the two, he goads them on. "Right? Am I right? I'm right."

"We're just here to get your side of the story, Detective," Agent Carter answers seriously.

"My side of the story," Deeks repeats slowly. "So you think the oral version will be different from the written. That's cool. Story's still the same, so go ahead. Ask away."

"Why don't you tell us the basics, then we'll ask questions."

"Do you need names and locations of the entire case, or are you only interested in the shooting?"

Agent Fisher, clearly taking the role as the senior partner, looks at him almost sympathetically. "We'll focus on the shooting for now."

Deeks nods. "Okay. We were notified of a location of the targets in our current investigation, with a potential hostage situation in place. In addition to myself, Agents Callen, Hanna, and Blye prepared in full tactical gear, with a SWAT team as backup. Agent Blye and I approached the house from the front while Callen and Hanna entered through the rear of the house."

"So what happened when you entered the house?"

"As I said in my report. Multiple shots were fired before we made it into the interior of the house. Agent Blye took two rounds to her vest and one to her thigh. I notified the rest of our team via ear communication system that there was an agent down and proceeded further into the house, using deadly force to disarm anyone who posed a threat to me or anyone else's safety. I shot and killed 4 assailants, Agents Hanna and Callen shot 3 each. After the three of us cleared the house and determined all threats were eliminated, we returned to Agent Blye until medical help arrived."

"What about the supposed hostage situation?"

"We concluded after searching the house that there was no hostage situation." Deeks clenches his jaw hard and winces slightly as he grinds against an old injury.

Agent Fisher crosses the small room to lean against the table next to him. "Of the four people that you shot, how many of them were carrying weapons?"

"All four, ma'am."

"And you're certain of this?"

"Absolutely."

"Would you be able to describe the four of them for us?"

"All male, ranging from about 5 foot 6 to 6 feet tall. Caucasian, Latino ethnicity, dark hair and dark eyes. Dressed in casual clothes, shorts and tee shirts with sneakers, which i found a little odd because it was very hot and I would have chosen flip flops myself if not for the whole work slash tactical situation that day." Deeks offers a tense smile.

"So what about the kid?" Carter asks, crossing his hands on the table. "You're saying he was carrying a weapon?"

"I'm saying that I didn't shoot anyone that wasn't carrying a weapon. You can deduce from that what you will." Deeks mimics the agent across from him, leaning on the table with his fingers lace together, his steely outward appearance unwavering.

Agent Fisher stares at him as if she's trying to read what's underneath the cover of his book. "What about Agent Blye during the firefight?"

Deeks briefly purses his lips together before speaking. "As I said, she was down."

"How was her condition at the time?"

"Not good."

"Detective."

"What?" Deeks responds harshly. "I don't see how that is relevant to whether or not you think I shot an unarmed hostage, which is what you're trying to say, right? Instead of just coming out and asking me if I did, which I didn't. For the record."

"Is it possible," Agent Fisher continues, "that your partner's condition at the time could have affected your judgment at all?"

"No."

Agent Carter narrows his eyes. "One paramedic stated that you were, and I quote, nearly hysterical and covered in blood, end quote."

Shaking his head in frustration, Deeks looks at the glass mirror. "The bullet in her leg nicked the femoral artery, we were all trying to stop the bleeding and save her life before she bled to death." He stares Agent Carter in the eyes and nods his head at Fisher. "What would you do? If your partner was shot, I mean. If you could literally see the life draining out of her face with every gush of blood that you're trying to stop and for some reason you just can't. Huh?" The two IA agents share a tense glance with each other but neither answers him. "That's what I thought. Now can we skip the bullshit and get to the point so I can leave?"

"Yes, fine. What caliber bullets do you shoot, Detective?"

"My primary weapon is a 9mm. My backup is a .40 caliber, when I carry a rifle it is a .223. I was equipped with all three the day in question. All of our weapons have been turned over to your investigative team at this time for ballistic comparison."

"I know. Was there anything in the house that led you to believe there was indeed a hostage situation?"

Deeks closes his eyes and forces himself to focus and think. "We entered the house as if there was, but the ultimate answer to that question is no."

"One more question." Agent Fisher pushes herself away from the table to a standing position, but holds her hands behind her back in a non-confrontational manner. "Do you think it's possible that your team was given bad intel?"

Frowning, Deeks hangs his head. With all of the commotion and stress of the week, this thought had never even crossed his mind. "I, um. Maybe. It's possible."

Agent Fisher smiles at him and heads to the door, opening it for him. "Okay. Thank you for your time, Detective. Please give our regards to Agent Blye."

Standing up, Deeks tries to straighten up the chair with the uneven legs, realizing then that he had been rocking back and forth on them the entire time. "Yeah. Yeah, I will." He exits the room with a cordial nod and shoves his hands in his jean pockets as he walks down the small hallway back to the central office area of the building, stopping briefly to speak to two of his coworkers on the way out.

"You okay?" Callen asks.

"Yeah, fine. I'm going to head on back to LA though, if it's alright with you guys."

Sam stands up and gives Deeks a reassuring clap and his back. "Go. She needs you more than we do."

"Thanks." He walks out of the federal building, out to the silver Cadillac parked in the guest parking area, and slides into the drivers seat. Shaking, he drops his head on the steering wheel and laboriously breathes in and out, in and out, in and out. He has no idea if he even told the Internal Affairs agents the truth. The real truth would be that he has very little memory of what happened after he saw Kensi crumple to the floor. What he remembers most vividly is red; blood everywhere from her, from the young men they had ambushed, maybe even from his own wounds. The thought that maybe he had done something horrible stays with him, but for now it's buried under his concern for his partner, his lover.

Sitting up straight, he runs a hand through his hair and starts the car. There are more important places for him to be right now than this parking lot in San Diego. Kensi is alive but weak, and will be wondering where he has been soon. Now he has two hours to figure out exactly what he's going to tell her.


	45. Pillow

Prompt: Story behind Deeks' cat pillow

* * *

><p>As Deeks taped up a box of DVD's and BluRays labelled 'movies j-z', he glanced over at his future new roommate with an annoyed look. "Put. The catalog. Down."<p>

Kensi peered over the top of the Pottery Barn catalog her nose was buried in. "I'm just looking."

"Yeah well, you've already ordered the whole store, and if you keep looking you're just going to start changing your mind. Again." Deeks plucked the magazine out of her hands and threw it at a nearby trashcan, missing by a long shot. Appearing disinterested in the mess he had just added to his already destroyed apartment, he sat down next to Kensi on his couch. "You sure you're cool with getting rid of all your furniture? I mean, nothing's sentimental at all to you?"

"Nah. Most of it came from Goodwill anyway. It's the little things that mean a lot to me, and you know where all of that stuff is." She stretched her legs out over his lap and leaned back against the couch cushions. "What about you? Anything you're going to put your foot down about bringing with you?"

He shrugged. "A few things, nothing too big really."

"Okay..." Kensi narrowed her eyes. "Like what? Please tell me it's not the big lighted arrow. Nothing about that says Pottery Barn."

"I used to think that nothing about _you_ said Pottery Barn either, Ms. Blye. But you've gone all domestic on me lately. I might think about keeping you around if you would just learn how to cook and clean." A small pillow thwacked him in the face. "Okay yeah, I deserved that one."

"Seriously." Kensi glared at him. "It would be good to know what you're keeping so I don't accidentally throw it away. Or in case I need to change the furniture colors. Again."

"Like I said, not much as far as furniture goes. I need my bookcase, but it's old and rustic and matches all of our new and rustic decor. All my instruments. The piwels," Deeks mumbles the last word in a low voice.

Kensi titled her head. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part."

"You know, the pullowsoes," he mumbled again.

"Dude."

"The pillow," he answered, drawing his words out. "The cat pillow, okay?"

Reaching behind her head, Kensi grabbed the tattered pillow. "Really?" She looked at it closely, studying the stains, loose threads, and frayed edges of the well worn out cushion. "This old thing?"

He snatched the pillow away from her. "Yes, this old thing. And it is old, okay? But all of my stuff didn't just come from Goodwill or Pottery Barn."

Kensi noticed that he had a familiar look on his face, but one she didn't see very often from him; it was almost childlike and sad, like a kid learning for the first time that goldfish don't live forever. She had come to associate that look with him remembering his childhood, more specifically his mother. It wasn't a topic that they discussed much, but every once in a while when they were lying in bed with each other and couldn't sleep they would broach the subject of parents. She told him about running away from her grandparents, and that she wished she hadn't been so stubborn and had just gone home to her mother so they could have gotten to know each other sooner rather than later. She always ended her stories talking about her dad and telling happy tales of her childhood adventures with him. Deeks liked hearing about a good father for once, as opposed to his own.

He rarely talked about his own father anyway, but never talked about him in their late night 'now you know why I'm so messed up' sessions. Most of the time Deeks just talked about his dogs that never stayed around very long, or his grandmother who would steal him away for weeks at a time. But when he was feeling really open, he would tell her about his mom; that he would always remember her curly hair and bright blue eyes from his youth and not her frail appearance right before she died. 'She was stronger than you would think and she always tried her best,' he would always say. Apparently she just rarely made the right decisions in life. He missed her still, and it was hard for him to talk truthfully about it. Kensi could relate to this feeling, and always felt like the two of them grew closer every time they shared another piece of their past.

Not wanting to pry, Kensi nudged Deeks with her toe. "How old is this pillow anyway?"

"Not sure, I guess close to 40?" He scratched his beard. "I think Mom said she made it in Home Ec class in high school, so that would be about right. She liked cats, I think one of them lived to be like 19 or something. That damn cat used to scratch me all the time." Furrowing his brow, he ran a finger over a hole in the side of it. "It's in pretty bad shape though, maybe it's time to get rid of it."

"Nooo..." Kensi said, taking the pillow back from him to inspect it. "I can fix this."

He snorted. "You?"

"Yes, me."

"You're going to fix, and by fix I mean sew, this?"

"I took Home Ec too, I'll have you know," Kensi responded, making a face at him.

Deeks smiled at her, and she could see the sadness falling away from his face again. "Uh huh. And what grade did you get in this Home Ec class, Kensi Homemaker?"

She stared at him quietly for a moment. "C."

"Just a C?"

"Minus. C minus."

"And you want to fix my pillow with your C minus sewing skills?" He teased.

"It was a cumulative grade," she argued. "And I may have accidentally set the kitchen on fire during the cooking portion."

Deeks' smile grew even wider. "Now _that_ I believe."

"Shut up and get back to packing," Kensi growled playfully. She twisted a pink pillow tassle between her fingers as he begrudgingly stood up from the couch and started to put another box together. "I like it."

"Yeah?" He asked, glancing back at her.

"Yeah. It will look great with our new leopard print chaise lounge."

Standing upright quickly, Deeks scratches his messy hair. "We didn't order a leopard print chaise lounge."

"Okay, no, but there's one in the new catalog I just saw..."


	46. That thong tha thong thong thong

**Nell discovers the true nature of Densi's relationship when she sees a black thong sticking out of Deeks back pocket.**

* * *

><p>"Um..."<p>

Kensi tilts her head and raises her eyebrows. "Nell? You okay?"

The petite redhead grimaces. "Yeah..."

"Nell, seriously, are you sick? You look paler than usual."

Deeks perks up his ears and closes the file he's holding, tossing it on his desk to walk over to his friend. "Hey, you need me to take you home?" He places the back of his hand against her forehead and then her cheek, causing her to grimace again and shy away from him with her eyes wide. "What the...what?"

Observing the scene quietly from behind their desks, Sam and Callen lean forward with devilish grins on their faces.

Nell begins backing away from the bullpen slowly, avoiding eye contact with the very confused partners. Kensi and Deeks share a baffled look. "What. The Hell. Nell."

Wordlessly, Nell points her stylus in the direction of Deeks' jeans before turning and storming back up the stairs to Ops.

"What's wrong with my ass?" Deeks twists around in a circle like a dog chasing his tail.

"Noooo..." Kensi grabs a small piece of black fabric from the back pocket of his jeans. "Are you freaking kidding me?"

His eyes are wide and his mouth is wider as he stares at the thong in Kensi's hand. "I, uh..."

Kensi narrows her eyes at him, then glances at Sam and Callen. They are watching with great enthusiasm and she doesn't like it. "Nope," she says, dragging Deeks away towards the burn room.

Sam slides his chair back inconspicuously, trying to hear the conversation as it gets quieter and quieter.

"Why is this in your jeans?"

"I don't know! Shouldn't I be asking you that question? More importantly, are you wearing underwear right now? Cause wow, that would be-"

"These are not mine, dumbass."

"Well it's not mine!"

Sam pumps his fist in the air and claps his hands together with a huge grin on his face.

"Having fun yet?" Callen asks his partner with a smirk.

"Oh yes, definitely."

Callen shakes his head. "How dumb do they think we are?"

"Or more like, how dumb are they?" Sam rolls his chair back to his desk.

"So what's next? A pair of boxers sticking out of her car door?"

Sam makes a face. "I'm not touching Deeks' boxers."

Callen rolls his eyes. "So use yours."

"Yeah right, mine are way too big." Sam smiles proudly and shrugs. "Cause, you know."

"Yeah whatever you say, big guy."

Callen peers around the corner, seeing Kensi and Deeks returning to the bullpen with serious looks on their faces. They both offer tense smiles to the senior partners and head upstairs, presumably to apologize for frightening Nell now that they've had time to figure out a good story to tell her.

Sam smirks and Callen rolls his eyes as the pair mutter in unison. "Freaking idiots."


	47. Wet

Prompt: Kensi x Deeks: H2O.

* * *

><p>She's wet and shivering and he's panting with his hands on his hips, still tired from dragging Sam out of the ocean. Neither one of them is quite sure how Callen and Sam went from being trapped underwater in a submarine to floating almost lifeless in the ocean. Questions will be asked later, after oxygen masks are removed and the level of panic among the entire team subsides.<p>

"We almost lost them." Kensi rubs her wet arms, plaid shirt and jeans clinging to her body. "Like, we really almost lost them."

"I know," Deeks responds softly as he runs a hand through his dripping hair. He glances over at the ambulances where their senior partners are receiving medical attention. Flashes of a previous time, almost one year ago exactly, invade his memory. He and Sam were the ones being rushed into ambulances then. Who knows which of them it will be next time. "No matter how good we are at our jobs...sometimes it's just not good enough."

"It could have been us."

"Don't say that." Deeks closes his eyes and shakes his head. Tiny droplets of water fall to his face with the fast motion. "It wasn't us." He doesn't want to open his eyes, because he can feel her staring at him as if he will magically say something to make her feel better. But he just doesn't know if he can do it right now.

"Not this time."

"Kens. Stop."

"No," she says firmly, closing the already small gap between them. "You're hiding it again."

Deeks still doesn't want to open his eyes and face her. He can feel her energy radiating so, so very close to him. "What is this 'it' you're talking about?"

"I don't know exactly." She wraps a hand around his wrist and suddenly he feels a little bit warmer. "But you have that look on your face again. The one you get when you want to say something but you're afraid of the response you'll get."

"Wow." Opening his eyes again, he looks down at his partner. Her proximity to him is a little unsettling and comforting at the same time. They never have been very good at respecting personal space. "You think you've got me figured out, huh?"

"And you're avoiding the original question."

Deeks narrows his eyes for a moment and thinks about how he's actually going to answer the question. The only time he'd been completely truthful with her was after his torture, when he was already is such a fragile and vulnerable state that he just let it all out for her. But they've been through so much, together and apart, in the last year. They both deserve a little bit of honesty in a difficult time. "I almost lost you a couple of months ago and it almost killed me. I just don't want to think about, you know...when it actually does happen."

"Why does it have to be when now instead of if?" Kensi asks, shrugging her shoulders. "Plenty of agents grow old and gray and have retirement parties and live out the rest of their lives happily in their condos on the beach."

He frowns. "Okay, but how many partners grow old and gray together?"

"Are you saying you want to grow old and gray with me?"

"I-" Deeks makes a face. "Maybe. I don't want to do it without you." The ambulance catches his eye again, and he nervously looks away from her for a second. "Is that the same thing?"

"Close enough." Kensi smiles and slides her hand from his wrist down to his hand, intertwining her cold fingers with his. "I think about it every day too, you know. Wondering when we go out in the field, if it will be the last time. And it could be."

Deeks is very aware of how close she is to him and completely unaware of anything going on around him anymore. "That's my biggest fear. Even more so than losing myself in all of this, I'm scared of losing you."

She blinks rapidly and tilts her head back. "Me too. No wonder we're such good partners."

Honesty; he is a little proud of himself for being capable of it again. Her eyes are wide and full of emotion, and just the fact that she hasn't pushed his feelings to the wayside encourages him to continue. He pushes a wet strand of hair from her cheek and allows his fingers to linger there. "I meant what I said earlier. Even though you look kinda like a drowned rat right now. You are so beautiful."

He can't tell if the drop of water that fell on his hand came from her hair or her eyes. All he knows is that something more powerful than his fear is pulling him towards her and he can't seem to stop it. His lips brush hers softly at first, and it doesn't matter that they're freezing cold and wet and clammy because it feels like a wildfire spreading between them that just continues to get stronger with each passing second.

The likelihood of them growing old together on the job isn't good, and they both know it. But maybe today they will be able to start living a new way; instead of facing each new day with fear, they will live it as if it's their last.


	48. Going Home

**Post-Spoils of War, for 31 Day Challenge: Elephant in the Room Scene.**

* * *

><p>"We're going home."<p>

Deeks didn't know if his repetition of those three words was helping his sobbing partner or not. If he was being truthful to himself, he didn't know a damn thing about anything at that point in time except that she was alive and he was touching her again after dreaming for five months about what it would feel like when they were reunited.

To say that his dreams didn't come true would be an understatement. From the minute Nell told the team that Kensi was missing, every happy thought he imagined started cracking in his mind like rocks smashing into a windshield. And with every crack, his vision became more and more obstructed until he felt that he couldn't see at all. By the time he ended up lying on the floor crying with a complete stranger in his arms, he was as blind as the cleric he had just tried to torture for information. He had hit rock bottom, and thankfully there was no where to go but up.

The picture was fake, his partner was alive, and everyone was safe for now. Things were starting to become a little clearer now that Kensi was in his arms again. Ignorance was bliss sometimes, however. Marty Deeks didn't excel through law school, or pass the bar on his first try, or rise in the ranks to Detective faster than anybody else in LAPD because he was stupid. The man with Kensi wasn't just a random American captured by the Taliban. He knew it, everybody knew it, even though nobody mentioned it. She would talk about it when she was ready, just like maybe he would confess his sins when he was ready. Or maybe like so many other things in the past, these issues would be swept under the rug and forgotten; like their kiss, his torture, the night they slept together, and the reason she was chosen for the White Ghost mission in the first place.

Deeks' introspection was interrupted when Kensi pulled away from their embrace and wiped her tears with the oversized shirt she had been given at camp. His wet eyes captured hers for a moment before hers drifted to the left again. Jack. Her internal struggle was visible; it was obvious that she wanted to let him go, to stop staring at him as if she was trying to memorize his image. But she couldn't stop.

"Um," Deeks said, clearing his throat. "He, uh, he seems like a really good man."

"He was. Is. That's why I-" she paused, gathering her thoughts. "I knew that what I was led to believe wasn't true. And I was right."

"You were right," he repeated.

Kensi nodded her head, tearing her eyes away to look at her partner. "I know a good man when I see one."

Deeks opened his arms and she fell into them again. Maybe she was right about him being a good man, too. Maybe she wasn't. But that would have to be something he figured out on his own.


	49. Not a Damn Thing

"Deeks."

"What."

"You're not breathing."

"Pretty sure I am."

Sam sighed at his temporary partner from the driver's side of the Dodge Challenger. "No. You're sucking in a big breath, holding it for a minute, and then blowing it out. Loudly. I think this is even more annoying than G's nose whistling."

"If given the opportunity you would find something annoying about all of us, Sam."

"Maybe." Sam raised an eyebrow. "Not Kensi though, she's too much like me to be annoying."

Deeks laughter echoed throughout the car. And continued for a good thirty seconds before he quieted down with a contented sigh. "Oh yeah. That is rich." Voices crackled through their earwigs again and both men froze, listening to the conversation between their partners and the men in the VIP lounge of the club they were currently parked behind.

As the conversation paused again, Deeks took a deep breath. He realized he was following the same pattern of breathing that had irritated Sam just a few minutes prior and exhaled with great emphasis. "This is taking too long."

"You're too impatient."

"It's not believable." Deeks rubbed his jaw between his thumb and fingers before glaring at the smug expression on Sam's face. "They have no chemistry," he began counting reasons on his fingers. "Callen is too old for her, she is way too hot for him. Did I mention they have no chemistry? It's like listening to cousins flirt. LA stands for Los Angeles, not Lower Alabama."

Sam's eyes grew wide and he motioned for the younger man to continue. "Go on, get it out. You're clearly upset."

"I'm worried, not upset."

"Sure."

"I am."

"Of course."

Deeks sighed and clenched his jaw. "No offense to Callen, but it should be me in there. With my partner." The sound of Kensi's voice in his ear caused him to straighten in his seat as he searched for any sign of stress in her voice. Though Sam was cool as a cucumber, he also appeared much more alert as his partner discussed the time and location for the 'exchange of goods' NCIS was attempting to acquire. After the details were seemingly hemmed out and goodbye pleasantries were said, both men relaxed in their seats again.

"Partner, huh?" Sam teased.

Deeks stared wordlessly out the window at a couple walking arm in arm towards a Range Rover parked a row over. His fingers fidgeted, nervously picking at his fingernails. The heat of Sam's stare was boring into the back of his head but he pretended not to notice. The pair remained silent until a valet strutted by and retrieved the Aston Martin that Kensi and Callen had driven to the swanky club. Sam turned the ignition in his own car and the low growl of the Challenger startled Deeks from whatever thoughts were invading his mind.

Sam pulled out of the parking space slowly. "It doesn't get easier."

"What?" Deeks asked, now staring at the long line of people desperately waiting to enter the club.

"This. Being in love with your partner. It's not going to get easier."

Deeks turned his head, narrowing his eyes. "Who said-" A large hand in his face shushed him. "Okay fine. Maybe." Of course Deeks wasn't going to elaborate on how Sam's assumption was completely true, and that the feelings were reciprocated. He and Kensi had been in a relationship for months. They had done a fairly good job of keeping it away from their work altogether to avoid any questioning from coworkers or bosses. But it wasn't like everybody didn't already know.

Placing his hand back on the steering wheel, Sam allowed a small smile to flash across his face.

"So," Deeks said. "Would you care to expound on your previous statement?"

"Don't lawyer me."

"Sorry."

"I know all of this already, okay? The denial, the hiding, the acceptance. I've been there and done that. But you are never going to be okay with her putting herself in harm's way." Sam swallowed deeply, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "You think it's gonna get easier as time goes on, because you think you'll become desensitized. But it only gets harder. You make a life with this person, you wake up to them every morning and wonder if it's the last time for either one of you. Then you have kids, and it changes again. You spend your whole life worrying and wondering if you're doing the right thing, if it was all worth it in the end."

Staring at Sam, Deeks took in the SEAL's strong demeanor. He remembered how Sam's fear for his wife and family had crippled him in the past and wondered if he was staring at his future self. "So was it? Or is it?"

The same smile flashed across Sam's face. "I wouldn't change a thing. Not a damn thing."

Relief washed through Deeks and his fists that he didn't even realize he was making loosened. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"You know. For future reference, or whatever."

"Yeah. Whatever, Deeks. Whatever."


	50. Look

This has an accompanying gif on my tumblr (hermionesmydawg dot tumblr dot com). Aprylynn asked for some insight into the rooftop scene in Ascension where Deeks is staring at Andros after killing him.

* * *

><p><em>Don't look at her.<em>

Everything is heightened, from the blinding sun to the smell of gunpowder and the coppery taste of blood he thinks will never leave his mouth. The taste of revenge, of killing one of his torturers, should have cleansed his palate. It didn't.

_Look at him, you killed him._

There's so much medicine coursing through his veins that everything is a blur. He's not even sure how he ended up here, he just remembers the one thing on his mind: save the team and save Michelle so that his pain is worth something. So his life is worth something.

_Is he even dead? Maybe he's not dead. You hope he's not dead, don't you?_

But he still hurts, everywhere. He wonders why they didn't just kill him when they had the chance. It would have been too merciful, he supposes.

_Put your gun in his mouth and pull the trigger, just to make sure he's dead. Fill his mouth with blood too, watch him suffer like he watched you._

"Deeks, are you okay? What…" Kensi is looking at him in amazement, either from the surprise of his appearance on the rooftop or shock that he was able to pull himself together enough to fire his weapon. Even he doesn't know he how was able to do it.

_Do something. Lie. Just don't look at her._

He struggles, trying so hard not to look at the face that gave him a reason to live when he just wanted to die. When he sees her now, he can't separate the image of her from the pain anymore. How can he make it go away? He needs to make it go away.

_Maybe just for a second. You really do love her smile._

"I'm good." He swallows and tries not to retch. "You good?"

"Yeah. I'm good." And she smiles.

_Look away before she sees what you've become. You might never see her smile again._


	51. So Wrong

Addition to the morgue scene from 6x02, Inelegant Heart.

* * *

><p>"Come on, I'll buy you a new one on the way back to the boatshed."<p>

Shaking his head, Deeks pointed to her t-shirt. "I doubt it, because this isn't some Target special like you wear, this shirt cost $50."

"That's just ridiculous," Kensi scoffed. "Wait, how do you know I buy my shirts at Target?"

He grinned. "You're my partner, it's the same reason I know the only things in your fridge are a new 12-pack of cheap beer and an old jar of olives. It's my job to know everything about you."

"You don't know everything about me," she said, dropping her eyes to the dead man and waving her hand dismissively.

"Hmm," he hummed, staring at her with his lips puckered. "Maybe. Not yet anyway."

Kensi tapped her gloved fingers impatiently on the cold metal of the morgue drawer. "Seriously. Take your shirt off."

"Seriously, no," Deeks replied, spreading his arms wide. "It's really cold in here."

"It's a morgue, you idiot, of course it's cold." She pointed at the dead naked body, covered only by a thin sheet, between them. "We can't take naked pictures of a dead guy, that's just gross."

"Okay, because acting out Weekend at Bernie's with a dead guy in a very expensive t-shirt isn't gross. It's only gross if he's naked?" His fingers rose to his inquisitive expression, but he thought better of touching himself with his designated dead guy gloves.

Kensi closed her eyes and sighed. "I just, ugh-"

"Are you gonna ask me to take my jeans off, too?" He interrupted.

Eyes wide, she looked back and forth between Deeks and the inside of the morgue drawer in horror. Obviously if she had to have one of them pants-less, it would be Deeks. But in a morgue? _No_.

Her apparent turmoil over the question made him feel a bit guilty, so he ended her suffering. "Okay fine, that was maybe too much. Besides, it might break my heart if you said you didn't want me to take my pants off. So I'll make a deal with you."

"Fine," she groaned. "What?"

He straightened his shoulders, thrusting his chest out. "I'll take mine off if you take yours off."

"You have officially lost your mind."

"Okay, have fun trying to squeeze your little smedium tee on this guy. Although, that gray won't do any favors to his ghostly pallor…"

Her fist slammed on the table, the thud echoing through the cold room. "Fine. On three, shirts come off."

"Thank you. One."

"Two."

"Three." Deeks lifted his shirt over his head by the collar while Kensi tugged hers up by the bottom hem, revealing a plain nude push-up bra. He made no qualms about staring, a pleased grin lighting up his face.

"Happy now?" Kensi asked, pretending as if she wasn't staring at him as well. _Morgue_, _morgue, morgue_, she repeated in her head. Not the time or place to ogle. But damn.

He was still grinning and staring. "Happy's not the word I was thinking, but sure. Happy works."

"Great," she said, promptly putting her shirt back on despite grunts of protest from her partner. "You get the top, I'll get his feet."

His grin was gone, replaced by a very dissatisfied glare. He had been bested by semantics and just had to accept it. "Not happy anymore," he grumbled, slipping his arms in his shirt and sliding it under the dead man's shoulders.

She nodded to his bare chest. "You look cold," she said, making a disgusted face as she grabbed the freezing cold, lifeless feet. "Try not to poke his eye out with those pointers you've got there."

"That's…not even funny." Lifting in unison, the pair carried the body quickly across the room to a desk chair. "This is so wrong, this is so wrong, this is so wrong."

"Oh God," Kensi shuddered. "He's so limp and floppy."

"That's not what any guy wants to hear, Kens. He's already dead, don't add insult to injury."

"I'm going to injure you if you don't shut up."

Deeks moved behind the desk chair and Kensi tucked the sheet under the body as they eased him into a sitting position. As soon as they let go, the body starting sliding out of the chair.

"Dammit," he gritted through chattering teeth. Heaving the body back up, he held him in position and slipped his favorite shirt over the man's head. "Have I mentioned how wrong this is? Because this is so wrong."

Kensi glared at him as she pulled a small makeup bag out of her back pocket. "Still waiting for you to shut up."

Clenching his jaw, he held the cold head up in silence, watching Kensi's normally cool face turn greener and greener with each swipe of liquid foundation against the stretchy skin. He was freezing and more than a little queasy and just wanted all of this to be over. "I think he looks good enough."

"One second…" she said quietly. She applied a bit of blush to the cheeks and observed her handiwork. "Okay. This was definitely not worth wasting $100 of makeup, but he looks pretty good."

"You mock my shirts, but you spend that much on makeup and don't even need it." He rested the limp head against the back of the seat and opened the man's eyes. "Quick, take a picture before he falls down. Or comes back to life."

Kensi took her gloves off and pulled out her phone, taking a picture quickly. "Ugh, your nipple is in this picture."

"Oh, hell." He ducked down on the ground, blindly holding the head in place. "So, so wrong."

"Okay, got it."

"Finally." Standing up with a grimace, Deeks looked down at the dead man wearing his favorite shirt. "Promise me that when I die, you won't do my funeral make-up."

That was just one step too far for Kensi. "How can-" she sputtered. "Don't say things like that."

"Sorry, we-"

"_No_," she said firmly. "We don't make jokes about that. It's too…real. Okay?"

It was too real, much too real for them. He nodded apologetically. "Okay."

The process of undressing, removing makeup, and re-placing the body in it's appropriate drawer was much quieter and more respectful than the shenanigans from before. After tossing his shirt, her makeup, and their gloves in the biohazard trash, they washed up and exited the cold building into the warm California sunshine.

Deeks stood in the sunlight, basking in the warmth. "I love California."

Now that they were no longer in the presence of the deceased, Kensi took a minute to admire her shirtless, handsome, and perfectly California partner. "Oh yes. Me too." She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tugged him towards her Cadillac. "Come on, I'll buy you a shirt."

"A $50 shirt?"

She smiled. "If it looks as good on you as the last one, absolutely."


	52. Sleeping

Prompt: Kensi doesn't get a text at the beginning of 6x03.

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><p>God, her ass is killing her.<p>

For the last few months, the first thought that pops into Kensi's head every morning is that something is hurting like a motherfucker. Not because she's getting old, or in bad shape, or even injured. No, it's the human blanket, a rather attractive but possibly a bit too fluffy human blanket, that somehow manages to sleep next to or literally on top of her every night.

Not that she is complaining…out loud, anyway. Deeks gives her such an amazing sense of security that she dare not ask him why the hell he is sleeping at her apartment every night. Why does his dog have food and a bed at her place? Is Monty even his dog anymore, or is he their dog? Why are there more size L vneck shirts in her room than M? And if she goes to work in his jeans one more time, people are going to start to become really suspicious. At least he washes her clothes, although his idea of folding is dumping the basket on her bed.

Don't even get her started on his apparent fear of_ the bed_, which is obviously a more comfortable yet impossible sleeping option for the pair. The most action her bed has seen in the last few months was a wrestling match over the last snickerdoodle. And really, Monty was right: it was his cookie. Considering that her ass hurts and her legs are full of pins and needles from lack of circulation, sleeping in her bed would be really nice. Sleeping next to him, nuzzled into his smooth bare chest…that would be really nice.

Someday, she's going to wake up and confront him with the frustrations that plague her.

She's going to ask why he can't bear to spend a night away from her but won't even mention sleeping _with her_. She'll tell him that his hands on her calves and breath on her thighs drives her mad and that she wants him, all of him. She'll find out what they are to each other now; friends, roommates, or the normal response…partners. In a world where partners sleep on each other's asses and live in a state of denial about their cohabitation status, of course.

Kensi blinks her eyes and adjusts to the light of her TV, still on AMC from the night before. Maybe this morning will be the day that she finally gets her answers? But as soon as she sees him, sleeping contently across the lower half of her body, she realizes it won't be that day. The fear that she could drive him away, that his blond curls won't be the first thing she touches every morning, is too strong. He must have his reasons. She might not be ready to hear them.

So today, they're just "partners" again.

Maybe tomorrow.


	53. Cold

**Prompt: Deeks gets stabbed.**

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><p>It wasn't supposed to end like this.<p>

Going back to LAPD to help catch a gun smuggling ring was supposed to be his chance at redemption, to prove his worth as a cop and undercover operative and decent human being. Right now, he is pretty sure none of those things are true. He has gone too far for his cover, and nearly lost himself in the process. The lengths he has gone to this time to prove Max's loyalty- the guns, the drugs, the violence- haven't been worth it.

_"It's so easy to be us though, isn't it?"_

Max's voice taunts his mind, or maybe it's his own voice. These days he has trouble distinguishing the difference between the two characters of Marty Deeks and Max Gentry. He is starting to wonder if they might actually be one and the same. Marty wouldn't have beaten a suspect within an inch of his life for punching his partner. Max wouldn't have tears in his eyes as he lay perfectly still on the cold floor of this abandoned warehouse, trying to pretend the blade in his gut ended his miserable life as the stabbing pain and warm blood on his hands reminds him that he is still alive.

_"Quit your crying, boy."_

Great. If the shitty ghost of his father is talking to him, he must really be dying. What a great reminder of what he could have been, or possibly should have been. A brief thought crosses his mind and he wonders if this is his destiny after all, to die as a criminal. He doesn't know what hurts more, his physical or emotional pain. He will never forgive himself for shooting the man who's place he needed to take so he could move deeper into the operation. All he has ever wanted to do was help people that needed it, because no matter who you are or where you came from, you deserved a fighting chance in life. And he doesn't want to die like this, right now. There is too much left to do. Max can die. Marty can't.

_"You promised me, Deeks."_

**No**, he can't think about her right now. The blood on his hands is turning cold and tears are pouring down his face, but he manages to remain still and quiet despite the sudden commotion around him. His handler could have gotten his message, or Eric could have deciphered the email he sent him. Somebody had to know that he had been made, that he was walking into a trap. He had put up a good fight when he was outed, but lost. At least they didn't blow his brains out, if that was any consolation. If only Kensi had - **NO** - been there to back him up. Maybe they would have won.

_"You should have told me you loved me before you left."_

Deeks wishes he could hear the real Kensi say those words to him. He would tell her she's right, and that he would shout it from the rooftops if he was able to. But she's not here. His partner, his friend, his entire world is somewhere else while he is dying alone. If he opens his eyes, he can almost see her. She's strong yet terrified and her eyes are shiny but she's calling for help and saying she's not going to leave him. If he gets the chance, he'll never leave her again. He's pretty sure he's missed that chance, though.

"Kens," he thinks he says. Things aren't very clear at all. "I'm sorry I broke my promise."

She's shaking her head and muttering no over and over. The real Kensi would punch him in the arm for getting himself in this situation, he's sure of it. This Kensi keeps telling him that he's going to be okay, that help is on the way. That can't be true.

"I should have told you…" Deeks knows he's talking this time, because it hurts, it hurts so damn much but he just needs to say it even if nobody can hear him. "I love you. Before I died."

A soft pressure is applied to his lips and all of a sudden he has hope again. He realizes that he's not dead, she's really here and her hands are on his face and in his hair and he feels comfort, finally, after all of these months without her. "I think you just did," she whispers.

He closes his eyes and just concentrates on breathing to make sure he doesn't stop. With her by his side, he knows he can make it.


	54. Falling

Kensi is pretty sure that her partner is trying extremely hard not to laugh at her. He keeps narrowing his eyes and clearing his throat, so she is pretty sure he is hiding something. "What?"

Deeks taps the top of her white, thin shell helmet. "Nothing. I just can't believe you've never attempted skateboarding before." Then he thumps her elbow pads and makes an annoyingly smug and adorable face. She hates it. She loves it.

"Well," she replies haughtily, adjusting her knee pads. "I can't believe you still hum the bunny ears song when you tie your shoes." Maybe she has gone a little overboard with the protective equipment, but you can never be too safe. Unless of course, you're a federal agent that dodges bullets better than a skinny kid playing dodgeball. But that's her job - she's not getting paid to bust her ass falling off of a skateboard.

He scowls. "There is - I don't do that."

"Your knot is quite beautiful and bold," she teases and points to his sneakers, a fairly uncommon sight for her to see outside of the gym.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." But his wide grin gives away the truth. He definitely does it, and just thinking about it makes her smile. Dropping his and her skateboards to the ground, Deeks steps onto his and holds his hand out to help her.

Stubborn as always, Kensi steps up unaided. "You don't have to hold my hand."

"So you don't want me to hold your hand?" It should be illegal for his eyes to be able to twinkle that damn much.

"I can do this." She holds her head up proudly. "It's basic physics, Newton's Law of Motion."

"Fine." Deeks pushes off with his right foot and she copies him, albeit a little slower. She watches the back of his head as it tilts curiously. "Wait, did you Google how to skateboard?"

Yes. "No."

He pivots to face her with his arms crossed, coasting to a stop. "Okay, Madam Curie, show me what you got."

Kensi propels herself forward with her back foot, flying past him. "See? Piece of cake."

"You're just going in a straight line, even dogs can do that," he calls out as she rolls further and further away. Actually not just away, downhill. "Can you turn?"

"Yup!" Balancing herself, she bends her knees and tilts her body slowly. The skateboard adjusts with her and she changes direction with ease. "I still don't see what the big deal is!"

Since he can barely hear her anymore, Deeks pushes off again so he can try to catch up with her. There is one more test she needs to pass for him to be satisfied. "Hey Kens?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stop?"

Kensi balances herself and looks down at her feet, trying to remember which one she is supposed to put on the ground to slow herself down. Is it her front foot or back foot? In the midst of her confusion, she fails to pay attention to the path in front of her - the next thing she knows, she's tumbling to the concrete.

Another skateboard rolls to a stop behind her as she stares at the ground, worrying more about her bruised ego than her scraped hands. This certainly isn't her most graceful moment.

"It's okay." Deeks kneels in front of her, reaching out to help her sit up again. She braces for the onslaught of jokes and teases that, amazingly, never come. Instead he brushes the dirt off of the scratched palm of her hand and applies a gentle kiss. "Practice makes perfect."

A lot of practice is going to be absolutely, positively necessary. She has never looked more forward to repeatedly falling on her ass in her entire life.


	55. Ready

Yes, I am laughing at myself for this one. :)

* * *

><p><em>Sniff sniff sniff.<em>

"Seriously, dog." Kensi huffs and taps her foot impatiently. "We've been gone all day and you stole my donut off the counter, so I know you've eaten. Just…poop dammit." Monty narrows his puppy dog eyes at her warily and keeps sniffing, hiking his leg up to pee on a bush. "You've pissed twenty times, what the hell…"

A rustling sound behind her startles her, but the dog isn't alarmed so she's pretty sure she shouldn't be either. She knows full well that it's Deeks, but still turns around to check. For her safety obviously, not because she really wants to look at him. She sees him for about eighteen hours a day and should be really sick of his face by now. Somehow, she's not. "You scared me," she accuses softly.

"No, I didn't," he responds, twisting a plastic bag in his hands. "No deposit yet?"

"Of course not," she growls. "Poooooooop."

Deeks shrugs. "A watched pot never boils, and a watched dog never shits."

"Spare me the philosophical speeches tonight, Deeks."

"Come on." He senses her frustration and takes Monty's leash from her, heading back towards her apartment. It's been a long day as usual, and they opted to eat at her apartment after work. He knows he'll stay the night there, just as she does. This happens every night now. Does it make sense? Not really. Does it provide a great comfort to both of them? Yes. Do they discuss what this means as far as the status of their relationship? Hell no. "I'll take him back out later."

Sighing, Kensi drags along behind them. "Sometimes I wonder if he even likes me."

"Really?" He ruffles the mutt's ears. "Monty loves you. He just…has his own ways of showing it." Stopping on the sidewalk, Deeks turns to face her in the dark. His blue eyes are bright and intense under the street lights, his gaze slightly unnerving. At some point Kensi is going to have to tell him exactly what it does to her when he looks at her in such a way. "Trust me."

"I believe you," she says sincerely, petting Monty's back. "He'll poop when he's ready."

Deeks laughs loudly, tugging on the leash. "Wow, the things we talk about."

Kensi snorts and holds back the comment she desperately wants to shoot back at him. _Yeah. And all the things they don't talk about._


	56. Good Company

**Post-Ep, 6x08 The Grey Man.**

* * *

><p>Sometimes, it's just the thought that counts. With Kensi's cooking, that is always the case. Deeks is pretty sure the Chef Boyardee Spaghetti and Meatballs that she cooked (microwaved) is going to leave a permanent orange film on his teeth. Hell, it managed to stain the can it came in. A <em>can<em>. And the expiration date is at least five years from now. There is no universe in which this is a healthy meal.

But she looks so damn pleased with herself, and seems to find this pseudo Italian delicatezza absolutely delicious. If this garbage makes her that happy, he would probably be content to eat it for the rest of his life - however long or short it may be.

She grins a toothy, orange smile at him and asks with her mouth full, "Good?"

"Oh yeah," he lies, taking another bite. It's not the worst thing he's ever eaten in his life, he guesses. Kensi narrows her eyes suspiciously, and he remembers her earlier statement that he was unable to fool her anymore. Maybe she was right, maybe she wasn't. Lying had always come easily to him, just like jokes and deflection. Somehow none of those things are as easy with her anymore. It scares him, just a little bit.

"Sorry it's not homemade, like Sam makes it," she says, pouting too much for it to seem sincere.

Deeks takes another bite of his dinner. "The company is better." Not a lie, not at all. She meets his eyes in the way that makes him uncomfortably excited and nervous and horny and elated all at the same time.

She opens her mouth, and he's sure she's about to make some sort of comment about his own less than stellar cooking when he interrupts her. "About earlier, when I…feigned ignorance. It's not that I didn't want to know. But I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me anything that you don't feel comfortable talking about."

She fidgets with her plastic spork. "I thought you said partners don't keep secrets?"

True, he did say that a few weeks ago. It was a rather hypocritical statement on his part, but she was visibly upset and he can't stand to see her upset. Kensi is the strongest person he knows, and just being around her makes him stronger. "You know, I have this theory about you."

"Really."

"Yeah," he muses. "You are an actual real-life superhero."

She scoffs loudly and food almost flies out of her mouth. "Hardly. And you have a serious obsession with superheroes, just saying."

"Hear me out." He takes a swig of water, but it doesn't wash down the slime of canned tomato sauce. "Superheroes all have to face some sort of obstacle, right? Well, the cool ones anyway. Take Superman, he has a weakness in kryptonite. But he's still awesome and saves the world, just like you. So just because you have things about yourself that you don't think are your best qualities, it doesn't mean that you're not still Badass Blye. Those things help make you who you are, and make you more badass than if you were perfect."

That whole spiel didn't really come out as well as he wanted, but he still thinks she understands the point he is trying to make. She tilts her head, her expression warm and soft - a far cry from the hardened look she gave the charred man with the meat cleaver before she blew him away. This is a look Deeks sees from her more and more often now, and he thinks maybe she saves it just for him. "Thanks. But you know I don't want-"

"Not sympathy," he interrupts. "Just truth."

"Okay…" she trails off. "Since we're being so honest today."

"Yes, this tastes like shit," Deeks says, making a face as he puts his bowl down on her coffee table.

"Ugh, shut up." Kensi tucks her feet under her legs and leans back on her couch cushions. "I like it just fine."

"Obviously, you ate a whole family size."

"Again. Shut up."

Deeks settles next to her on her cushion, placing a hand on her knee. "I'll shut up. But I'd love to hear all about Badass Blye: The Awkward Teenage Years."

She curls her nose up, maybe in an attempt to cover the flush on her cheeks. "You might be in for a long night."

"Nowhere else I'd rather be."


	57. I Know

**Post-ep for 6x09, Traitor.**

* * *

><p>"Okay, Mr. Know-it-All," Kensi says, leaning against her cold Cadillac. The California air feels like November for once, and suddenly she has a taste for turkey, stuffing, and cranberries. Pie too, pecan, like she had that Thanksgiving at Camp Lejune. Those were good memories. "If you know me so well, what am I craving right now?"<p>

Deeks stands close in front of her, way too close probably. The Wonder Twins will be leaving the boatshed soon and she doesn't want to deal with the knowing looks from Nell. She has perfected Hetty's gorgon stare, and it's kind of annoying. A stare that's not as annoying as it used to be? That would be the one coming from her partner right now. Twisting his fingers in his belt loops, he rolls back on his heels. "Would this be a food craving, or a-"

"Food, Deeks."

"Damn," he says with a grin. "I'm going to go with more sea-urchin burger."

"Not even close." Kensi rolls her eyes. "If you knew everything, you would know that I eat real burgers with grease and cheese, and don't skimp on the bacon."

"I would never skimp on the bacon."

"But that's not the point," she sighs. "Remembering tiny details doesn't mean you know me, it means you have a good memory."

"That should win me some points, though, yeah?"

She grins. "It does." Deeks' fingers in his belt loops are awfully distracting, but she's trying not to stare (drool) at them. The drool could possibly be blamed on hunger and not on her mild obsession with his jeans. "I know you just as well as you know me. And I don't even have the advantage of having violated your privacy by reading your diary."

"I thought you said it was a journal."

"_I_ write in a journal," she responds pointedly, and actually pokes him in his chest. "_You_ write in a diary."

Deeks tilts his head, smiling slightly. "I like to keep track of all of my undercover identities. You never know when I might need one. Details, my dear, are the difference between life and death."

"Hmm," she nods. Serious Deeks is hot. Okay, all Deeks is hot, but there is something different about his serious side that sends shivers down her spine and tingles...well, everywhere. He really needs to quit fidgeting with his belt. He's been doing it all damn day.

"I know that you're cold," he murmurs, taking a step even closer to her.

Kensi's not even sure how he knows that, but he's right as usual. "I know that you're going to offer me your hoodie."

"I know you're going to say no." Deeks shakes his head. "So stubborn."

"But you still don't know what I-"

"Thanksgiving," he interrupts. "You want turkey, and gravy, and cranberry...sauce? Yeah sauce, the nasty kind that plops out of the can. _That_ is what you're craving."

Kensi's mouth drops open in amazement. _How the hell? _But he hasn't won this argument yet. "Okay yes, you're right." His eyes light up the dark night. "But wait. I think I know something about you."

"Oh really? What's that?"

Yanking his belt loops, she closes the gap between their bodies completely. "You're not wearing underwear today."

He scoffs, slightly flustered. "I..."

Biting her bottom lip, she tugs on his jeans again. "And I love it."


	58. Interrupted

**This was supposed to be for a 5 sentence drabble prompt, but I failed in that aspect. :)**

* * *

><p>The click-clack of her low-heeled boots sync perfectly with the furious swing of her arms as she storms through the quiet halls of the Mission. It's Christmas Eve and she's working. It's Christmas Eve and she won't be able to go home to see her family. It's Christmas Eve and she is hyperaware of how sad and lonely her life has become. Again.<p>

All Nell needs is a damn agent to sign off on some paperwork. She knows they're all still here, save for Sam. He actually has a family. But she's not bitter. Not for that reason, anyway. She might be bitter that everybody is apparently hiding from her like they would hide from Hetty. She misses the good old days, before she was treated like heir apparent to the czar of the Office of Special Projects. A voice in the back of her mind tells her to stop acting like Hetty so they won't treat her that way. She ignores it.

A muffled laugh catches her attention and she spins on her heels, stomping toward the quiet chatter. It's probably Kensi and Deeks, flirting like the stupid idiots they are. Boy, she is really going to let them have it when she finds them. Gritting her teeth and clenching her fists, she turns the corner with a huff- and stops dead in her tracks.

The partners are leaning against the wall, her hand resting on his hip while his gently cups her neck. Kensi is practically melting into him as he whispers in her ear before softly kissing her cheek, and then her lips. Nell's face flushes and she loosens her fists, watching the tender moment between the two maybe-lovers. Her mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out. For once, she is unable to force herself to interrupt the pair.

Spinning around again, Nell tiptoes away before she is caught staring in wide-eyed amazement. This isn't the first time she's seen two people in a passionate embrace, so she doesn't know why this incident is having such an effect on her. It must just be the holidays. She needs to put her game face back on so she can hunt down Agent Callen, the only other person left in the building that can fulfill her needs.

Paperwork needs, that is. Just...paperwork.


	59. Skating

There's no logical explanation for why this California surfer boy looks like a professional on the ice.

At least, that's what Kensi is telling herself as she watches her partner skate around the outdoor rink with ease. Her cold hands grip the even colder support bar as she balances herself, trying to remember how long it's been since she attempted ice skating. The last memory she has involved holding both of her parents' hands, and the loving glance that passed between them as they slowly skated together as a family. It had been twenty years ago, at least.

Watching the couples skate, she realizes how romantic this actually is. Holding hands, supporting each other, incidental touching if one person falls into the other - it's sweet, and fun, and it's something that she never knew until that moment that she wanted to do. Watching her partner show off his moves, she smiles to herself and thinks she might need a little bit of practice first. She probably just needs a few laps around the rink to regain her balance, and then she'll be able to skate circles around Deeks. Maybe.

A whoosh breaks her out of her daydream as Deeks skids to a halt (in overly dramatic fashion of course) right beside her. He's slightly out of breath and his cheeks are bright and rosy. "You see anything suspicious?"

She shakes her head. "Nothing has caught my eye. I think keeping everybody out in public turned out to be a good idea. Although, Sam's gonna break a hip if he falls on the ice one more time."

"I worry more about him breaking the ice than the ice breaking him," he says with a smirk. His eyes drop to her white knuckles on the support bar, and he extends a hand to her. "Come on, skate with me."

Kensi raises an eyebrow but removes her hand anyway, placing it in his. He is surprisingly warm, and that warmth radiates through her from her head to her icy cold toes. "I can skate on my own," she says defensively. Not that she wants him to (ever) let go.

"Of course you can." Sure enough, after adjusting to the skates and finding her balance, she is skating beside him with ease. She's not about to attempt a Salchow by any means, but she's holding her own and having fun. A lot of fun.

"We should do this again," she blurts out. "I mean, if we can manage to not instigate a shoot-out today, which is highly unlikely, so we'll probably be banned for life. So yeah...nevermind. Bad idea."

Deeks smiles warmly at her and squeezes her hand. "No. We should definitely do this again."


	60. Safe Gift

"Don't be nosy."

"I'm not nosy, I'm just curious."

Kensi drags Deeks along behind her as he turns his head to look at Joelle Taylor one more time. "It's none of your business, Deeks."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he sighs and bumps his shoulder into hers. "Right, of course. But don't you kinda want to know, too?"

He doesn't have to explain what he wants to know - she understands. The team doesn't share many details of their romantic lives with each other. What kind of woman is Joelle? And how does Callen act when he's not...well, Callen. Is he the same sassy yet serious guy they know, or is he completely different? Is it possible that he actually has a sweet, romantic side? Which one is real, or is any of it real? Is it ever real?

"No, I don't need to," she answers quietly. "They're both going to end up hurt in the end, anyway."

"You don't know that," Deeks says crossly.

"Oh come on. Besides Sam, how many agents do you know that are happily married?" He purses his lips, thinking quietly. "See, you can't think of any. Because how can you give all of yourself to somebody when they don't even know who you truly are?"

He places a hand on her arm to stop her. "What makes you think nobody can know you? The real you?"

She stops, glancing at his hand. This conversation would be generic with any other agent, but somehow with Deeks it means so, so much more. If there is anybody is this world that she feels comfortable revealing the good and the bad and the real parts of herself to, it's him. She clears her throat and meets his gaze. "Does anybody really-"

"I know you," he interrupts, tilting his head. "Don't make me list even more little known facts about the infamous Kensi Blye. I have all day." She rolls her eyes and starts to walk away, but he's not finished. "For example. You would totally give a safe gift."

Ironically, she had a feeling he would say those exact words to her. She knows him pretty well, too, it seems. "Is that so?"

"I have no doubt."

"Hmm. Maybe you're right." Kensi ducks her head, her hair hiding the smug look on her face. "I guess we'll just have to see."


	61. Santa Baby

Something soft and fluffy is obstructing his breathing. Usually when he wakes up to this sort of tickling sensation, the fuzzy offender is Monty's tail. But this...this smells way too much like heaven to be his dog. And the soft, warm back pressed against his chest? Definitely human, possibly even super human.

Deeks blinks, adjusting his eyes to the morning sun streaming in through a nearby window. The light is casting a glow on the other occupant of his bed, a beautiful, naked, brunette...

"Santa?" He asks, blowing the tip of her Santa hat off of his nose. Then he remembers the events of the night before - Christmas Eve, the drive up to Mammoth, a nice steak dinner with wine, then even more wine, the random acquisition of a Santa hat, Kensi's thrilling rendition of "Santa Baby", laughter that turned to kisses, kisses that turned frantic as he literally shook in anticipation, and the most restful night's sleep he'd had in ages.

He tightens his arm around her waist, pulling her as close as possible. She stirs slightly as he kisses the curve of her neck. "You stole my hat," he grunts.

"Looks better on me anyway," she replies sleepily.

"Won't argue with that." He closes his eyes and nestles into his pillow, listening to her breathing in the quiet room. Screw snowboarding, spending all day in bed with Kensi was starting to feel like the best way to spend Christmas Day. And leaving Monty with his neighbor was the second smartest thing he had done all week. "Hey Kens?"

Kensi yawns and arches her back. "Yeah?"

"Do you think Santa delivers to ski resorts?"

She snorts and laces her fingers through his. "I know he does."

"And how do you know that?" He also wonders if room service has waffles and bacon, but that question can wait till later.

Twisting her head around, she peaks out from under the Santa hat still on her head. "Because I got what I asked for."

His chest tightens and the only response he can muster is a soft kiss to her lips. This Santa had just given him the best Christmas present in the world.


	62. New Year

Prompt: New Years kiss.

* * *

><p>Monty's barking wakes him first.<p>

"Go back to sleeeeep," he drawls to the agitated dog before drifting back to neverland.

A loud, repetitive popping sound wakes her next. She is not so quick to dismiss the noise, sitting up in a panic as she looks around the small apartment. But there was no desert, nor automatic weapon yielding members of the Taliban, to be seen. There was simply a dimly lit apartment, with a distant TV playing the sounds of cheers and celebration. Oh, and a pissed off mutt pacing the floor next to the bed.

"Fireworks," Kensi whispers, trying to calm her racing heart. "It's New Years." A snort erupts from her throat as she turns to look at Deeks' goofy yet peaceful (and oh yes, naked) form laying next to her in bed.

They might have started their celebration a little early, with one or two (or ten) drinks at Deeks' favorite bar, then stumbled back to his apartment. Then the celebration really began - the clothes scattered, the headboard banged, the neighbors yelled, and they passed out in a happy pile of nakedness in each other's arms.

"Kiss!" Kensi shouts, startling Deeks awake again.

"Wha?"

"Midnight, we missed midnight and the kiss and -," she pauses, taking a deep breath as he looks at her in a state of confusion. "It's what couples do on New Years." She points to the clock on his nightstand, glowing 12:09 in red. "And we missed it."

Deeks really should be looking at her worried face, but he's too distracted by her barely covered naked body to force his eyes upward. "It's not a law. Just a stilly stuperstition."

"A what?"

"Superstition. Or tradition. I dunno." He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, because the two of them always seem to miss opportunities that are well within their grasp. It's just their fate, it seems. But not tonight. He rolls over and blinks his eyes at his clock before he begins to tinker with the buttons.

She cocks her head curiously, unable to see what he is up to until he pushes himself upright in the bed and she can see the clock - 11:59. Grinning mischievously, he slides over to her and pulls her into his lap, counting to 60 in his head as he peppers her now laughing body with kisses. As the clock strikes midnight for the second time that night, he kisses her softly on the lips. "Happy New Year."

Kensi is thankful for the poor lighting at that moment - it hides the flush in her cheeks and the lone tear in her eye. She wraps her arms around his neck and squeezes so hard that she fears she might hurt him. "Happy New Year."


	63. Good Consequences

They come home, like normal. Though it wouldn't seem normal to some people, it is to them and that's what they need - normal, safe, predictable.

Deeks drops a bag of half-eaten burritos on the coffee table, grabs Monty and his leash, and heads out the door again without speaking a word. That, Kensi muses to herself, is not normal. Every day now presents a new challenge, a new hurdle for them to clear on their track to happiness. Miraculously, all the hurdles are still standing. So far, anyway.

She's waiting for him with a beer in hand when he returns, which he accepts with a nod but sets on the table. "Thanks."

"Of course," she replies casually, rocking back on her heels. The tension is thick - she knows why, but not how to break it. "So yeah, I think you said something about there being consequences to my actions earlier?"

He grins, picking up on the flirtatious nature of her words. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. I guess now is as good a time as any, huh?"

"Um," she says. "Look, I was just trying to-"

Deeks interrupts her with a hug instead of a kiss (again, not normal). But it feels good, and feels almost necessary. It's nice, really, to have somebody to come home with after a bad day at work. She rubs his back reassuringly. "He's going to be fine, you know. Callen, I mean."

"I know," he answers. "And Sam will be okay. And it wasn't us. This time."

And there it is. "Hey," she squeezes him harder. "Even if it was us, we would be fine too. Better than fine, even."

"But it's not the same," he mutters. "They're impossibly close, but it's not...the same."

"No...but nothing's the same anymore."

"You have a point there." Deeks pulls away, and even though he tries to look mischievous, the love in his eyes can't be hidden. "You wouldn't have trusted me to disarm that bomb, even just a year ago."

"Hey, that's not true. You, me, and bombs are like a match made in heaven," she responds jokingly, pinching his love handles through his hoodie. She kind of doesn't want to keep her hands off of him, and she doesn't ever want him to make his sad puppy face again. "Okay yeah, maybe I was a little nervous today. But I trusted that you could do it."

"Thank you, partner." Thumbing her cheek, she closes her eyes and melts a little bit into his touch.

It's true, she does trust him. With bombs, guns, body, and heart - they are partners in every aspect now. Things definitely aren't the same as they used to be - and she loves it.


	64. Tease

Marty Deeks could be an evil, evil man.

It started off being her fault, Kensi figured. She shouldn't have snoozed her alarm that morning, choosing beauty sleep over making her hair look perfect. A ponytail was perfectly acceptable for work, so why not catch a few more Zs instead? Although, the snooze button doesn't work too well if you accidentally turn the alarm off completely.

A strange, but extremely pleasant, tickling sensation on her chest finally broke her from her slumber. She remained perfectly still on her back, popping one eye open to investigate her morning tickle monster. A messy mop of blond hair was migrating southward down her body, leaving soft kisses on her skin on its way. Now _this_ was the way to wake up, she thought, closing her eye again. As his lips kissed right below her belly button, she let out a contented sigh.

"Oh, you're awake." Kensi's eyes shot open and looked down at her partner as he sat back on his heels. "That's a shame, I was just about to really start having fun." He grinned widely and rolled off of the bed. "Come on, we're gonna be late."

That was strike number one.

Later at work, she found herself being easily distracted by him. Some days he dressed a little frumpy, then others he wore jeans and tee shirts that fit so well that they looked like somebody had painted them on his tanned skin. The latter rang true that day, and it wasn't necessarily a good thing. In fact, it was a terrible thing.

They were all in the armory, packing their guns and ammunition and suiting up with vests and knives. Kensi was already packed and pulling her vest over her head when something caught her attention - Deeks was kneeling down by a case of gun parts, and his impossibly tight jeans were sitting low on his hips. His underwear was showing, of course, because it always freaking did (not that she ever complained about it). As he stood up and pulled his vest on, his tight blue tee shirt rose up just enough to reveal the tiny trail of blond hairs that led down to the waistband of his gray boxer briefs.

Her lips parted and she gasped, staring like an idiot at her partner. Her eyes traveled up and down, unable to decide which was more appealing to her - his ass in the tight dark denim or his biceps bulging from his too-small tee shirt. She needed to remind herself that she was still a little pissed about her anticlimactic wake-up that morning, and that ogling him wasn't going to make her feel any better about it.

"Something wrong, Kensi?"

"Huh?" She turned her head to see Sam and Callen with concerned looks on their faces. "What?"

Sam nodded in her partner's direction. "You were looking at Deeks kinda funny."

"Yeah," Callen agreed. "You definitely zoned out for a minute there."

"Deep in thought, maybe?"

"I don't think I wanna know what she was thinking."

Kensi scowled at the senior partners. God, it was annoying when they acted like a gossipy old couple. "Really guys?"

Deeks finished adjusting his vest and turned his head in her direction. His expression was worried initially, but quickly turned into a smile when he recognized the flushed look on her face. "You uh, you okay, Kens?"

"I'm fine," she growled. "I was just...looking at your guns."

Callen snorted. Sam chuckled.

"Oh what," Deeks flexed his right arm, showing off his bicep. "You mean these guns?"

Sam and Callen shared an amused look before grabbing their gear and heading out the door, while Kensi angrily jammed her knife into thigh sheath. Once they were alone, she grumbled obscenities under her breath and glared at her boyfriend.

His smile was completely unaffected by the daggers shooting from Kensi's eyes. "Oh, come on partner."

"I hate you," she muttered.

He laughed and threw an arm over her shoulder. "I know you do."

_Yup_. Strike number two.

Kensi was able to forgive him while they were out in the field, because there were far more important things for her to worry about with bullets flying around them. Like just keeping him alive, for example. She would resume her annoyance once they were back at work, and then back at her place, safely.

It was hard to stay mad at Deeks, though. And it wasn't like she was really _mad_, she was just frustrated. With the work day being over and his hands now rubbing the tight muscles of her shoulders, she figured he was trying to make up for his early morning shenanigans. She stretched her feet over the edge of the couch and closed her eyes as she felt the tension start to leave her body.

And that's when he struck out.

"So, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm gonna head on home."

_Oh, hell no._ Kensi reached behind her back and grabbed his thumb, twisting it until he cried out. "Are you freaking kidding me right now?"

"Ooooooow," Deeks moaned, attempting to laugh off the pain. "Okay I get it, you can let go now."

She twirled her body around on the couch and shoved him back against the pillows. "You're a tease," she said as she climbed atop of him, straddling his lap. "And you're not going anywhere."

"You're so easy to mess with," he replied, licking his lips. "What makes you think I haven't been thinking about this all day?"

God, she wanted to wipe that smug look off of his face. "You've been thinking about _me_ all day?"

"Hell yeah."

"Hmm," she purred, leaning close enough to touch his nose to hers. "You just like teasing, then?"

Acknowledging his guilt, he nodded and pursed his lips. "A little bit, yeah."

But he wasn't the one with the game plan anymore. A small smirk appeared on her face before she kissed him slowly, finishing off the kiss with his bottom lip between her teeth. "Oh, Detective. Payback's a bitch."

And Kensi Blye could be an evil, evil woman.


	65. Beale

**Prompt: Deeks and Eric being bros.**

* * *

><p><em>Sig Sauer P229 - 21<em>  
><em>Glock 19 - 7<em>  
><em>Ruger P22 - 3<em>  
><em>Remington 870P - 9<em>  
><em>Colt AR15 - 15<em>

The fact that there isn't an even number of any of their weapons bugs the hell out of Deeks. He likes nice, even numbers. Hetty likes odd and challenging, so he just accepts that uniformity will never be a part of his life at NCIS.

"Ahem." The quiet sound of a throat being cleared comes from the doorway of the armory.

"What's up?" Deeks asks without looking up from his inventory list.

"Deeeeeeeks…" Eric drawls as he slides out of the shadows.

Placing his pen down, Deeks looks up with a raised eyebrow. "Beeeeaaaaale," he mimics.

Eric smiles nervously and claps his hands together. "What's up with the Beale thing lately?"

"I dunno," Deeks says with a shrug. "It's masculine, I guess. All the guys go by our last names. Granger, Callen, Deeks-"

"Sam?"

"Sam…" He grimaces. "Right."

Eric shakes his head. "I am _not_ calling him Hanna."

With a sigh, Deeks looks back down at his check list. There are much better things he could be doing right now than having this strange conversation. Like his partner, for example. "Is there something I can help you with, Eric?"

"Yeah, actually, I uh," Eric pauses and takes a few quick strides to come face with Deeks. He places his hands on the counter, but the .40 caliber pistol right at his fingertips makes him squirm. "You and Kensi, you went on vacation together for Christmas, right?"

Deeks narrows his eyes and clicks the magazine back in the pistol he's holding. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, the thing is…" Eric looks at the pistols again and decides to jerk his hands away from the weapons. "See, Nell asked me to go to her family's home with her for Christmas. That sounds like a big deal, right?"

_Wow_, Deeks thinks to himself. _That's pretty bold_. "Nice!"

"Not quite," Eric replies sourly. "It was going great, she was all flirty and sweet, but then it came time to go to bed. And I chickened out, and nothing happened. Nell's just kinda tough to read, ya know?"

_Jesus, it's like Eric is singing to the choir_. "Ha, no, I can see that."

"We work really well together, and I don't want it to be weird. Especially if…"

"She rejects you?" Deeks asks bluntly.

"Well, yeah," Eric sighs. "I don't know, and you don't have to say, what your…relationship is with Kensi outside of work. But I know that it's not against the rules as long as it doesn't affect work performance. And that really has nothing to do with this so…anyway. You know Nell pretty well. Got any advice?"

Deeks smiles and links his fingers together. Now this is a question he can answer. "Don't mince words. Say what you mean. Playing games won't get you anywhere. If you're not ready to say it, you're not ready to do it."

"Okay," he nods appreciatively. "Thanks."

"No problem," Deeks says, returning to his guns. "Not trying to get rid of you man, but I'm on gun inventory this week and I've got to finish this before I leave."

"Nah, that's cool." Eric backs away, heading towards the door. "Tell Kensi I said hey."

"Will do," Deeks mutters, counting the spare clips in front of him. It's not until he hears smug laughter that he realizes that he's unknowingly given away his evening plans. Tilting his head, he glares at the smiling analyst.

"So, does that mean-"

"Shut up, Beale."


	66. Fast

_God, what is that awful sound?_

Kensi pokes an eye open, peering her head over the side of the bed where her arm hangs off. That's when she realizes her fingers are wet. Why are her fingers wet?!

"What. The. Hell."

Two brown eyes gaze back at her and she groans aloud. Monty. _Dammit._ And the awful noise? Oh, that's just the sound of a mutt smacking his chops in between licking her hand to, presumably, wake her up. Gross.

"Ugh," she groans, wiping her hand on the white comforter draped across her bed. Well, it's her bed, but not her comforter. Deeks had insisted on giving her an organic pure wool comforter for her bed. Sure, it's nice, but it is just one more change she's had to adjust to in the last few months.

_"Woof!"_

"Really?"

_Beep beep beep beep._

With a loud growl, Kensi pulls the comforter over her face and tries to ignore the sound of her alarm and the panting and whining from the dog. Hiding under the covers reveals another potentially irritating noise - the soft snort and whistle of her partner..._boyfriend_, of her boyfriend sleeping next to her. Usually his little sleep noises are actually soothing to her, but she must have literally woken up on the wrong side of the bed that morning.

"Argh!" She throws the ridiculously fluffy comforter away from her face and grabs her phone, turning the alarm off. "Deeks! Time to get up."

He's still sleeping peacefully on his tummy, unaware of the grumpy beast he's sharing a bed with. Grumbling, she rolls over and props herself on her elbow, patting his back firmly. "Come on, get up. We're gonna be late."

"Nuh uh," Deeks responds, muffled by his pillow.

"Yes huh."

"We're not gonna be late," he murmurs sleepily. "The wedding isn't until 2:00."

"What the...what?" Obviously he's talking in his sleep. Even in her perturbed state, she can't help but find it pretty damn adorable.

"The wedding, we won't be late. And they can't start without us."

Kensi tilts her head, staring at his messy hair as she rubs his back. "Who's getting married?"

He smiles. "Us, silly."

All of the blood drains from her face and she feels a familiar panic coursing through her veins. He's just dreaming, he has no idea what he's saying...but even so, the thought of a wedding, _their_ wedding, is terrifying to her. She's been there before, tried that, and has a poorly mended heart to show for it now.

He snuggles against his pillow, a smile still across his sleeping face. He looks so happy, and that makes her happy. But the voices in her head are waking up and starting to nag her...the dog, her bed, and work. Everything in her life is Deeks now. She blames Monty, and her alarm, and Deeks and his stupid dream for the words that are repeating over and over in her head.

_This is happening too fast._


	67. Jelly

Prompt: Sam and Callen - Are you jealous?

* * *

><p>"It's curved."<p>

"That's nice."

"And huge."

"Uh huh."

"65 inches."

Sam sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I'm happy for you."

Clicking his tongue, G leaned forward on his desk. "Something's up."

"Nothing's up," Sam responded, rolling his shoulders.

"Are you jealous?"

"Of you, G?" Sam rolled his eyes. "I dare you, no wait. I _beg_ you, please find something I should be jealous of."

Callen smirked, knowing full well that he was getting on his partner's nerves. "You're jealous of my smart touch remote. My ultra clear panel. My UHD upscaling."

"I'm gonna upscale you if you don't shut up about that damn TV."

"Now, now, gentlemen," Deeks chimed in, raising his head from his desk. He peaked into his empty coffee cup and sighed before slamming his forehead down again. "Do you really have to to bicker all…the…time?"

"We're not bickering," the partners spoke in unison.

Deeks repeatedly banged his head on his desk. "Where's Kensi?"

"I'm just saying," Sam said, trying to sound reasonable. "Maybe you should have spent your money on something else. Like, a couch, for instance."

"I'm perfectly fine watching my new TV on my current furniture, thanks."

"Your current furniture is a lawn chair, G!"

"Morning!" Much to her partner's relief, Kensi entered the bullpen with a sack in her arms and coffee in hand. "I brought breakfast."

Deeks raised his head and stretched his arms, mouthing "Thank you" to Kensi. She nodded and smiled, diving into her bag of goodies. "For Callen, an everything bagel with cream cheese."

"Thanks, Kens."

"For Sam, egg white and turkey bacon wrap."

"Excellent." Sam sniffed his breakfast, grinning widely.

"Deeks, coffee and breakfast burrito, sans jelly beans."

He narrowed his eyes and smiled. "Because you ate my jelly beans?"

"I'm not answering that question," she replied, avoiding his eyes.

Everybody began devouring their breakfast, except Callen. He was too busy eyeing Sam's wrap. "That looks pretty good, Sam."

Sam glared across the small open-flow workspace. "What, are you jealous?"

_Groan. Thud._


	68. Take It Off

Prompt: Neric - You heard me. Take it off.

* * *

><p>He surveyed the disaster around him, thinking that it looked like Hurricane Eric had swept through the area. Earthquake Eric? No, Apocalypse Eric, that's a good one. Anyway, the contents of his suitcase were strewn all over his room. Okay, not his room, but the room he was currently occupying. As a guest.<p>

In Nell's parents house. On Christmas. As the not-boyfriend that everybody thinks is the so-boyfriend.

This was a nerve-wracking enough situation already, without having lost one of his most prized possessions in the process. Not that anybody else would see the value in his tattered old tee shirt, but to Eric Beale, it was special. It reminded him of simpler times, of when he had enough free time during his last semester of college to work at a video game store. The extra money was nice, but the perks were better - like the twenty percent discount and free video game stuff.

Which led him back to his current predicament…where the hell was his pajama shirt?

"Ahem."

The high-pitched voice startled him and he spun around, covering his exposed chest with the clothing currently clenched in his fists. That's when he saw her - Nell had snuck into his room with tiny ninja-like stealth and closed the door behind her without him even noticing. Oh, but he definitely noticed her now. He noticed as she rested her small frame against the faded white paint of the bedroom door, as her slender fingers turned the antique bronze lock, as she coyly bent her knee and bit her bottom lip…but the most noticeable thing was what she was wearing.

A formerly black, but now beautifully worn and gray, Metal Gear Solid tee shirt. And nothing else.

He cleared his throat and looked at his hands, immediately dropping the koala and robot boxer shorts he'd been using to shield his bare skin from sight. The boxers were more embarrassing than his nipples. "Um. Impressive, Snake," he stuttered, reading the words written across his favorite shirt. Even if it wasn't his favorite before, it definitely was now.

Nell shrugged her shoulders, causing the shirt to ride up her thighs even more. "I do aim to please."

He still couldn't figure out how to react to her; she had already proven herself to be the queen of mixed signals, and he wasn't going to fall for her tricks unless her knew for sure that she wasn't playing him. "I, uh, can I have my shirt back?"

She shook her head. "Nah, I think I like it."

Clenching his jaw, he chose a different approach. "Take it off, Nell."

Her eyes widened briefly and she smirked, holding a hand up to her ear as she slowly walked towards him. "I'm sorry, could you say that again?"

Alright, Beale. It was time to sack up and just do it, potential rejection and embarrassment be damned. He met her halfway across the small room and twisted his fingers in the hem of her (his) shirt. "You heard me. Take it off."

Wordlessly, she lifted her arms straight up in the air and cocked an eyebrow at him. His ears were ringing and his heart was pounding out of his chest, but he swallowed hard and took the plunge, unwrapping what he was pretty sure was the most awesome Christmas present he'd ever gotten.

His earlier statement rang true - she was impressive, indeed.


	69. Answers

**Prompt: "Hey, I'm with you, okay? Always."**

**As usual, I own nothing and nobody.**

* * *

><p><em>Well, it took her long enough.<em>

He looks in the rear-view mirror of his LAPD sedan, watching as his partner shoots him an angry glare from her Cadillac. It's probably deserved, to be fair to her. After all, he's the one who up and disappeared from work without explanation this morning.

So maybe he was bored at OPS and decided to check the LAPD response calls (like he is supposed to do but rarely does anymore). Maybe he recognized a name that made his face flush and his blood run cold at the same time. Maybe he came up with a bullshit excuse to drop some paperwork off at headquarters and didn't return to work or call to check in. Maybe he'd been parked adjacent to the house where the incident occurred, staring back and forth between the address on the police report and the street number on the mailbox, hoping that it would somehow give him inspiration for a reason why an NCIS Liaison LAPD Detective would need to follow up on this report. Maybe it's a good thing that his inspiration has run dry.

Most definitely this is a huge mistake - in his mind, no good can come from this meeting. And now that Kensi is here and approaching the passenger side door at break-neck speed, she'll provide the voice of reason he needs to drive away and never look back. After she yells at him for worrying everybody (but really her), of course.

Unlocking the doors, he patiently waits for the verbal lashing he knows he is due. But as she slides into the car next to him, the only sound he's greeted with is a soft grunt as she falls into the seat. Silence from Kensi? Not good.

"I'm sorry if I worried you," Deeks says, getting the apology out of the way.

Kensi purses her lips, and maybe she doesn't look as mad as he originally thought. "If you knew I'd be worried, why did you disappear on me?"

"I don't know." He shrugs. "I think that every step of the way, I thought I'd reach a point where I realized I should head back. And the next thing I knew, I was sitting here staring at a mailbox."

She looks at the mailbox, then studies his face. "It's a rather basic mailbox."

"It's pretty ugly, actually."

Deeks glances at her hand, knowing his partner-in-everything so well that he could have timed the exact moment she would curl her fingers around his fist. He also knows she has to be more aware of the situation than she's letting on. He'd turned his cell phone off at the police station (another questionable move on his part), so how the hell else could she have found him? But she wouldn't make any assumptions or jump to conclusions. For her, the real story will have to come from the source. "So," she says, squeezing his hand. "Why are we sitting here admiring this ugly mailbox?"

He clears his throat and hands her the police report, scratching his chin when she takes the papers from him. Her eyes scan the report, looking for anything that seems significant, but…it's all boring and straightforward. "What am I missing?"

"You're looking too hard," he murmurs, shaking his head. "Elizabeth Brandel called in a B&E at 9:17 p.m. last night after she returned home from visiting a friend. Approximately $200 of damage was done to the house," he pauses and points to a boarded up window. "And an estimated $500 worth of possessions were stolen. There have been a string of break-ins in the area lately, but that's not uncommon here. It's under investigation."

She speaks slowly. "Brandel."

"It's not a common name, no," he acknowledges. "After Hetty told me about my father's death, I finally did some research on my own, ya know, to see if he had any other children or…I don't know." He nods his head in the direction of the house with the boring mailbox. "She's his widow."

"Oh." Kensi places the police report in the console between them. "Does she know who-"

"I have no idea," he interrupts. "Have I ever met her? No. Does she know that her dead husband had an estranged child? Probably. Do I think she would know who I was if I walked up to her front door and knocked? Absolutely." His avoidance of her curious gaze since she joined him is getting harder and harder for him to maintain. Truthfully, he's not even sure why he hid this from her in the first place, or why he's still having trouble talking about it now.

"Deeks, look at me."

"Yeah?" He sighs and tilts his head, smiling ever so slightly at her very fake stern expression. No matter how deep her frown is, she can't hide the softness in her eyes when she looks at him.

"Be honest with me, and yourself. What did you expect to accomplish by coming here?"

Good question, one that he's still trying to figure out the answer to. "Um." He pouts his bottom lip, contemplating how much he really wants to burden her with at the present time. Like the fact that it's not just any old house they're sitting in front of, it's the house he lived in until his mother took him and moved away. Or that he's curious about whether or not it still looks the same on the inside, that he wonders if his height carvings are still on the closet door-frame, or if it's possible there might be a picture of his father or possibly even him still in that house. He really doesn't want to tell her that his most vivid memory here is watching blood cover the scratched wooden floors while he trembled and cried. Those are a lot of words and a lot of emotions that he thought he was ready to face, but maybe he's just not yet.

When he fails to answer, she quietly clears her throat. "Do you want to just wait a little longer?"

"This is just…" Really dumb, he thinks. They should be at work, saving lives or disarming bombs or whatever insane shit is on their agenda for today. He closes his eyes and berates himself for going lone wolf that morning. He and Kensi are so beyond these kinds of secrets in their relationship. "Ugh," he grumbles.

"Or we can come back sometime later, when you're ready," she offers gently.

He raises an eyebrow. "We?"

"Yes, we." She offers a small smile and a soft squeeze to the back of his neck. "Hey, I get it. Sometimes you want answers to something you haven't even figured out the questions for yet. But no matter what, I'm here with, okay? Always." She tugs on an unruly curl that's tickling her hand, a small attempt to lighten the mood in the car.

It works. Deeks blows out a big puff of air and turns the key in the ignition. "I thought you were supposed to be my voice of reason and yell at me for pulling a Callen," he jokes.

"Well, I am still your voice of reason. Go back to work." Scrunching her nose playfully, she opens the door and leaves him alone again to return to her vehicle.

Casting one more look at his old house, he puts the car in drive and leaves the memories behind him once again. Next time he'll be ready to ask if his father ever spoke of him, if he'd voiced any regrets, or if he'd straightened his life out before meeting his maker.

Next time he'll be ready to hear the answers to all of those questions, even if the answer is no.


	70. Please Don't Do This

Prompt: Please Don't Do This. AU.

* * *

><p>It was only 9:30 in the morning, and it was already turning into a spectacularly shitty day.<p>

First, there was a power surge in her building and she lost electricity. Then of course she overslept, because apparently she still thinks it's the 90s and has a plug-in alarm clock. And unlike her old apartment in Norfolk that was primarily gas-powered, her new apartment is all electric. That cold shower was just what she needed to fix her morning troubles. Not.

So now she was running late for the first day of her new assignment at the Office of Special Projects. This was what she had been trying to achieve, the ultimate goal in her career at NCIS. Getting away from the east coast and all of her bad memories there was like starting anew, with the chance to meet all new people in LA that thankfully knew nothing about her. She was lucky enough to be chosen to fill an empty seat there and she wasn't even 30 years old yet...well, that is, she's lucky enough if the small, super scary woman in charge doesn't fire her for being late on her first day.

Speaking of being late. "Move, asshole!" Kensi yelled at innocent drivers as she wove in and out of the heavy LA traffic in her old, beat up Honda Accord. She hoped she would be given a nice car to drive as part of her new assignment, something fast and sleek. Like a Mustang or Challenger, that would be awesome. Honking her horn, she rudely scowled at an elderly couple. "Old people and Cadillacs should _not_ be allowed on the Freeway," she growled.

Blue lights in the rearview mirror suddenly caught her eye, and she began to panic and pray to the gods of traffic cops. "No no no. Please don't do this, get the old people driving 15 miles per hour under the speed limit, please..." But the black and white Crown Victoria was riding her tail and nobody else's. _Dammit_.

Pulling over on the right shoulder of the road, she started rifling through the disaster known as her glove compartment. Okay truthfully, her whole car was a disaster. If possible, it might have been even messier than her apartment. She found her necessary information and had a brilliant idea - she could just show the cop her badge and he'd let her go, right? He'd have to. But where the hell was her badge? And holy shit, where the hell was her gun? Oh God, she was definitely getting fired today.

_Tap tap._

Kensi gritted her teeth and forced a smile before turning to face the officer at her window. _You can get out of this without your badge_, she thought. _Just channel your inner Rachel Green and flirt your way out of it_. As she cranked her window down, she took in the young policeman to her left. He was pretty attractive, actually. Tall and tan, with a slight blond stubble like he'd forgotten to shave that morning. Aviator sunglasses hid his eyes, but she imagined them to be ocean blue. Welcome back to California, Kensi Marie Blye.

"License, registration, and insurance," he requested grumpily. He seemed just as thrilled to be pulling her over as she was about it.

She handed them over and rested her cheek on her hand with a smile. "Sure thing, Officer..." She squinted at his name tag in the morning sun. "Dicks."

He tilted his head, and Kensi's eyes widened in horror. _Fuck_, she was going to get fired _and_ arrested today. Rachel would be so ashamed. Even Ross did better than this. "I'm sorry, I meant-"

"Deeks," he interrupted sourly. "And it's Detective, not Officer."

Scrunching her nose, she checked out his dress blues suspiciously. "Why would a detective be making traffic stops?" Wow, she just couldn't stop herself from digging her grave even deeper.

Detective Deeks slowly raised a hand to his sunglasses and pulled them down to the tip of his nose. As she suspected, he had ocean blue eyes. Damn. "Really?" He asked, deadpan.

"I'm just saying-"

"If you really must know," he said, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "A stomach virus swept through Patrol. The newest promotees were relegated to fill in as needed. Virginia drivers license?"

"Yes," she nodded. "I just moved here. For work. It's my first day, and I'm running late."

"Uh huh." The detective peered in the front seat briefly, and then inspected the backseat. "What kind of work do you do, Miss..." He looked closely at her license. "Blah."

"Blye," she bristled as he smirked. "And I'm an..." Kensi paused, realizing that maybe she shouldn't say "NCIS Special Agent" without proper identification in her hand. She had to learn how to pretend to be somebody else now, anyway. "Model," she finished, and immediately regretted it. _Dumbass_, she thought. Was there absolutely nothing in her mind that started with a vowel sound? Actress? Entrepreneur? Idiot?

"An model? Is that proper East Coast English?"

"_A_ model," she corrected herself. At the rate this conversation was going, she might end up having to model in order to make ends meet after she gets fired.

"Yes, well I'm sure you'll be very successful soon and you won't have to live in your car anymore." He pointed to the pile of miscellaneous junk in her backseat.

"Ha ha," she fake laughed, and he finally smiled brightly at her. _Holy smokes_, he was gorgeous.

He handed her ID and paperwork back to her without taking them to his squad car to run a check on her records. She tilted her head curiously, but he simply tapped his hand on the roof of her car. "Just be careful and slow it down, okay, Agent Blye?"

"I will." She sighed in relief before realizing how he'd addressed her. "Wait, how did you know-"

"Your Sig and badge are sitting on a pile of crap in your backseat." His cheeks crinkled, almost like he winked at her. "Good luck with your new job."

Turning his back to her, he headed back to his Crown Victoria. Kensi twisted her head out of the window and shouted to him. "Thanks, Detective Deeks!"

She couldn't hear it, but she read his lips as he said "Anytime" and slid into his car. Closing her eyes, she tried to get her mind back in order again before driving off. Things were finally starting to work in her favor today, and she approached her drive to work with a new and positive outlook.

Maybe, hopefully, her terrifyingly tiny new boss wouldn't fire her today after all.


	71. Secrets

"So…" Deeks held his hand out to Kensi and wiggled his fingers. "I'll take the truck back, you go with Sam?" He was heeding to Hetty's request, somewhat. It wasn't like they could avoid each other, but until he knew more about his super secret lady follower he would try to do as she asked.

Kensi shook her head, gripping the keys. "No. I'll drive, you talk."

Self-consciously he looked around them before nodding and climbing into the SUV, as if he thought the boogeyman was going to jump out from behind a car and get them. The anxiety he was feeling was getting worse and worse as his day progressed, and the irony of the whole situation wasn't lost on him. Everyone, he assumed, was worried that his relationship with Kensi would affect their work performance when in fact, being with her made him stronger. He didn't begin to feel on edge until he didn't have her by his side.

As soon as she started driving, she slipped a business card in his hand - Detective Jacqueline Rivera, LAPD Internal Affairs Department. "This is her?" He asked, swallowing down his anger that always consumed him when he felt that Kensi had been threatened somehow.

She nodded and spoke calmly. "She was tailing me on my way back to the bodyshop."

That was explanation enough of how she'd met the other detective. He knew his partner well enough to know what went down. "What did she tell you?"

"Just that they have opened an investigation. On you," she added softly. "And please don't take my next question the wrong way."

Deeks glanced out the window and sighed. "No, I don't know why."

The black Excursion pulled to a stop at a red light, so she turned to face him. "That's not what I was going to ask."

If only there was a simple answer to the question she really wanted to know. He wished he could tell her no, they won't find anything. He also wished that saying it could make it true. The longer he remained silent, the harder it was for him to find the words she didn't want to hear.

"Deeks." Her eyes bore holes in the side of his face until he finally turned to face her, his eyes so full of distant memories and regret that she didn't need to hear the answer to the question she never thought she'd have to ask. "Okay," she whispered, returning her attention to the road.

"We all have skeletons in our closet, Kens."

"You don't have to tell me that. I have your back, like always," she said, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. "And we can tell each other where our bodies are buried later. Right now, we need a plan."

"_We_ need a plan?" He sputtered. "I don't think I understand."

"You said that Hetty was looking in to this and to let her worry about it. But that's not good enough for me."

_They_ needed a plan, he realized. Not as a team, but as a pair. "You don't trust her…"

"I didn't say that," Kensi bristled. "But my faith and my trust is not as strong as it used to be."

Deeks got it, he really did. There were times when Kensi was in Afghanistan that he questioned why he still allowed himself to follow Hetty blindly. Perhaps he was blind because of the wool over his eyes. "So. Plan."

"You need to find out why they're gunning for you. Quietly."

Her pursed his lips. "Agreed. Do you think Hetty knows why?"

She nervously smoothed her ponytail. "One way to find out. We go in, you let Hetty know about Detective Rivera and ask her what she knows about the investigation. If you're satisfied with her answer, tell her what you think she needs to know."

"I mean, this is Hetty we're talking about. She's an enigma wrapped in a riddle tipsy on Pappy Van Winkle's. What if I can't read her?"

"Trust your gut," she said, dropping her hand from the steering wheel. She curled her fingers around his tightly clenched fist and he relaxed it instantly. "If she's honest with you, be honest with her."

_And himself. _"And if she's not?" That was a strong possibility and he knew it. It wasn't that their boss was malicious, but more so an incurable control freak. Everything that went on in their building, she knew. Everything about their lives, she knew. Everything in their past, she knew. There were probably things about his life that she was aware of that even he didn't know. She was the keeper of _all_ secrets.

"If she lies…" Kensi squeezed his hand. "Lie back."

_Easier said than done._


	72. Hot Topic

**Prompt: Write something about the Rage (6x20) promo pictures, specifically Callen's and Kensi's clothes.**

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><p>A sharp pain pierces his finger and he winces, sucking it between his teeth. Perhaps it's a sign that he shouldn't open the manila envelope he'd been fingering for the last ten minutes. It has been sitting in his desk drawer for nearly four years now, completely ignored because it's never been deemed necessary in his mind. He can't even believe he's considering now.<p>

Would it be the easy way out, to resign from LAPD amidst an Internal Affairs investigation and join NCIS before his career is ruined? His mind is telling him it's the smart thing to do. His _heart_ says that he knows he's a good cop and that misunderstandings and misinformation can be cleared up. This will _not_ break him. He won't let it.

"It's gonna be okay, Deeks."

"Hmm?" He turns to look at Sam and sees that the older agent has a small smirk on his face.

"This assignment, Kensi and Callen. It's just part of the job."

_Great, thanks for the reminder_. As if he doesn't have enough on his plate, his partner is about to go undercover as someone else's girlfriend so they can worm their way into a white supremacist group. God, he needs a distraction from life. "I dunno, Sam, I think it would be more interesting if you went undercover as Callen's life partner. It wouldn't be much of a stretch for you two."

"Cute," Sam says, rolling his eyes.

Just then Kensi walks awkwardly into the bullpen, wearing the tightest tee shirt and jeans he's ever seen in his life. And that's saying something, he used to work in Vice. This is just the distraction he needed. "Speaking of cute…"

"Deeks," she warns her partner as she stands up to check her out.

"Hot Topic called, they said they want their 'best of the 90s' collection back," he teases, grinning.

She tugs her shirt lower, still failing to cover her midriff. "Funny."

"Actually, that's a lie, even they don't want those clothes back." Kensi glares at him and reaches into her desk, pulling an elastic hair band out and sliding it on her wrist. Bending over reveals a large tattoo on her back, and suddenly the outfit is a whole lot hotter. "Holy henna, Batman."

Before she can make a remark about his ogling, Callen joins the group, looking just as ridiculous as Kensi. Deeks mentally high-fives the gods for providing him with so much mocking material. Pointing his finger at Callen's jeans, he asks, "Are those boyfriend jeans?"

Callen narrows his eyes. "What are boyfriend jeans?"

"What? No, I dunno," he lies. "What's with these outfits? White supremacists can't buy new clothes?"

"Fashion isn't a top priority," Callen answers, curling his lip.

"Then how did you land this sexy lady?" Deeks wiggles his eyebrows and runs a finger along the exposed skin on her back. Noticing that Sam and Callen are paying him no attention anymore, he speaks softly in her ear. "Where's your gun?"

"Purse."

"Knife?"

"Boot."

He nods, and she tilts her head and smiles. That smile can make him momentarily forget all of his problems. "Be safe?"

Kensi leans over and places a chaste kiss on his lips, catching him completely off-guard. Everyone knows about their relationship now, but they still make it a point to minimize it at work. Maybe she did it they both need reassurance today. "Everything's going to be fine."

Smiling, Deeks nods and ignores the groans from the senior agents on the team. He trusts her, and he believes her. "Okay."


	73. Judgment Day

**Because ECO talking about the zombie apocalypse on Instagram makes my brain do weird things.**

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><p>The streets of Los Angeles aren't the same as he remembers from his childhood, or hell, even from a few weeks ago. It all happened so fast that sometimes he thinks that this is just the longest nightmare he's ever had. Maybe he'll wake up soon, wrapped around a beautiful brunette instead of his shotgun.<p>

Detective Marty Deeks anxiously pulls up to their meeting spot by the water on his motorcycle. For the first time in years, he proudly wears his badge displayed on his buckle for anyone that is left to see and respect. He is here to serve and protect his fellow man, and to fucking destroy those that are responsible for this hell he is barely living in. The team, or what is left of it, split up and took bikes through the streets that looked far more like the book of Revelations than Tinseltown, USA, to find survivors and take them to safety on the ships at port.

He hasn't seen a friendly face in days, and longs for the laughter and teasing from his friends. He longs for the touch and smell of his partner, to feel her warm soft flesh against his again. It is already an hour past their scheduled meeting time, and the longer he waits, the more he fears he'll never be a part of anything happy again.

A familiar frame comes into his line of sight, her small body stumbling through the wreckage to reach their safe place. Hetty. Deeks climbs off of his bike and waits excitedly for his boss. Maybe she has good news. Maybe she knows where everybody else is. Or maybe he's just not the only person still alive in this wasteland.

But a cold chill takes over his body as her appearance becomes clearer. He recognizes the gray pallor, the black eyes, and the weepy mouth. He fights the urge to call out to her. She won't answer anyway. Closing his eyes, he says a prayer to no one and anyone and pulls his pistol out of his pants. His mind forces him to remember that even as a living being, she was fallible. He pictures Kensi's face and her tears after her ordeal in the desert instead of the day he was offered a job that would forever change his life. As he opens his eyes and sets his sights, he tells himself that Hetty is no longer the woman he once thought of as a surrogate mother. Now, she is nothing.

Closer and closer she approaches, quiet and dead as the night. His ammunition is running low, and he can't afford to miss. Just a few more feet and he'll be ready. He has to be ready.

Without flinching, he fires two shots to the center of her forehead and is surprised that he feels very little emotion as he watches her melt into the broken asphalt. He turns away, avoiding the dead eyes that watch him as he walks to the outer perimeter of their boat shed. This place and its familiarity offers a small amount of comfort and hope to him. The others will come. He just has to be patient.

Settling his back against the outer wooden wall, he reloads his shotgun and counts the few bullets left in his only remaining magazine. And he waits.


	74. Nothing But A Smile

Kensi should have known better. Girls night out with her normal crew of girlfriends was always just a ton of talk and very little action. But ladies night out with Nell? That was usually a recipe for trouble.

See, most people think that Nell is a mild-mannered, sweet Midwestern girl. They don't know her like Kensi does, though. If Nell invites you to a party, it's probably a weekend long trip to Vegas with fake IDs that she has backstopped herself. Going out for drinks? Most likely body shots. Exercise? Jello wrestling. Double date? Well...

So when Nell said that she and Hetty were going to see a live show after work and asked her to tag along, Kensi should have asked very specific questions instead of answering with a breezy "sure" just because Deeks was doing some work for LAPD that night. Always ask for details when it concerns Nell and Hetty. _Always_.

And that's why Kensi just narrowly avoided a gravity-defying, spandex clad cock from smacking her in the face. Because she didn't ask the important questions.

"Look at his butt. I could just nibble on it," Nell said, chomping her teeth and pointing to the ass in front of them. That ass was attached to a human, Kensi reminded herself. A human with feelings and probably a shitload of student loans and wow, an amazingly large penis. But still. Feelings.

Kensi slurped on her screwdriver. "Not big on the butt biting, but okay."

As they enjoyed their "show", her thoughts kept drifting to Deeks. Not because of the impressive display of tools before them, but because of her boyfriend's own history in the entertainment industry. The thought of him being objectified and treated like meat made her feel a little sad. And imagining him in a man-thong didn't really turn her on. Not a whole lot, anyway.

"This reminds me of the seventies in Europe." Hetty sighed wistfully. "Did I ever tell you all about my exploits with the Prince of Norway? When I left him," she paused to chuckle. "He had nothing to his name but a Vacheron Constantin watch and a smile."

"Wow," Kensi mouthed.

Nell's eyes widened. "Okaaaay. Right. So, Chippendales."

"They're great dancers," Kensi added quickly.

"The way they can move their hips..." With a dramatic flair that was more Southern belle than Midwest darling, Nell fanned the vapors from her face. "I bet they are amazing lovers."

"They are." Kensi realized what she'd said a second too late. "I mean..."

Nell signaled for another round of drinks. "This I need to hear."

"Classified file 02-20DM, named Rumpleforeskin."

Kensi and Nell turned to Hetty with their mouths agape as the older woman coolly sipped her bourbon. "Cancel those drinks!" Nell shouted to their server and made a check motion with her hand. "Strike that. This I need to _see_."

The look of horror remained on Kensi's face as Hetty picked up their tab and Nell excitedly pushed her chair under the table. Could it be? Was there actual video evidence of Deeks' college days as an exotic dancer? There was no way she could let Nell see this, although it seemed as if Hetty had already had the viewing pleasure. It wasn't like Nell had never seen Deeks with his shirt off before. And if it meant that Kensi would actually get to see this for herself after years of imagining it...

Hopefully Deeks would forgive them all later. She took one more sip of her drink and stood, rushing to catch up to her colleagues. "Wait for me!"


	75. Fallen Friend

**More season 7 speculation. And. Sorry. :D**

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><p>Sand pricked his face and he squeezed his eyes shut to shield them from the sudden gust of wind. The ocean was choppy that morning - not a nice, clear day for surfing. It was probably for the better anyway, seeing as how he had another purpose for being at his favorite beach.<p>

Kensi rested a hand on his shoulder. "You sure you wanna do this before work?"

Deeks nodded. "No better time than the present."

Somehow she sensed that he needed a minute to himself and didn't follow him as he stepped toward the ocean. Though he was a man of many words, he oftentimes lacked the ability to convey exactly what he was thinking. A silent goodbye to an old friend felt more appropriate than glowing praise or a solemn prayer.

He twisted open the top of the bottle in his hands and tilted it, watching as the wind picked up the ashes and carried them away on its back. It was more therapeutic than he thought it would be, almost as if his buddy was having one more run on the beach. Deeks wasn't sad anymore. He was relieved.

A cold nose at the back of his knee made him smile. He knelt down in the sand and cupped the five month old puppy's ears in his hands, shaking them as she smiled goofily. Chocolate brown and nothing but long arms and legs, she was as much the canine image of her mother as Monty had been of him. She didn't have her honorary NCIS badge yet, but her older brother had been a good teacher in the couple of months they'd had together. Her time would come soon enough.

Kensi followed her (their) puppy to meet him. "You good?"

"Yes, actually," he said, brushing the sand off his knees as he rose. "Maybe we don't tell everybody at work yet, though. I don't want to see Sam cry."

"You don't want _Sam_ to cry?" She raised an eyebrow.

Deeks smiled sadly. "He and Monty were tight."

"Right. Of course." Linking her arm in his, she dragged him away from the water before he had a chance to dwell on his farewell ceremony.

The lanky puppy plopped her butt in the sand and tilted her head, either not eager to end their beach trip or not ready to say goodbye to Monty herself. She barked in protest, but Deeks turned and clapped a hand on his thigh. "Come on, Princess."

Whether or not any of them were ready, it was time to move on.


	76. Take the Black

**Written for the Tumblr hiatus fic challenge #3: Crossover.**

**What if Marty Deeks wasn't created in the NCIS Los Angeles universe, but instead lived in the world of Westeros and served as a member of the Night's Watch?**

**As usual, I own nothing other than my own insanity. I am simply borrowing the characters of NCIS Los Angeles and the location from Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire).**

* * *

><p><em>"Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come." — <em>the Night's Watch oath

It was a cold like he'd never experienced before, so bone-chilling that he thought he'd never be warm again. Or be happy again. Gone were the days of warm pools of water, or searching for pretty girls in low-cut dresses through the never-ending gardens back home. Now he led a different life as a man of the Night's Watch. There was only ice now and most of the people he shared this castle with were criminals. The only thing he searched for anymore were his frozen balls in this unrelenting cold weather.

_Was it worth it?_ Marty wondered. He thought that it probably wasn't, but he had simply done what needed to be done. Paying this price for his crime was more ideal than sacrificing his head. Not that there was much in this cold, harsh place to live for other than a sense of duty.

One thing reminded of home, at least. His canine companion Monty had made the weeks long trip from Highgarden to Castle Black with him, though the mangy mutt was far from pleased with the climate of his new home. For a group of society's rejects, his new mates were a somewhat bearable group of men. They were certainly better than the strange and frightening things that lived beyond The Wall (a literal wall of ice that served as the northernmost border of the lands of the seven kingdoms).

Marty had made a few friends in his short tenure in the north. Gee was an orphan with a smart mouth, but scrappy and brave as hell. Marty had once asked if Gee was a family name. The surly man laughed and asked, "What's a family?" Lord Hanna was another acquaintance. They weren't quite friends but the large tower of a man had a soft spot for Monty, so Marty therefore had a soft spot for him. There were some men who came to Castle Black willingly, and Lord Hanna was one of them. One of these days he would be brave enough to ask why a Lord had taken the black and denied his name and land to protect the realm of men. He bet it was a hell of a story.

Monty growled and it echoed through their fire, but Marty ignored him and held the shaft of a new arrow he was making over the flame. He pulled it away quickly, holding the wood straight until it cooled. Making, and shooting, arrows was something he'd loved since he was a child. He lacked sophisticated training, sure, but would put his self-taught skills up against any other bowman.

The dog's growling grew louder and his hackles rose. Marty sighed and chastised his pet. "If you don't shut up, Alliser's going to put you in a kennel. Then your furry ass really will have something to whine about. Look, see, there's nothing to be-" He turned his head and froze, coming face to face with what appeared to be a beast from his grandmother's stories of old.

Puffs of steam escaped from a wet nose as black as coal. The animal had snow white fur and blood red eyes, which were scary enough on their own. The pure size of this creature left Marty trembling in fear, though he tried to tell himself it was just a side effect of the frigid air around him.

"Ghost!" A low voice barked as the shadow of a man came into Marty's line of sight. Ghost backed away and licked his chops, undoubtedly regretting not feasting on them before his owner showed up.

Marty exhaled and muttered in disbelief. "That's the biggest fucking dog I've ever seen in my life."

"Not a dog," the low voice spoke again as the man stepped into the light cast by his small fire. "A direwolf."

The wolf sat down then. In typical fashion, Monty rose to his feet to protect his owner but only after the threat had been squashed. Too busy staring at the mysterious man, Marty let his dog have his moment of bravery without admonishment. The only thing more impressive than the wolf was the massive sword attached to the man in black.

"I've never actually seen one," he said, referring to the wolf, not the sword. "I didn't think they lived south of The Wall."

The man, or boy really, smiled softly. Marty knew of him, the steward that thought himself to be a ranger but carried himself like a king. His name gave away his true status, however. Jon Snow bore the surname of bastards in the north, despite being raised amongst lords. He didn't have the sword or the wolf but at least Marty was trueborn, and carried his family name Brandel even after being banished to The Wall.

Jon knelt down to pick up a new arrow from the ground and admired it, fingering the feathers. "You're quite the fletcher."

Instinctively Marty straightened, not expecting the compliment. "I'm an even better shot," he countered confidently.

He couldn't have been older than twenty, but Marty thought Jon's eyes made him seem much older. They were dark and sad, like they had seen indescribable terrors. He felt like the darker boy was sizing him up, judging him by his near opposite appearance. Marty was southern, with fair hair and bright blue eyes that used to sparkle a long time ago. "But have you had to use one of your arrows on a man before?"

Now it was Marty's turn to return the smile, though it wasn't soft. "I killed my father with one. Not for sport or pleasure, but in a life or death situation. I didn't hesitate then, and I won't hesitate in the future."

Jon nodded, satisfied with the response. "Jon Snow," he introduced himself.

"Martin Brandel. But you can call me Marty. Or Deeks. That's my mother's house name, and I would take hers over my father's if I could. And this here is Monty. Forgive his growling, but the snow has made him a little crotchety." He ruffled his dog's ears and forced himself to stop talking. He could be known to ramble at times.

Jon approached Monty slowly and let him sniff the back of his hand. "In his defense, there's very little to take pleasure in here. You have your oath, and your men. Friends if you're lucky. But Monty will be your best friend. He will keep you warm at night, because nobody else will."

_Because nobody else will. _That may be the hardest part of his new life. Fuck lands or crowns or glory. Marty wanted the girls back home. Well really, one girl. She had long waves of dark hair, mismatched eyes of hazel and black, and a smile that could melt the wall of ice he was sworn to protect. And she was strong, too. She'd as soon kill you as kiss you. He'd thought maybe he loved her. He knew for sure he missed her. But none of that mattered anymore.

A loud blast of a horn from the top of the wall shook him and frightened Monty, though Jon didn't seem phased. One blow from the sentry's horn signaled returning rangers, and wasn't a terribly uncommon sound. When the horn blew a second time, Marty hoped that maybe it was all in his head. One blast was good. Two was bad. Three was the worst anyone could imagine. He prayed that the horn wouldn't blow again.

"Wildlings," Jon murmured, rising to his feet. "You say you're good with your bow?"

Marty began to shake but nodded his head. Even though he'd been selected as a ranger, he hadn't gone past The Wall yet, much less encountered the people who lived beyond it. The stories he'd been told were horrific.

"Follow me."

Swallowing his fear, he rose to his feet and gathered his arrows. _There was nothing to be afraid of_, he told himself. _You conquered your father. You can conquer anything_. Grabbing Monty by the scruff of his neck, he pushed him toward one of the castle's interior doors. The mutt looked at him with sad eyes, but Marty shook his head. "Don't worry, boy. I'll be back."


	77. Happy

**Very short tag to 7x02: Citadel.**

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><p>"Don't even think about it. Hands to yourself." Kensi swatted at the fingertips lightly tracing the lower elastic of her panties under the sheets.<p>

"But…"

"No," she hissed. "This is not high school and I didn't just crawl in your window. I am not fucking you with your mother in the house."

Deeks sighed. "She's heard worse, you know."

"Not helping."

"Besides, it could be fun trying to make you scream when you know you can't." He nuzzled his nose behind her ear, sparking an involuntary shiver down her spine. _Dammit Deeks. Just let it go._

She sighed and pulled the blankets tighter to her chest. Today was not a good day for either of them, between Talia, blatant secret keeping, and the prospect of agents in every organization being recruited to be spies. Oh yeah, and being sprung with the boyfriend's mother with no forewarning. That was really her problem, not his, but still. He was over the moon about how well they'd gotten along, evidenced by all of his smiles and current groping. And Mama Deeks was cool as hell, but the circumstances leading to their first meeting weren't the best.

She wanted to sleep, to start over fresh in the morning with his arms around her and hopefully the smell of pancakes wafting up the stairs of his new home. But something Dr. Rathburn had said to Deeks was sticking with her, like a fly buzzing around her head that just wouldn't go away. Asking him questions about his past as a cop seemed to lead them nowhere these days. Maybe she didn't ask the write questions, the hard questions. The longer he avoided the truth and fell back on his "I don't knows," the more antsy to really question him she became. Now wasn't the time, she knew, but this one question was burning a hole in her tongue.

His head popped up and he rested his chin on her shoulder. "Kens?"

"Did you fail your test?" Kensi asked quietly, and surprisingly, without regret.

He tensed. "What?"

"You know what I'm talking about." Rolling to her back, she blinked and tried to focus on his eyes. He was a horrible liar when it came to her, and always avoided eye contact when he did it. "Dr. Rathburn said they knew you would betray the LAPD eventually. Why would she think that, if your test didn't suggest it would happen?"

"She knew it was a setup. She just wanted to get her punches in before the bullets started flying."

"But you're still not answering my question," she said, shaking her head. The can of worms had been opened now. No turning back. "Did they approach you? Is that what this whole investigation is about?"

His eyes widened in disbelief and he got quiet. Very quiet, the way he never used to be with her. Biting his bottom lip, he tilted his head. "Are you asking if I'm a spy?"

She frowned. "No. I only asked if they _wanted_ you to be one."

Deeks sighed and dropped his head back to his pillow, wrapping his arm tightly around her waist. He rested quietly, and she could practically hear the wheels turning in his head before he finally spoke again. "I'm a lot of things, but a traitor isn't one of them. And no. They didn't approach me. Happy?"

That was a difficult question to answer.


	78. Why

**Speculation for the behind the scenes picture with Kensi and Granger for ep 7x09.**

* * *

><p>Her blood boiled, threatening to spill every feeling of rage, disappointment, and hurt out of her lips and into his ears. But he wasn't even close enough to hear the whispers she was sure were tumbling out of her mouth, all one word that summed up every question she had for him. Why.<p>

_Why did he think he had to run? Why didn't he tell her? Why didn't he trust her? Why was his gun still raised at them, and why was she doing the same?_

Granger must have felt her turmoil from his position at her side. He placed a hand on her pistol, breaking the tension-laced moment between herself and her partner. Lover. Everything. Deeks lowered his gun as well, though neither of them holstered their weapons. Why? She couldn't explain that either.

"Don't make this harder than it already is, Detective." Granger's voice was gruff but sad all the same. Just like everyone else, Deeks had managed to worm his way into the old man's heart.

Kensi still couldn't speak. She still only had the one word on her lips.

"It's not true, Granger," Deeks pleaded, his worry lines on his face more visible than ever before. "Just me find her and I'll turn myself in. She'll tell them the truth."

He should have told her that he knew all along why the LAPD was investigating him. He should have told her that he helped someone that couldn't help themselves, even if it was the wrong thing to do. He should have known that she loved him enough to understand.

Granger shook his head. "You won't find her."

Defeat washed over her partner's face. His shoulders slumped, his face crumpled, and she knew that he understood. The one person to corroborate his story was dead. Kensi managed to make her voice work again, but she was less worried about the whys as she was just a few minutes ago. Answers could wait. She just needed him to quit fighting. "Please, Deeks."

He nodded slowly, releasing the magazine from his gun and ejecting the bullet in the chamber. Climbing off of his choice of shelter, Hetty's yacht, he walked towards them and placed his weapon in her shaky hands. "I guess it's only fair," he said. "I had to bring you in when I didn't want to. When you'd done nothing wrong."

But he wasn't innocent, not in her eyes. Deeks may not be a killer, but he was guilty of many other things. Kensi bit her lip and straightened her back, putting on the bravest face she could muster. Anything to hide the truth. He should be familiar with that concept. "Things are a lot different now," she said. Her face may have been strong, but her voice wasn't.

"I know." Deeks blinked, and she saw what she needed to see in his eyes - remorse. It would hurt like hell, but they would come back from this somehow, she knew. They had to. "And I'm sorry."


	79. Truths

**Not at all true speculation for 7x09, Internal Affairs.**

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><p><em>He was tired.<em>

_Tired of sleeping in shitty motel rooms. Tired of living a double life. Tired of pretending to like getting high so he wouldn't stand out among the gun and drug runners he had to associate with every day. Tired of this undercover assignment taking so fucking long that he was starting to lose sight of who he was and why he was here._

_Most of all, he was tired of the constant reminders of what his life could have been if he hadn't straightened himself out. This assignment and cover came too easily to him. Max Gentry was supposed to be nothing like Marty Deeks. The bloodshot eyes that stared back at him from cracked mirrors every morning couldn't see the difference._

_It was cold that night but he didn't know it. Somehow he'd managed to find his way back to the no-tell-motel he'd been living in for a few weeks now. He was so fucking high and he hated it. He hated that he liked it, too, but most nights it helped to cover the loveless grunts that resonated through the thin walls of his room. Some cop he was, he thought. He was no better than the assholes he was trying to put behind bars._

_There were no grunts tonight, only screams. For a second he thought it was all in his head, a flashback to the screams and shouts that used to keep him awake at night as a child. Someone was crying. Pleading. He tried to ignore the sounds like always, but he couldn't. They just grew louder and louder the closer he got to his room. It wasn't his room, though._

_The shouting and pleading ceased, replaced by a boom. Boom boom boom. Four booms. Gunshots. Semi-automatic, not revolver. The Marty inside knew that, and he fought to break through the clouds pushing him down. Max would mind his own business. Marty would help. Somehow the light broke through and the next thing he knew, he was standing in the room with the screams and the shots and now, the silence._

_He shook his head in disbelief, staring at the dead body on the bed. He knew him. He knew her maybe, the woman holding the gun and shaking uncontrollably. It looked like his gun, but it couldn't be. His gun was holstered behind his back._

_Focus, he thought. Get your head together. "Did you fuck him?" He asked her coldly._

_She shook her head, but her state of undress told a different story._

_"Hot water, soap," he said. "Clean him up, anywhere you touched him."_

_She nodded, and he pulled every towel from the bathroom, wiping down all the hard surfaces in the room. This was wrong, but his conscience thought it was right. His view of the world was skewed, but this woman didn't deserve what would come to her if he didn't help. Killing a cop was no joke, even one that deserved it._

_When everything was clean, he took all of the towels to his room to go in his laundry and left her to her own devices. As he sat on his own lumpy bed, his high finally wearing off, the events still didn't quite make sense to him. Not knowing was probably for the best anyway. He stripped his jacket and clothes off, turning on the shower and staring at himself in the mirror._

_Maybe Max Gentry wasn't such a bad guy after all._

* * *

><p>Kensi stared at him, her hands tight behind her back. Cold metal bars separated them, and he never realized how lucky he had been to have her within arms reach every night for the last year. Deeks reached for her but she refused, everything but her eyes remaining stoic.<p>

The truth is what she'd asked for when walked she through these doors, and the truth is what he tried to give her. Many of his undercover memories were such a mixture of half truths that he preferred to tell her nothing at all every time she had inquired. He tried to open up a few times, only to panic and change the subject. There was nowhere to run now, and they were fresh out of new topics.

"Was it worth it?" Kensi asked sadly. "All the lying?"

"I didn't lie to you," Deeks defended. "I really don't know what happened."

"Not to me." She bit her lip. It was obvious that she was barely holding on to her composure. "Yourself."

Blinking back tears, she stepped away from the bars. Her lips mouthed a silent "I love you" before she slipped away, leaving him alone with his thoughts again. It was hard to admit to himself, but Kensi was right. He did know the shooter.

Maybe Marty Deeks wasn't such a good guy after all.


	80. Silence

Post-ep for 7x09, Defectors.

* * *

><p>"I love you.<p>

Deeks knew whatever he said to her in that moment had to count - they would likely be the last words he spoke for hours. Kensi wanted an explanation, a promise, or just anything to make her feel better, and for once he could give her nothing. He was on the clock now, their clock, and he wasn't going to do a damn thing to help their case.

Instead of thinking about her face and broken voice, he stared at the two cops in the front seat (that he didn't even know). They were making small talk, chatting about ridiculously irrelevant subjects. Holiday schedules, kid's Christmas lists, the accident on PCH that morning - anything but the obvious. They had arrested one of their own.

He should have told Kensi a long time ago that this could happen, but silence seemed like the best option then as well. Maybe she would have had answers. Maybe she would know what to do now instead of just staring in broken disbelief.

Though miles away now, he could still feel her eyes piercing the back of his skull. Shaking his head, he clenched his jaw and pushed that feeling away. He thought of Sam's optimism and loyalty. He thought of Callen's defiance. Granger's take-no-shit attitude. Hetty's ability to make nothing out of something and something disappear into thin air as if it never existed.

"I don't like this," the bald officer said to the detective, but really Deeks thought it was pointed towards him. He could have been talking about the traffic for all he knew, but probably not.

The suit scowled at the officer but didn't comment, and so they rode quietly the rest of the way to the station. His station, where he had his first interrogation, got his first undercover assignment, arrested his first petty thief, and took down his first dirty cop. Where they drilled Miranda rights into every officer's brain until it just became instinctive to spit out the words the minute their hands touched metal cuffs.

He had the right to remain silent. Silence was his savior.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to remember her smile and her laugh, her cold feet under the sheets, and how her hair tickling his nose woke him every morning. That felt like a million years ago now, and he prayed that he'd be able to live in that world again. The everlasting image of confusion and hurt on her face remained with him, though, a much stronger memory than the others.

Silence was also his executioner.


	81. Free

_Tag to ep 7x10: Internal Affairs._

* * *

><p>Her hands never strayed far from him, whether it was her fingers laced between his under the table, her palm resting protectively on his back, or her fingertips dancing along his thigh. Kensi was happy, so goddamn happy that Deeks thought her face had to be hurting from the huge smile that had graced it since she tackle-hugged him at the boat shed. The first time she truly let any distance exist between them since he'd shown up at Callen's favorite bar was when it was her turn to pick up a round of drinks for everybody. Even then she lingered, not letting him out of her sight as she walked backwards towards the bar.<p>

She thought it was over. The investigation into his past, not their relationship. She still had no idea that it would never actually be over. His guilt would remain a fact no matter how innocent she believed him to be.

"Deeks." Granger's gruff voice snapped him back to the bad music, good beer, and great company that surrounded him. It was time for him to fix his face and attitude again, but he was exhausted. This, everything about these last two days had physically and mentally drained him to the point where he was about to crack.

He still had to keep up the facade, though. "Sup?"

"We know you did it." This time it was Callen that spoke, his normally mild voice even quieter than usual.

Deeks didn't panic, not on the outside anyway. "I'm sorry?"

"Cut the bull," Granger muttered.

Sam's face looked almost as pained as Deeks felt when he raised chocolate eyes to his blue. "We don't care why."

"Really don't want to know how," Granger added.

Callen clenched his jaw and glanced at the bar where Kensi stood. "But there's someone who needs and _deserves_ to know these things."

Shaking his head, Deeks chuckled lightly. This was quite the group to be lecturing him about honesty. It was almost a relief that they had some semblance of an idea about the truth, but two out of the three of the men staring at him had no room to try to give relationship advice. One did, and he was the most quiet of the group that night. "Sam?"

"You can't keep this up forever, Deeks." Sam dropped his hands to his lap and sighed. "And the longer you try, the worse it's going to be for everyone when you fail."

Deeks blinked, then turned his attention to Kensi. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, but that was unavoidable. He tried to tell her when she came to see him in jail, but she wouldn't stay and listen. No matter what, she believed in his innocence and was going to fight and fight until he was free. He'd never _really_ be free, he thought.

And what would happen if he did confess to her and tarnished her image of him? Would he have to then continue with the tale of how he tortured a cleric in Afghanistan for her? Or how if the team hadn't been there to stop him, he probably would have shot Frank Scarli square in the chest and claimed self-defense? And while they were on the subject, why not bring up how it wasn't as hard as he thought it would be to pull the trigger of that .38 revolver pointed at his dad?

Kensi deserved better than to have to bear the weight of those memories. She fought like hell for him, or who she thought he was, and he honestly believed it was because he made her happy. She loved him. And her happiness would always come before his, just like her life would. Once they fell down that rabbit hole of past lies and repressed truths, there would be no coming back.

Deeks looked anxiously between the men at his table. They were right, and he hated it. Hetty was wrong, and he knew it. Nothing about this would be easy, or simple. "I know," he mumbled, watching as Kensi returned to the table with three pitchers. "I know."

"You know what, baby?" Kensi asked, sliding the beer onto the table and plopping beside him.

"That I should have helped you carry the pitchers to the table," he answered, the lie sliding easily off of his tongue. They always did. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever," she responded with a grin. Sam and Callen worked to fill everyone's steins, but all he could focus on was her and her smile. He could stare at that smile forever, and hated that he would be the one to make it fade away. "Shall we make a toast?"

"Um." Deeks shrugged and grabbed his beer. "Sure. What are we, uh, toasting to?"

All eyes were on him as she clinked her beer against his. "To freedom."

If she noticed his face fall, she didn't say anything. "Freedom," they all echoed.

He was surrounded by friends and in love and _free_, and could celebrate all of those things. For now.


	82. Things Change

_It's Christmas in California_  
><em>And it's hard to ignore that it feels like summer all the time<em>  
><em>But I'll take a west coast winter to remove my splinters<em>  
><em>It's good to be alive<em>

The cheers, the lights, and the buzz of the season fill the dark Spanish Mission that night, the last working day before their planned holiday vacations. Deeks has been waiting for a moment to slip away from the crowd, and Eric's recounting of the time he played the Ghost of Christmas Past in his eighth grade Christmas play is the perfect time to escape. Sneaking around his desk, he picks up the yellow folder resting atop it and heads towards Hetty's desk.

He drops the folder on before her with a soft plop, loud enough to seem pointed but quiet enough not to startle the older woman. Her eyes rise slowly to his and he twists his lips. "This was on my desk this morning."

Hetty nods. "And?"

"And I already have a copy of the federal agent application locked up in my desk from when you gave it to me 5 years ago."

"Yes, well." She taps the folder. "They have...updated the application. This one is current."

"Current," he repeats with a sigh.

"Yes, Mr. Deeks. Things change."

Glancing at his coworkers, sans Sam, Deeks stretches his arms and settles into the seat in front of Hetty's desk. She's a cryptic little devil, and being at eye level with her helps him when trying to judge what she really means when she utters a sentence. What Hetty says can rarely be taken at face value. "And by things, you mean..." he points back and forth between them. "This?"

She ignores the question. "I would strongly encourage you to complete the application this time."

Or what, he wonders. In a way, Hetty has him under her control now. She's still the only one that knows the entire truth about his part in the death of his former partner. She's the one who saved his ass and could just as easily fry it if it was necessary for her own self-preservation. It scares Deeks a little that he understands her, and can even think like her. "And if I don't?"

Hetty merely raises an eyebrow.

"Why does this oddly feel like blackmail..." Deeks muses, half jokingly. But the thought legitimately entered his mind.

"Your recent circumstances have made you paranoid, Detective. I'm merely offering this advice for your own protection. You're still on Detective Whiting's radar, and you could be randomly selected by Internal Affairs for questioning as long as you remain in their system. Out of sight, out of mind, if you will." She smiles tightly. "And I can't guarantee that I can save you the next time one of your skeletons decides to escape from your closet."

He clenches his jaw and drops his gaze to his hands, watching as he fists them tightly. It's a reflex he can't control, much like so many aspects of his life. Including his career now, it seems. "I still don't understand why you want me, Hetty. I didn't see it 6 years ago and I don't see it now."

Her smile softens. "You have a certain...quality, that I appreciate."

_A quality._ Ruthless? Deadly? The ability to completely disconnect and do whatever is necessary? Certainly she didn't mean his sense of humor. She rarely appreciates that. Maybe the qualities she sees in him are the same ones she sees in herself?

He reaches for the folder and pulls it to his lap, taking in the contents for what they were - his future, whether he was ready for it or not. "It seems wrong to do this now, somehow. I've waited so long, and I don't know that fear is the right reason to make this leap."

"I see." Reaching for her tumbler of bourbon, Hetty purses her lips together. "Just as sometimes we have to choose to do the wrong thing for the right reasons, we also must choose to do the right thing for the wrong reasons."

Deeks can hear Kensi cackling with her obnoxious laugh, and figures Eric's story must be over. No way it could have been that funny, so Nell must have begun her own raucous tale. Even from afar, her laugh gives him strength. It's one of the reasons he hasn't been able to admit his overwhelming guilt to her - now that he's had her in every way possible, he doesn't think he can ever be around her without continuing to have everything. Fear currently has a stranglehold on every aspect of his life, from his relationship to his job to just his very existence. He's suffocating.

"You look like you want to get something off your chest, Mr. Deeks."

"I do," he replies softly. "I'm going to tell her the truth. Just don't know when or how. And now this, this is one more thing to tell her about."

"I believe she and the rest of your team will be proud of you." That thought makes his heart flutter, because even if he doesn't feel that it's necessarily deserved, acceptance is a feeling he craves. "And you will have plenty of time to figure out how to handle your demons while you're away."

"Uh, away?" His voice squeaks. No shame in that, though. "I don't think I need to remind you of your track record when you send people 'away'."

"Tread lightly," Hetty warns, though he doesn't take it very seriously. She's already proven she'll let him get away with murder, and his smartass snark is nothing compared to that. "Federal Law Enforcement Training. The next training course begins January 2. You are already registered and your flight has been reserved."

"Short notice," Deeks laments. "But...okay." Some space away from all of this could help provide some clarity and perspective. And maybe a tiny voice in his head told him this would make it easier for him to run away if Kensi can't forgive him for his deception. Spain, Japan, hell, even an aircraft carrier. He's always wanted to see the world.

He opens the folder and pulls out his typed resignation, first reviewing it for errors and then signing his full name. Then he skims the application, noting the differences from the one he stores in his desk. New home address, much more experience, but still the same person as his number one reference - Henrietta Lange. The calculating woman he once trusted completely, who shattered his trust, and is now worming her way back into his good graces. They all need redemption from time to time, but the two of them most of all.

"Merry Christmas, Hetty." _Martin A. Deeks_, he scrolls. Standing up, he deposits the papers on her desk with a sad smile. Kensi has been pushing him to become an agent for years. Hopefully this will make up for his inability to get her a ridiculous baby tiger for Christmas. It won't make up for some things, though. He really just wants her to be happy for a little while before...

"And Merry Christmas to you, too, Mr. Deeks."


	83. Bruised

**Kink fic meme: Striptease.**

* * *

><p>Kensi had a thing for blood and bruises.<p>

Not that she wanted to be the source of them unless it was absolutely necessary. She was a sweetheart deep down - romantic movies, flowers, home-cooked meals, even bubble baths. But she liked men, strong men. If anyone asked for her favorite scent on a man, she would answer testosterone. A letterman jacket in the halls of her high school meant nothing to her, but a sweaty face with the beginnings of a black eye after a hard fought football game? Hell yeah. A Marine returning home from war in uniform with battle scars but a strong smile on his face? Sign her up.

An LAPD Detective that had gone round for round with a bomb wielding psychopath, emerging from the (literal) ashes with a bloody grin that screamed "you should see the other guy"? Words could not even begin to express those feelings.

Words still couldn't express them. The situation was different this time. This wasn't just some hot guy. Deeks was her lover, her housemate. When the adrenaline wore off, she was the one who was supposed to be there for him. Mentally he was great, but physically not so much.

"You're so dirty," she blurted out after a long silent drive home.

With a cocked eyebrow and one arm slung over her shoulder, she unnecessarily helped him up the stairs to his, their, bedroom. "You don't usually complain about that," he countered.

"I mean, you could use a shower." Kensi exhaled and nudged the bedroom door open with her boot. "You're filthy."

"Again, not usually a-"

"Shut up," she hissed, avoiding eye contact as she slinked away from him and into the bathroom. The showerhead sprayed her arm with cold water, a nice contrast to her otherwise flushed skin. Now was not the time for inappropriate thoughts about her boyfriend. He was bruised and bleeding, for God's sake.

Deeks crept into the bathroom behind her, murmuring a soft thank you before reaching for the collar of his shirt. Time slowed for a moment, his guttural grimace like a song to her ears as he gently removed his shirt inch by inch. Of course the process appeared to take forever because his muscles were screaming, and his skin burned from the deep scratches covering his body. It still remained hard for Kensi to focus on his pain, and not the way his abdomen flinched in accord with his face, or the ripple of his pecs and hardening of his nipples when exposed to the cool air. Red patches with just the faintest tinge of blue peppered the skin of his chest and arms. Those would hurt far worse than the scratches tomorrow.

He placed his shirt in her hands and flicked open his belt, inching it from his pants and rolling it up tight. He raised his tired eyes to hers and dropped the leather on top of his shirt. There was one request he asked of her when she moved in with him - clothes belonged in the closet, not the bed or couch or refrigerator. She stood in between him and the closet, so it seemed he expected her to put his dirty clothes where they belonged. Moving wasn't really in the cards for her at the moment, though, especially not with his thumb popping open the button of his jeans. The sound of his zipper sliced through the steam before heavy denim hit the tile floor.

Licking her dry lips, she bent down and gathered his pants, and seconds later his boxers. The large bruise already forming on his calf did little to help her current situation of guilty arousal. She could feel his eyes boring into the back of her head, like he knew what was going through her mind. If he did, she was sure he took immense pleasure from knowing he could quite literally bring her to knees. Under normal circumstances, she'd curse him and play it off as nothing, but she'd allow him to have the upper hand this time. After all, he risked his life to save hundreds of people today.

She cleared her throat and stood as he opened the shower door, just barely squeezing between her and the glass without touching either one. The door slammed shut and she sighed, leaning her butt against the counter. The clothes in her arms smelled of fire and sweat and Deeks, and it would have been repulsive if the scents were anything but him. Instead it was heaven, a reminder that despite the blood, they'd made it through another day. That should have been in the forefront of her mind, not her uncontrollable horniness around hot, beaten men.

"God, I should be ashamed," she muttered to herself, shaking her head.

The shower door cracked ajar and a dripping wet head poked out. Deeks looked at her quizzically, then swung the door open. "You coming?"

Her eyes widened, staring at the water cascading off of his muscles. "Yup," she squeaked, hurling his clothes and then her own into the closet. "And probably in record time."


End file.
